Uncle Fatih’s | Food | Vancouver pizza delivery chain. We have no idea as to whether or not there is an actual “Uncle Fatih”, but if there is we hope he’s the guy who wrote the bizarre “about us’ section on the company’s official website: “Uncle Fatih’s organized and affordably awesome style is one thing your BMW just isn’t edible…” So, yeah.

Usage: “I went to school with a dude who swore that Uncle Fatih was his real uncle and that all they ever ate in their family was free pizza…”