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On The Prime Minister’s Smugness & Surveying Canadian Indifference


by Sean Orr | A December to remember: Liberal’s online democracy survey is an insult. You guys are just jealous you didn’t earn the Innovator Badge. I just unlocked 500 electoral reform points that I can spend on postcards to remind everyone about electoral reform! “Yes, you read that correctly. The electoral reform survey doesn’t ask your opinion on electoral reform.” Um yeah, because values. We want to know about your values, not your opinions. That way we can decide if your values are correct or not.

Because as Mark Holland says, 97% of you don’t know what you’re even talking about.

Setting up one hell of a moment during question period:

It’s a good thing there’s a lot of ice in Ottawa because Monsef just got burrrrrrrned. Unfortunately, the same 97% of Canadians who are too dumb (or indifferent) to understand electoral reform also don’t watch question period.

If they did they’d see their smug Prime Minister stammer like “He’s Just Not Ready”. They’d see him unable to answer basic questions like “where were you last night”. The answer, of course, was that he was at another cash for access event.

To be fair, Math is hard. But it’s ok, because Buzzfeed knows what our democracy style is: “Would you rather have online voting OR be chased by murderous clowns for the rest of your life?”

Of course when the quiz talks about diversity it makes no mention of economic diversity; it doesn’t separate poor Canadians from rich ones. Although the Liberals ran a cultural campaign, believe it or not there are some parties that take class into consideration: Liberals paint gloomy picture of Canada’s economy. It’s weird. It’s almost like our economy can’t forever be a resource-based Hudson’s Bay trapper frontier economy. Although I do like those blankets.

Take your pick Canada, stark inequality or total war. Can we just flip a coin?

Heads they win: Trudeau’s Liberals join with Conservatives to vote down anti-poverty bill. “Liberals say they’re already at work opening “a dialogue on the subject of poverty reduction in Canada…” It’s like we’re faced with an armour-plated alien killing machine and we’re talking about putting together a solution package over tea and biscuits.

This is supposed to be humour, but it’s more like a long drawn out sigh: REPORT: Like most handsome guys, Trudeau turning out to be a bit of a lying dick.

‘Make Canada great again’ flyers with anti-Muslim, anti-gay imagery alarm McGill University community. Let’s open a dialogue with these guys. Not. Let’s get Raffi to kick the shit out them.

When we said we wanted to be able to spend the rest of our lives in Vancouver this is not what we meant: Overdose deaths involving fentanyl fill Vancouver morgues to capacity.

That image might have finally painted a clear enough picture for the stubborn BC Libs to do something: Fentanyl crisis: B.C. announces new overdose sites in Vancouver, Victoria, Surrey. “Overdose sites” with nobody actually manning them and nobody handing out clean needles.

Of course if the city wants to prevent overdoses, they should stop criminalizing homelessness: Proposed property tax increase in Vancouver to deal with opioid crisis. Um, OK but isn’t health care a provincial responsibility?

There’s something so primal about the white guilt that emerges when it’s cold. It taps into our Northern European psyche or something. For example, in my alley the Glowbal Group put up this shoddy green wall with hooks for people to dump clothes and called it “The Wall of Hope” (like the top of the dumpster two feet away wasn’t as useful).

Hey no harm in asking, right? West Vancouver doctor asks patients for money to help him retire comfortably. Stay tuned, loyal readers. I might be hitting you up soon.

FBI Agents Hospitalized After the Installation of a New Cedar Sculpture. Who said art is ineffectual?

Bonus: UJ3RK5: Live From The Commodore Ballroom.

There are 9 comments

  1. So is Tea & Two Slices basically a poorly disguised pro-NDP column now or what?

  2. I’m unapologetically progressive. If that means my ideals sometimes line up with the NDP so be it, but the truth is, their push to the centre is exceedingly frustrating and the Liberals and Conservatives are indistinguishable. I’m a democratic socialist. The happiest most prosperous countries in the world are democratic socialist. It’s a no brainer.

  3. “I’m a democratic socialist. The happiest most prosperous countries in the world are democratic socialist.” Have you considered moving?

  4. What’s holding you back? You seem capable of bitching about such things whilst your boss(es) gallivant in Jamaica.

  5. Gallivanting, you say? God forbid a man takes a holiday around Christmas. This is what happens when you feed the trolls.

  6. Yes, gallivanting; used the word right there in my comment.

    You and yours are going around from one place to another in the pursuit of pleasure or entertainment whilst your biggest draw, from day one, continues scraping away as a dish pig; home subsidized by his parents. Fine by me, but look at yourselves before blaming others, please..

  7. That’s a great way to stay blind to any and all injustices. Privilege checked! lol “Have you considered moving?” Um, no. I want a better Canada, why do I have to move to get that?

On Ken Sim’s So-Called “Swagger” and ABC’S Class War

Sean Orr is back from his hiatus with a rundown of the local headlines that have been running on a ticker tape through his mind over the past six months...

On Post-Election Recuperation, Platform Paradoxes and Refund Communities

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr finds irony in "safety, affordability, and sustainability", and shouts out a bunch of amazing local organizations working on the frontlines.

On Running for City Council, Playing Whack-a-Mole with Homelessness, and the Public Washroom Deficit

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr finds a park ranger with a grudge, a gross misuse of air quotes and Tripadvisor slander.

On Living in a City Preoccupied with Street Cleaning, Chandeliers, and Campaigns Against the Homeless

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr hones in on the recent Langley shootings, and the ongoing criminalizing and dehumanizing of the homeless population.