On Microscopic Plastic Falling From the Sky and Chip Wilson’s Awesome Little Pep Talk

Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

Get off my lawn: ‘Socialism will always fail’: Billionaire Chip Wilson addresses protesters outside his home. Not that I ever fantasized or even made a music video about kidnapping him for a good scare or anything, but this walking billboard for a wealth tax is lucky we didn’t come with pitchforks. “The world doesn’t want your product”, he says…to artists. So you don’t own any art, watch films, or listen to any music, Chip? Where do you think the people making the “cultural products” you consume have studios? In their 350 sft micro lofts?

And since “socialism always fails”, I hope he opts to pay for all healthcare bills for himself and his family and has his own private fire department. Oh, and he got rid of his Ask Chip Anything feature on his website so I can’t ask him if capitalism is so great then why is it on the verge of yet another recession. Or, you know, if he still has that erection problem.

But wait, there’s more! Chip Wilson’s property company connected to Great Northern Way campus not hosting New Forms festival.

Meme time!

If capitalism is so great then why is there a company that profits from the social isolation seniors experience multiplied by the absolute failure of the market to provide rental housing to young people? B.C. company helps seniors find young people to share a home, expenses. It’s probably a great idea until, you know, the inevitable happens…

If capitalism is so great why does a fast food company spend millions of dollars to prevent Canadian workers from organizing? A&W Tells Anti-Union Conference It Keeps a Secret ‘Watch List’ To Make Sure Workers Don’t Unionize. I’m sure my cholesterol levels will thank me but boycotting my beloved Buddy Burgers truly breaks my heart. I’m sure 90% of cooks in Vancouver are with me. Right guys?

Of course, you probably won’t read about the above story in Canadian corporate media because: You Must Be This Conservative To Ride: The Inside Story of Postmedia’s Right Turn.

B.C. gondola saboteur ‘put themselves in extreme danger’. To paraphrase. ‘We have no idea who could’ve done this, but it was probably environmentalists’. Or you know, a disgruntled employee; those teens who had to be rescued after they were refused service; drunk Squampton teenagers out on a lark; renegade Australian #vanlifer types going next-level extreme; or the Sasquatch.

Satire of the day: Report: 6 more ethics violations will win Trudeau a free 6 inch sub at Parliament’s cafeteria.

Bonus: It’s raining plastic: microscopic fibers fall from the sky in Rocky Mountains.

There is 1 comment

On Billionaire Power Lunches and Remembering the Fine Dining Guest Who Exploded

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr finds housing solutions in plain sight and claps for a small town newspaper.

On Other Empty Skyscrapers and Disenchanted Royals Protesting Bike Lanes

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr rides an e-scooter and imagines taking paper away from Rex Murphy.

On the Trouble With Being Doomed and Making Fun of Ourselves in the Snow

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr finds new music, combs Reddit, and ponders the value of an inbred family.

On Vancouver’s War Against Millennials and Institutionalizing the Mentally Ill by Force

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr worries about the next $5 bill and milquetoast media outlets mocking cops.