Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

That’s a big no from me, dog: Vancouver’s Average Rent Is Expected To Shoot Up To $2,423 Per Month In 2020. And they complain about a 7% increase in property taxes that have sat historically low for decades allowing them to accrue unprecedented wealth without paying their fair share towards infrastructure…

Try telling a landlord this, or that the revenue from rent is about 325% more than what their expenses are – never mind the massive rise in property value that they “earn” – and they lose their minds. Peep this surreal twitter thread where LandlordBC and Vision Vancouver insiders team up to protest the AffordableBC rent freeze petition.

Alternatively, read Demoviction Meme’s parody of it:

Vision Vancouver politician and multiple property ‘small’ landlord Patti Bacchus gives top 5 risks landlords face that justify above inflation rent increases

#1 Tenant decides to cook mdma in kitchen, dies, and leaves landlord with $200,000 bill (this happens about 50% of time)

#2 Gas station next door contaminates landlord property (maybe a little less than 50% of time but close second)

#3 Crazy boyfriend moves in, drives out girlfriend with craziness and snakes

#4 Same crazy b/f’s snakes escape leaving dead snakes everywhere and nearby tenants move out (This is so common it was made into movie…Snakes in a Suite)

#5 Whole crazy snakes experience results in tens of thousands in repair bills

Therefore, rent increases should be kept at above inflation rates.

Poor Patti. Such a hard life inheriting apartment buildings from daddy.

5-storey rental apartment approved for Kitsilano. “We have a less than one per cent vacancy rate. We need rental,” said Rebecca Bligh. “There’s no displacement here. Zero. We don’t often see that.” Ok…first, there are only 13 below-market units, none of which are over 921 square feet. Second, below-market rates for Kits means jack shit. And third, that is such a sophomoric understanding of the mechanisms of displacement. Land values displace people. This will increase land values.

Not one more: Kelowna father staying at park site for homeless dies after being found unconscious. “City of Kelowna, which monitors overnight site at Recreation Avenue, says cause of death is not yet known”. Um…

…Is it because Homelessness kills: Study finds third of homeless people die from treatable conditions?

Nuke Victoria: Victoria nurse asks for compassion after people shout at him for saving an overdose victim. It’s almost like this idea of pitting people against each other has some real downsides…

Vancouver take note. You should have slashed the police budget and funded recreation: Regina takes new approach to eliminating crime by boosting recreation, culture fund. Oh wow, who would have thought reversing decades of budget cuts in the name of austerity and restoring some semblance of a society that everyone – not just corporations and the 1% – can benefit from would even be possible except for literally fucking everyone?

Car2Gone: Hundreds of thousands of Car2Go members to lose service as company pulls out of North America. I’ll never forget saving 4 of them during the Stanley Cup riots and the company called me into their office and offered me a…water bottle.

Schadenfreude of the day: ‘The Price is Right’ gives California contestant trip to Prince George, B.C..

Bonus: Here’s why Canadians eat mandarin oranges during the holiday season.