Tea & Two Slices is a long-running news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran restaurant dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown. He is very aware of his privilege, so there’s really no need to remind him of it.

Celebrate when they legalize all drugs. Actually, don’t celebrate at all, unless you’re the corporate behemoth that is now Big Weed: Here’s the Dumbest Stuff We’ve Seen About Legal Weed. Shout outs to all the hippies, activists and marginalised individuals who risked everything to build what’s now been taken away from them.

It gets dumber: Pot sells out online in Winnipeg, lineups grow outside stores. Oh weird…so by making only a few places sell weed leads to a shortage? Who could have seen that one coming?

If Canada Post goes on strike Monday, how will you get pot in Ontario? The same way as always, I guess.

It’s not like I’m surprised by the fact that the government is completely botching this, but…wow I’m really surprised they’re botching this: 10 things that will still be a crime after cannabis is legalized. “Bottom line is that besides abstaining for a decent amount of time, there is no good way to be sure you’re complying with the law – which is particularly concerning when that law is the Criminal Code, and punishments range from a fine to jail time”. The silver lining is that there is now an entire profession known as Weed Lawyer: “I want to toke to my attorney now…”

A hero emerges: Ex-Liberal treasurer putting up $25K to fight drug-impaired driving law “If you enjoy cannabis, as many Canadians will, let’s say on a Friday night, you shouldn’t be worried on Monday morning, when you are completely, 100 per cent not impaired.”

B.C. solicitor general warns illegal cannabis outlets: Close if you want a licence. Is this how we did it when prohibition ended? Sorry Eberhard Anheuser, you have to close all operations and hope you get a license. Also, I’m pretty sure speakeasies just became regular bars…

Woof: Marijuana-sniffing dogs reassigned to Canada civil service. “We just need Peanut to stop barking like crazy every time she runs into Randy from the mailroom…”. Brilliant.

Praise Jah: Legal weed opens whole new world of cultural appropriation opportunities for Canadian companies. “From names like Totem Tokes to Cree-inspired logos, legalization means we can honour the hell out of Indigenous people on a whole new level.” Oh also…TIL that the word marijuana is racist, so…

But wait! Move over legal weed, BC Ferries has debit! Debit now accepted onboard BC Ferries – Victoria News. Great, now we can buy our grandparents matching polar fleece and the Best of Handel boxset CD at the gift store…

Thought big money was finally out of Vancouver politics? Think again. Yeah, that’s totally what I thought. I thought to myself, wow…big money is out of Vancouver politics. Complete and total transparency has been achieved. No more developer influence! Democracy is saved! And then I bought a reusable straw and saved the planet.

If you’re voting for Kennedy Stewart, read this. Some pretty minor stuff. Although, if Neil Monkton emailed me to take down a tweet I’d probably set off a giant red flare, but also…meh. I might be saying this because I already voted for him before leaving on tour with my band (currently writing this somewhere in New Jersey).

The one thing about Kennedy that bugs me is that he believes rent control is unattainable: New study says rent control doesn’t discourage new housing.

Chilliwack of the day: This Man is Probably The Worst School Trustee in British Columbia. Where is the Chilliwack Antifa when you need them?

Solidarity: Downtown Eastside housing organizers occupy 58 West Hastings.

What were they thinking? Hudson’s Bay Removes ‘Make Canada Great Again’ Hat From Website Amid Backlash.

Remember, fascism is a slow creep. Keep up the backlash.

Related: Hate group sticking with stupid name, “Proud Boys”.

Bonus: Assisted deaths on Vancouver Island five times the national average.