TEA & TWO SLICES | On Pigeons Making Bad Decisions & Politics Shadier Than Rainforests

May 5, 2017.

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by Sean Orr | So my jury duty selection was cancelled. Faith is restored in the system. I bring you yet another pre-election Tea and Two Slices…you know, for all you still undecided voters out there…

British Columbia 2017 election too close to call? Well, that’s a lot better than “If this man kicked a dog he would still win the election.” Because as we all know he did not kick a dog and he did not win the election. Just thought I’d clarify that for you.

Still, though. They be scared. BC NDP win would cause ‘uncertainty’: TD. While it’s not quite the Comey-style interference I was predicting, you know the BC Liberals are going to jump all over this.

Basically, Bay Street and the like are just worried the NDP would take away their Wild West kleptocratic playground: British Columbia’s Business Temptation: An Opaque Array of Tax Breaks. I’m just going to skip past the “bouillabaisse of cultures” remark…

Participating companies have created few jobs, according to government figures, while more than 140 million Canadian dollars ($106 million) have been doled out in tax refunds since 2008, when the initiative was expanded. The incentives operate under a cloak of secrecy that is unusual for similar efforts in Canada and the United States, critics say. The province will not name the companies that get the breaks. The only information available about them is on the website of a nonprofit that promotes the program.

The only thing more shady is a west coast rainforest. Well, the ones that weren’t completely mismanaged by the Liberals…

Speaking of trees: “The greens are not left or progressive, they’re Ayn Rand with pretty trees.” Smyth: Why Christy Clark loves the Green Party. Note: Article is from 2016.

This one is current: What happened to the BC Greens? Well, they let me run for them in 2005 so it’s not like they have a record of making good decisions…

And once more from the horse’s mouth:

At least Dr. Weaver remembers how he voted in the HST referendum, unlike the fucking premier: “I killed the HST:” Clark vows no new taxes under BC Liberal government. “Umm, I can’t remember. I think I probably voted for it in the referendum.” Clark’s government spent $5 million on a pro-HST campaign and now her memory is fuzzy? Welcome to BC’s very own post-fact election. Jesus…

And remember, for all their scaremongering, B.C.’s Decade Under NDP Was Anything But ‘Lost’.

Also, Beware the false equivalence of comparing corporate political donations with union contributions.

Satire of the day: BC Liberals offer Groupon so voters can meet Christy Clark at half her normal rate.

Of course, if you’re rich you don’t need a Groupon, just eat at Carnegie Centre! Carnegie Community Centre patrons attempt to chase out slumlord from cafeteria.

Fake news? Vancouver’s drug problem is so bad that pigeons are making nests out of needles: police. This smells like a set up to me. Pigeons are pretty dumb. Cops aren’t.

Seen in Vancouver: “All cops are bastards” or “Ain’t caring about BMWs”?

? #acab

A post shared by Zach Barton (@bartonspaceman) on

Craigslist of the day: Cheeseburger Spring Rolls.

Dip them in ketchup. Dip them in mustard. Throw them at your shitty neighbor.
Or your landlord because your rent is too high. The Presidents Choice website gives them 3 out of 5 stars, and one reviewer said they’re a great supper for singles! Are you single enough to eat these?

RIP of the day: East Vancouver spot Our Town Café shutting down in Mount Pleasant. “The best place for writers to make it obnoxiously obvious that they’re writers”. – Owen Ellis. Alas: false alarm.

Hero of the day: Only man left in B.C. beachside community says he won’t give up his cabin

Art of the day: Canadian Artist Kristi Malakoff Crafts Striking Lifesize Maypole Sculpture from Paper.

Bonus: Man Attempting to Break Up Berkeley Riots With Can of Pepsi is the Best Thing on the Internet Right Now.

#ScoutThis

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