by Sean Orr | Keep calm and shut the fuck up: Dutch Disease in Canada a myth. Then why are you talking about it? Ha, I’ve got you there! No, but read this story and then watch this video. Then read that article again. Now look at me. I’m on a horse.

But yeah…arrest Sean Devlin, a famous local comedian, for showing up and giving a shit while wearing a funny shirt. That’s a way better use of our resources.

The Ottawapiskat hashtag comes to life: Harper slashes transit funding as climate crisis deepens. Well, then we need a hashtag for Governor General David Johnston, because he actually represents the Queen, who is actually God’s representative on Earth. Would Emperor Palpatine be so gauche?

From Palpatine to Palin: “She’s got her mug on TV out there, selling her propaganda campaign”. My God! This alone should be what makes her lose the next election (and she does lose the next election, I have a TARDIS).

From Doctor Who to Doctor WTF? 20 Million Canadians Suffer from Nomophobia, Rogers Says, and This is Just the Beginning. This is a real thing?

I’ll just put this right here: BC’s poor paying more taxes than rich. There has got to be a logical fallacy icon for that.

And then there’s this: Vancouver’s Poor Laws: City council to approve $10,000 fine for homelessness. That’s more fucked up than anything Sam Sullivan ever did.

Wally Oppal got shot on national television? Yeah, but not really. (Forget gun control. We need goof control.)

BC Ferry taken out of service after crew realizes vessel couldn’t stop. Yeah, I heard that stopping is a super important thing with big boats.

Meanwhile, The Province turned into a porn blog so quickly that I barely even noticed. 5 ways to turn women off oral sex. (Think of this every time they spout off about family values.)

Bonus: Scamcouver.