TEA & TWO SLICES: On Brash Coyotes And The Mayor Who Is Even Cooler Than Gregor

December 5, 2012.

by Sean Orr | Romancing the Stoned? Meghan MacIver: Doing more harm than good in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. The funny thing, though, is that’s exactly what she’s doing.

“She’s a big girl,” the manager said, laughing. Then she reminded us we had a lot of other things we had to deal with and that it wasn’t our place to judge her choices”.

Not only does she not follow that advice, she then allows a paper known for its free-market fundamentalist and social darwinist views to publish her story about it.

And speaking of romanticism: “She still wore the beauty of youth, yet it was faded. She seemed harried, threadbare and careworn. She kept brushing nervously at a straggle of loose hair, clearly uncomfortable chatting”. It’s ok, though, because Stephen Hume redeems himself later in the article: “What we need is a mature public discussion about our mediocrity, our failure of imagination and our collective apathy and incompetence”.

Paranoid Oil-igarchy: U.S. greens shut down Canadian oil. OK…first of all, they aren’t doing that at all and second, what exactly is a “U.S. Green”? As far as I know – and this comes from when Canada actually cared about the environment more than our neighbours – there is no such thing as “American” air and water or “Canadian” air and water. “There’s an elephant in the room. Government and industry need to deal directly with the deep-pocketed foundations that write the big cheques”. Profound, but wrong, as No Casino Garossino ably rebutts: “At most, only about 1.5 per cent of that ominous multi-billion dollar CGBD budget slipped across the border into Canada. Pretty much all of it went somewhere else”.

Meanwhile, New Port Mann Bridge — world’s widest — opens to eight lanes Saturday. It’s a Christmas miracle! I mean, just listen to this masturbatory drivel:

As the construction worker lifted the final cone, he hoisted it above his head like the Stanley Cup and the crowd clapped and cheered. Cars zipping over the new bridge honked in support. There was nary a brake light in sight.

Yeah, that’s because less people are actually driving to Vancouver. In fact, we’re at the same traffic levels as when the first Port Mann was built. Naw, but still…we got the widest bridge in the world, bitches!

Anxiety Ramp: UBC anxiety ramps up at talk of a two-phase approach to building Broadway rapid-transit line. Also, Marek, fix your mom’s website.

It’s weird how when so called tough-on-crime politicians are in charge crime goes way up: Police-reported homicide rate up seven per cent last year. Well, I guess they need more criminals to fill all the prisons they are making.

Don’t feed the wildlife: Brash Stanley Park coyote has wildlife expert worried. Where do you sign up to be a Coyote watcher? I want that job.

Your move Gregor: Meet the coolest mayor in the world.

And introducing: Bunch of Weird Little Skids.

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