by Sean Orr | Sorry we burnt down your White House: The 1812 overture. “That wraps the maple syrup of truth in the waffle of propaganda.” Now I don’t know if I’m hungry, angry, or hangry.

‘Laptop hobos’ face crackdown. Sooo…it appears as if we’re all stuck in some sort of post-modern Mobius Strip written and coded entirely by Douglas Fucking Coupland…

…wherein our magazines publish articles like Do Vancouver Men Suck? Yup, Van Mag tells of local ladies who “hike the Chief, do the Grouse Grind, ski, bike the seawall, and kayak. This evening, they’re participating in another favourite local pastime—dissing Vancouver men.” And they do Bikrams, make a point to “hang out on the Drive” at least once a month, loved The Help, have a bread-maker that they’ve used once, go on green-tea cleanses, are feminists ‘up to a point’, own a pink Canucks Jersey, and don’t go anywhere without their Bichon Frise named Pedro (after the guy from Napolean Dynamite). But yeah, it’s the men that suck.

Mount Mole-hill: Christy Clark’s $3,300 Excellent Hockey Adventure. I wanna get so mad at this, but if I was mayor, I would make it so that all Canucks games were free for all government employees (except for the library workers, of course).

Rad not radical: ‘Environmentalists, other radical groups,’ threaten pipeline: Joe Oliver. And don’t forget them damn, meddling injuns!

Although noted poverty activist Ivan Drury might not agree with me, OpenFile does: “In 2012, it’s political will, not awareness, that’s in short supply”. That’s a bingo.

What capitalism giveth, it can taketh away: Burnaby baker lays off 50 after Starbucks dunks contract. There’s something cruel about the use of the word dunk in that headline.

Everyone who uses public transit on the North Shore should watch out for this guy. Hey look, sometimes Reddit is actually useful!

Other useful things: More than 200 city parks mapped for mobile app.