by Sean Orr | I’m back! I wasn’t depressed that Christy “Carpet Bagger” Clark won her by-election, and no, I didn’t get raptured. Nor have I taken a passive role in our new irrational reality. My absence can be explained thusly: I punched my hard disk in the face because I watched this Tim Horton’s commercial one too many times.

Anyway, I had this fear-mongering piece from The Province saved: Brand bin Laden: The next generation. The gist: we’re about to hunt down a 16 year old boy with a stealth helicopter because Osama’s death doesn’t mean we’re “done” and we need to be in a long, protracted “war” with whichever enemy we feel like inventing (and subsequently sensationalizing) next.

This is why we need the CBC: Probe highlights drug company conflicts. I don’t see anyone else taking on Big Pharma.

Meanwhile, The Tyee wonders who will clean up our mining mess? Probably not the party that takes in $750,000 from Teck Cominco. Bring it up and they’ll play the jobs card.

In Whistler, the hunt for vacationing gang members goes on. “They like to go where the parties are happening, where the youth are, where the good-looking people are.” Not only does this make the Globe & Mail look like Walter Kronkite in the ghetto but how much are we paying this “Combined Forces Special Enforcement Unit” to figure out that gangsters like to party?

If you needed any further help convincing yourself to never visit The Roxy, they “don’t serve people in mocassins. Funny how they still serve people wearing Uggs…

The Straight renames their blog Blogra. It works because it makes me think of Viagra, and when I think of the Straight I think of old people.

A reminder: Property owners are required to clear the sidewalks of puddles and rain by 10am.

Craiglist asks: Are you interested in becoming a co-parent? That depends if my mom is reading this or not.