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On Trudeau Trolling B.C. & The Under-Appreciated Effects Of Oil Spills


by Sean Orr | Here we go: First Nations, environmentalists vow ‘long battle’ on approved Kinder Morgan pipeline. “If I thought this project was unsafe for the B.C. coast, I would reject it. Period,” said Trudeau. “This decision was based on debate, science and evidence.” Bwah hah, he’s fucking trolling us, right? I would like to see the science that says “we are at the tipping point of climate change, but let’s go ahead and build more pipelines.” We can’t even clean up a tug spill, for fuck’s sake.

I would like to see the science that shows the effect of diluted bitumen on marine life, because there is none. “Scientists don’t even know the chemical composition of the different varieties of the toxic liquid diluent when it is added to bitumen to help it flow through a pipeline because it is considered a trade secret of industry.”

Science? No. This is politics. Despite his ridiculous claim that “we have not been and will not be swayed by political arguments, be they local, regional or national.” Why Kinder Morgan could severely damage the Trudeau-B.C. connection. “They don’t want the [Energy East] pipeline through Quebec … he’d clearly prefer to deal with protests in British Columbia than protests in Quebec.” Let’s all make him regret that decision.

Er… peacefully though, right? Non-peaceful pipeline protests will be met by police and military, federal minister tells Edmonton business leaders. What is this, pre-emptive threats? “Flics, porcs, assassins“!

In the wake of this, Leadnow and all of the strategic voting apologists can get stuffed. So can the Dogwood Institute and all the white saviour ENGOs that go so transparently bait and switched. “Well, at least Northern Enbridge didn’t go through…”  Yeah, enjoy your moral relativism.

Why are we bending to Alberta’s job woes when they pegged their entire economy on oil? It’s crazy that a 10% unemployment rate in Calgary can justify Canada’s repudiation of sound climate change policy, especially since unconventional oil extraction counts for only 1.6% of the GDP. I know math is hard, folks, but just think about that for a moment. The people that make Moose Dropping cookies probably account for more of a share.

Of course, we could all get jobs cleaning up cormorants with Dawn. Because don’t forget, the Kinder Morgan application actually said that oil spills can have both negative and positive effects.

Some comic relief: Kinder Morgan approval puts Trudeau ahead in Conservative leadership race.

Meanwhile, here are 10 Oil Spills That Look Like Prime Minister-Elect Justin Trudeau’s Hair

Kinder Morgan pipeline sets the table for next B.C. election. Expect Clark to trot out the “five conditions” line ad nauseum.

Scientists, police called in over Vancouver Aquarium’s beluga deaths.

Dr. Nightingale also said social-media “trolls” have been “systematically harassing” some aquarium staff. Then came the two beluga deaths. “[It’s] a number of circumstances that, taken together, paint a pretty clouded and confusing picture,” he said.

What? This has all the making of a Netflix special called Making a Whale Murderer.

And here I thought I was just depressed because Trump/Castro/Cohen/Kinder Morgan. It has rained almost every day for two months in Vancouver. Start stockpiling vitamin D like David Koresh.

Some good news: Transgender candidate Morgane Oger makes history in Vancouver-False Creek.

Event of the day: White Supremacists in our Backyard.

Bonus: Here Are the 17 Worst Album Covers of the Year.

On Ken Sim’s So-Called “Swagger” and ABC’S Class War

Sean Orr is back from his hiatus with a rundown of the local headlines that have been running on a ticker tape through his mind over the past six months...

On Post-Election Recuperation, Platform Paradoxes and Refund Communities

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr finds irony in "safety, affordability, and sustainability", and shouts out a bunch of amazing local organizations working on the frontlines.

On Running for City Council, Playing Whack-a-Mole with Homelessness, and the Public Washroom Deficit

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr finds a park ranger with a grudge, a gross misuse of air quotes and Tripadvisor slander.

On Living in a City Preoccupied with Street Cleaning, Chandeliers, and Campaigns Against the Homeless

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr hones in on the recent Langley shootings, and the ongoing criminalizing and dehumanizing of the homeless population.