by Sean Orr | Vancouver: I Choose To Stay. I agree with everything in this article, so why does it leave such a bad taste in my mouth, like a wet bocce ball soaked in Stanley Park Amber Ale and e-cig juice?

Ah yes, it must be the sense of entitlement that wafts from these “I’m staying/I’m leaving” blogitorials, swirling around my nostrils like a dank cloud of Blue Diesel: Why I choose to believe that anyone really cares whether I remain in Vancouver.

I choose to let my thoughts be known because I expect to be listened to. I am entitled to an audience. Just like Bootsauce in 1993 when I tried to get backstage to meet the band and the guitar tech for Pere Fume — Bootsauce’s axeman with the way cool dreads — said, “No way, Jose,” and then sprayed my grey track pants with beer so it appeared to everyone in the bar that I had wet myself. Not cool.

Stay and fight. Stay and mock: Twitter account mocks Vancouver rental market. Special shout out to Needs guitarist Colin “Moved ten times in 5 years” Spensley!

Meanwhile, here is a rental property that people don’t want because they’d rather have their single detached house get up to over 1 million: East Vancouver rental apartment project riles some of the neighbours

Rebuild Fort Mac! With minimum wage jobs! 200+ immediate openings for “General Labour Clean-up Crew” in Fort McMurray!

DTES art gallery fundraising for survival with new exhibition. Why did I not hear that Vancouver Coastal Health pulled the bulk of their funding? Oh right, because we’re too busy penning letters about why we’re staying or why we’re leaving to care about mental health. Crazy.

Also tragically not in the news: Attack on Canada’s only surgery clinic for trans people elicits ‘zero reaction’. So while we mock – and quite rightly so – the Deep South for their bathroom controversy, we can’t even call a hate crime a hate crime. Shame.

Mic drop of the day: Kathryn Borel just destroyed Ghomeshi’s and the CBC’s efforts to rescue their reputations.

I don’t really know where to put this: Vancouver Canuck Linden Vey’s father embroiled in alleged murder plot.

Tweet of the day:

The Washington Capitals: a history of complete futility and ugly failure only a Vancouver Canucks fan can truly understand.

— Mike Usinger (@MikeUsinger) May 11, 2016

Joke petition of the day: Make Christy Clark a Senator.

Real petition of the day: Fostering Change. “Cut off from support at 19, youth aging out of foster care too often end up homeless, don’t finish high school, and have no one to turn to in their 20’s”.

Bonus: You’re At Dinner With Your Friends Don Draper And Roger Sterling. Can You Eat The Most Oysters?