This is Dispatch Number One in a series of several posts from co-owner chef Andrey Durbach of La Buca, L’Altro Buca, and Pied-a-Terre. As we announced the other day, Durbach will be intermittently guest-blogging for us over the next few weeks as he eats and drinks his way through Argentina, a land of quality beef, very good and inexpensive wine, and a culture that deeply values the marriage of the two. He plans to spend about 10 days sampling different steaks in Buenos Aires, and then take a week touring  wine country with a possible side trip to Uruguay. It has begun, with a fright…

Steak Out – Eating & Drinking in Argentina

by Andrey Durbach

A little late starting this, but sometimes life gets in the way just a little. Besides taking a few days to figure out our goofy internet connection in our lovely little Buenos Aires apartment, we managed to get robbed (at gunpoint) within 24 hours of arriving here. Not that this is a particularly dangerous city; just in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, we’ve spent a little time mourning the loss of a just purchased digital camera, an iphone a few hundred pesos, two nice bags, and cancelling a credit card and a phone plan, getting locks rekeyed, and just generally feeling a little shellshocked, both of us being mugging virgins. However, beside the two youths that relieved us of our goods (and a good measure of our pride) everyone else in Argentine has been unfailingly polite, gracious and welcoming.  The Argies have endearingly good manners.

Before departing, I’d done some research into the local cuisine and restaurant culture, and was delighted to find that beyond the occasional foray into modern regional seasonal blah blah blah, this was still the land of beef. Grilled beef. And lots of it. Lots. And oceans of red wine to wash it all down with. And dulche de leche for dessert. So, then, all of my favorite things, and in copious amounts.  For once, the reality actually matches the ideal.

On the journey to the land of beef, I actually managed to eat beef three times before actually arriving. In my defense, it is a 24 hr trip, and I did need some point of reference for my “research”. Having arrived at the airport two hours in advance of our departure to Toronto, we decided to have breakfast at the Milestones. Why? Well, it was there, and it was open and….well that’s it really. My wife prods me “you should have the steak”, and snickers a little. So I do. And it’s not bad. Six ounces of corn fed certified Angus top sirloin, completely devoid of any seasoning, with inedible guacamole and a tomato salsa consisting almost entirely of onions. Never mind, the steak is fine, and I can add my own salt, but I’m happy when I get to leave.

We have a four hour layover in Toronto, and have arranged to meet friends at their house for dinner before departing for Buenos Aires. After some charcuterie and some catching up, we sat down to a perfectly cooked slab of Cumbrae farms organic beef striploin, which it was suggested, with the merest hint of irony, would provide us with a good point of comparison for the beefeating to come. I liked the Cumbrae farms beef, with its cheesy, nutty flavours, and firm, lean texture. The potato gratin was raw. The conversation and after dinner drinks in the bar at the Drake were excellent, and our visit was over all too soon. Dinner number two on the flight to B.A. was a choice of chicken or beef. Ummmm, beef please. Braised chuck shortrib with barley. Just about as good as Milestones at 37,000 feet.

10 Important Points About Dining In Argentina:

1. For anybody who thinks a 7:30 table is the holy grail and is unable or unwilling to eat any later (“oh no, we couldn’t possibly eat at 8:30, that’s far too late”), just so you know, YOU WILL STARVE TO DEATH IN ARGENTINA.  Restaurants (the kind that serve dinner) don’t open until 9:00–for tourists–and don’t have anyone in them–except tourists–until 10:30. It is not just possible, but common for people to arrive for dinner at midnight. This includes children and old people.

2. Places with North American style “ambiance”(i.e. plush, comfortable chairs, dimmed lighting or candlelight, artwork etc.) are best avoided. Your best food is invariably at well worn, brightly lit, simply furnished spots where the focal point is the hardwood grill (parilla), and the only “art” is crooked pictures of futbol players, and/or futbol memorabilia. These old school rooms are fantastic in and of themselves, and don’t need tarting up.

3. The bread is invariably the shits. There is no need to eat it.

4. The menu is a generalized statement of what is usually, or possibly available, quite often, more often than not, frequently or sometimes. So, if you can only eat tenderloin (at 7:30) and couldn’t possibly contemplate another cut, you will be beefless. If, however, you enjoy beef in all its elaborations, you will be in heaven.

5. Argies eat their beef well done. They are happy to cook it less for you, but you must ask. “Jugoso” will get you a nice evenly cooked pink piece of beef, but the distinction between medium and medium rare is not an important one to them. Jugoso is Jugoso–pink. So, if you can only eat tenderloin cooked medium to medium rare but a little closer to medium (at 7:30) meat eating will be a source of perpetual frustration for you. If you like beef cooked nice and pink, you’ll love it

6. Portions are huge. Really, impossibly huge. Two hungry people can share one steak, and a few bits and bobs (like a piece of grilled provolone, a salad and a chorizo) and be absolutely stuffed. Listen to your waiter, who will make it clear to you if you are over-ordering. Heed his advice.

7. Nobody cares about vegetables. At all. Or sauce. Or salt.

8. Everybody cares about desserts or “postres”. If you wave away the dessert card, you will garner an incredulous look from the waiter, and will in any event be doing yourself a grave disservice. Have a dessert. They are awesome.

9. All the parillas have the exact same menu. Creativity counts for nothing. Who has the best meat, the best grill cook, the best desserts, the best olive oil for the salad, the meltiest provolone, the best recipe for chorizo–these are the things that matter here.

10. Don’t come here if you are a vegetarian, or only eat fish, and expect everyone to do backflips to accommodate you (like if you go to China but don’t eat rice). Beef is the staple here, its an intrinsic part of the culture.

More to follow…………..

————————————