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On Throwing Pumpkin Seeds And The Distraction Of The US Election


by Sean Orr | ‘People didn’t want electoral reform, they wanted me’ — Trudeau says government’s popularity has dampened public’s desire for electoral reform. I don’t care if he has since reconfirmed deep support for reform, it just highlights the enormity of his ego and the depth of his broken promises. It’s enough to make me want to throw pumpkin seeds at him.

This is what I wrote one year ago: “Well, the good news is that the second best party won but the bad news is that the second worst party won. I guess the real winner is fear. Here’s hoping we hold Trudeau to one of his many promises to reform the electoral system so strategic voting can die choking on its own smarmy bile.” In other words, I warned, you. But did you listen to me? Ahh it’s just a harmless little bunny, isn’t it”?

How electoral reform is like the Stanley Cup Finals. “Who should win the Stanley Cup? The team that wins the most games or the team that scores the most goals over seven games?” Let’s take that analogy and instead of the Stanley Cup Finals where only two teams are competing, let’s use it on who gets in the playoffs because they actually do go to goals scored as a tiebreaker, which is basically what a Single Transferrable Vote is.

Things must be bad if even Maclean’s recognizes you as the two-faced colonial snakes that you are: The Liberals’ relationship with Indigenous communities sours. “When it comes to relations with Indigenous communities, it’s getting pretty hard to figure out what differentiates this government from the one Stephen Harper ran before it.”

And for all his “because it’s 2015” bluster, this: NDP MP Kennedy Stewart’s Candidate Gender Equity Bill Not Supported By Liberal Government. “There is only 26 per cent women in this House. That places Canada 64th in the world, behind countries like Iraq and Afghanistan.”

It’s probably because we’re more concerned/entertained/distracted by The Election™: Leave it to a Canadian ad campaign to deliver the most inspiring message of this U.S. election.

Counterpoint: Please Stay The Fuck Out Of This, Canada.

You know what Canada is? Canada is your annoying friend who insists on coming over with a bottle of wine (girls night!) to tell you how everything is going to be just fine even though you got laid off, put your dog down, and found out your husband has another family—two houses down. You tell Canada that you really just want to be alone right now, but Canada insists. Then, after two hours of Canada telling you that, no, it’s actually a good thing that you are 35 years old and have no job, pets, or relationship prospects, Canada goes home to its loving family and leaves you drunk and more miserable than when you started.

Diesel spill near Bella Bella an ‘environmental disaster,’ says nearby First Nation. But yeah, let’s get tankers full of fracked gas going through there. What could possibly go wrong?

Editorial: Supervised injection sites must operate within the medical system. And yet, we wouldn’t have InSite if it wasn’t for the first illegal injection site. Chicken and egg, guys. Chicken and egg.

“However, police have not moved to shut down this illegal operation. By allowing it to continue to operate, the city risks a proliferation of similar sites like the marijuana store fronts that have sprouted like weeds in every neighbourhood due to lack of enforcement”. What a terrible argument. Are they suggesting people are making money off of injection sites? That we’re going to see boutique shooting galleries in Gastown soon?

Besides, the VPD have always tolerated unsanctioned supervised-injection sites and they certainly haven’t “sprouted like weeds”.

In other words, just die already, Postmedia.

I can’t believe this is still a thing: Regina activists place warning labels on Indigenous Halloween costumes.

How are we still this out of touch with reality? University of Ottawa condemns ‘disgraceful’ student pub crawl.

Exhibit B: Windsor-Essex County Humane Society apologizes for asking public to ‘grab a pussy’.

Bonus: Excremental crisis: Who sent UBC philosopher package of poo? Maybe it was Zizek.

There is 1 comment

  1. Um is there a subscribe button for posts like this?! Really loved this, thank you for helping remind Canadians that while what happens south of the border is important, we can’t forget about what’s going out in our communities. Happy to have ten new tabs open….

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