On Jose Bautista Is Lord And Mighty Harper Being Bested By A Haircut


by Sean Orr | Well, the good news is that the second best party won but the bad news is that the second worst party won. I guess the real winner is fear. Here’s hoping we hold Trudeau to one of his many promises to reform the electoral system so strategic voting can die choking on its own smarmy bile.

This is what would have happened last night if we had proportional representation.

Instead, “after a ‘wild night’, where emotions and alcohol ‘may have gotten a little out of hand’, the nation has woken up with a splitting headache, next to Justin Trudeau”. That’s a real shameover.

At least people turned up to vote. In spite of all the shenanigans. Although shenanigans is sort of a jolly word for something so awful. At least we’re consistent. At least the nightmare is now just a fever dream. At least now the corporate media have been exposed as the yellow stain that they really are (shout out to Andrew Coyne). At least the blood ritual I did in the Salem cemetery on election night sort of worked. Shout out to Lorelei for the potion.

At least we’ll have marijuana injection brothels on every corner now. That sounds fun. At least populism is still popular. At least the pipeline is going the other way. At least the fate of the world has been decided. You’re welcome, world!

At least the Bloc are still doing miserably outside of Quebec. At least Vancouver Island knows what’s up. At least all our stop signs won’t have the word Harper under it. At least our new corporate overlords have better hair. At least I can go back to whining about Vancouver being expensive.

At least someone blended Drake’s video for “Hotline Bling” with the Frasier theme song. At least we got one of those amazing Taiwanese animations. At least we’ll always have these election ads.

And at least Jose Bautista is still the Lord of North America.

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