TEA & TWO SLICES: On How To Write Like A Champion, Riot Properly, And Get Elected…

by Sean Orr | So many questions for rural Alberta Conservative MP Blake Richards, whose bill would make wearing masks during riots a crime. Does that include the cops? Also, if you’re in a riot, aren’t you already doing something illegal? How exactly would that have helped during our last riot? What if a riot starts and there are women with niqabs on? How exactly does one know when they are in or not in a riot? Because sometimes they think they are in fact protesting, and then when fake black blockers start one, and the cops use tear gas (on a grandmother, for real), and then people are like WTF, and then they pee on some rags so they can breathe. I mean, look, even CBC is confused. They used a picture of a peaceful protest to talk about a riot, as though they couldn’t find a picture of an actual rioter actually covering their face.

Meanwhile, Anonymous visits US DoJ, FBI, Police & Mil Cybercrime units. OK, I have no idea what that is but it’s completely terrifying and fun at the same time. Maybe they can “visit” the CBC or, I don’t know, say Conservative MP Blake Richards.

When he gets going on #OccupyVancouver, Sun columnist Pete McMartin sure can write: ”Quixote-like”, “remora-like”, “exhorted”, “juxtaposition”! With the dry, cool wit like that, I could be an action hero. No, but seriously…the word is quixotic, not “Quixote-like”.

Keeping up appearances: Surrey’s top 10 most wanted suspects. I’m not an expert on fetal-alcohol syndrome, but holy jesus…

NPA Flyer photo flap. “Filipino-Canadian man files complaint after photographs of his daughter and niece were used in an NPA campaign flyer without permission”. The most insidious thing, I suspect, is that they probably just assumed that because he was Filipino he would never find out.

NPA launches propaganda campaign, gets 77 Likes on Facebook: Take Back Vancouver. Take it back from who exactly, the people we elected? By electing different people? So then we can take back Vancouver again in another 3 years? Unless…wait. Are you guys insinuating that you’re going to take it by force?

Where the Buffalo Roam: Getting Elected is Easy Part Three.

At this point, following the Lamarche campaign and writing an inspirational story about municipal politics would be like writing a biography of Charlie Manson and only mentioning the music.

Wow, Lamarche is like a small notch up from this guy running for mayor. Unfortunately, they’re both a notch up on this guy not running for Mayor.