by Sean Orr | Isolated on Iran: Another embarrassment for Canada on the world stage. I love it. It’s like Canada was this 90 pound weakling late to the puberty party and was sick of never being invited to the fight so it took a massive amount of steroids and worked out alone in its bedroom for years then showed up ready to brawl and everyone was like “go home Canada, we don’t do that anymore”.

Meanwhile, in light of the Senate Scandal, Harper from 2005 blasts Harper from 2013.

Spies like us: Exposure of Harper government spying should frighten “scandal-plagued” Tory pols. Oh, please. There’s been a CSIS agent wearing a black turtleneck and aviator glasses stationed on the parking lot roof that looks right into my apartment since the 2010 Olympics. I bring him coffee sometimes. His name is Wiesler.

Krokodil in B.C.? No evidence flesh-eating heroin substitute is on B.C. streets. Yeah, because Insite (because internet).

Public masturbation on the rise in Vancouver. Genius headline that finally puts to rest the age-old claim that Vancouver is No Fun City.

Society of spectacle: Carnival planned to help sell Kingsway condos. Housing in Vancouver isn’t a game. Oh wait! Yes it is: The Condo Game.

Hooray for Newfoundland! Canadians Rescue Shark Choking on Moose. “A couple yanks and it just came right out.”

If Vancity Buzz had sex with Hush Magazine, this locally produced music video would be their evil spawn.

Bonus: Rollerblading ninja grinds Granville Bridge rail.