by Sean Orr | The Future is Friendly Bright: Vancouver city council wants giant digital signs outside BC Place dimmed down. It couldn’t be because we nixed their little casino, could it? Maybe we could use the light from the signs to illuminate this very fact. I can see it now: a huge staging of ropes and scaffolding holding up a giant banner 10 feet away from the stadium that just reads “U Mad?”
Wall to Wall Action: Anatomy of a gang hit. Who needs shows like CSI or Criminal Minds when you have it in our own backyard! Thanks for the photos, Province! Can I request, like, some detailed schematics and maybe some video re-enactments?
Not so Tiny Tim: Tim’s size shift enables greater consumption with clear conscience. That’s assuming you have a clear conscience while drinking Tim Horton’s in the first place.
Oh Canada: Vancouver police searching for bronze beaver. It is not yet known if this is in fact a publicity stunt by Douglas Coupland for Souvenir of Canada 7.
Head of the Class: B.C. teachers seeking 15 per cent pay hike over three years. Cue the chorus of whining talking heads…
…who are almost always wrong: Tough drug law has led ecstasy cooks to use more toxic ingredients. In a way, this is probably fine with Harper. His god tells him to hate people who use drugs, like, if they are going to die “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population”. -Dickens
I’m not an Eskimo, but I do eat a lot of fish: 12th & Cambie: Chu chuckles. If you read the whole column, you’d find that Douglas Coupland will be the keynote speaker at the first inaugural Cities Summit hosted by Mayor Gregor Robertson. He’ll be speaking in front of his 8-bit Orca, constantly reminding everyone that he is a genius. “Dreams don’t come true. Dreams die. Dreams get compromised. Dreams end up dealing meth in a booth at the back of the Olive Garden. Dreams choke to death on bay leaves. Dreams get spleen cancer.”
Because, after all, Vancouver is a Land of Destiny. We built this city on boosterism.
SOPA, so good. News for Youse: the Great Internet Blackout of 2012 leaves students stymied over Wikipedia’s soap-hating ways.
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Hey Sean, you do realize that the pavco development and casino is going ahead don’t you? The only thing that was voted down was an expansion of 600 more slot machines, so I’m not really sure what you and some paid protesters from other casino’s nixed exactly. And don’t worry, by the time the development is complete you and your bretheren will by screaming out for some other local social injustice that will be funded by guess what? thats right, those 600 more slot machines and gambling tables. And holy cow you have an infatuation with Coupland maybe you should just have sex with him already so you can move on.