AdFreak is a great site for marketers and adsacks to stay ahead of the water cooler curve of what’s new in their immensely bizarre world. Sometimes, however, they go off the reservation. Their take on this Campari advertisement is a case in point.

Yeah, these self-absorbed scenesters are in no hurry at the local hotspot. They can wait forever for the camera to flash and for those cocktails suspended in mid-air to spill on the floor. The tinkly ambient music, so annoying in other ads, fits perfectly here, lending the tableaux an extra icy aural dimension. Best of all, by standing completely still, these jerk-wad Euro-trash hipsters are sitting ducks for crazed gunmen who might want to mow them all down. C’mon, gunmen…those tools are just standing there!

Unnecessary, sure, but I suppose if I had to view ads like that every damn day, 100 times a day, my fantasies would get the better of me, too.