Mystery chef “Jacques La Merde” (an obvious nom de cuisine) has a fascinating Instagram account detailing his elaborate platings/presentations of junk food. Each dish is paired with an ALL-CAPS explanation with some killer quotes. For example: “TOO MUCH FERNET AFTER SERVICE LAST NIGHT !!!! HANDS SO SHAKEY I DROPPED MY FAVE TWEEZERS IN THE NITROGEN AND THEY SHATTERED EVRYWHERE.” The dish above sees Dole Arugula, SPAM Torchon with Fuzzy Peaches, White Cheese Balls and Nuts. Check out several others below:

“Microwaved Spicy Beef ‘n Bean Burrito, Beef Jerky, Wishbone Caesar Crema, Lemon Lime Gatorade spheres and Zesty Cheese Doritos Soil.”

“Hawaiian Bagel Bites, Cheetos, Baby Carrot + Ranch Purée, Small Vegetables and Chipotle.”

“Imitation crabmeat, complimented by Saucisse Vienna, Creamed Style Corn, BBQ potato chips, cocktail sauce, Old Bay and Curly Parsley”

“Jimmy Dean Sausage w/ Canned Spring Veg, French’s, Fritos Hoops + Pistachio Soil. Palate cleansing shot of fermented Lake Michigan Water W/Nutritional Yeast Rim.”

“Raspberry Poptart Parfait W/ Vanilla Snackpack + Grape Crush Scented Gel and Enhanced W/ Mike N Ikes, Cry Babies and Fruity Mentos.”

TAKE ANOTHER BREAK