Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

And just like that the world turns the corner. All news is good news. We are winning. Facebook has banned QAnon across its platforms, Stephen Miller has Covid, the gay community is beautifully reclaiming #ProudBoys on Twitter, BC is once again bending the curve, cruise ships are being dismantled for scrap, Pope Francis straight up said capitalism has failed in the pandemic and people are finally seeing past the neoliberal veneer and into the future. Break out the champagne, y’all!

I mean, all of a sudden we’ve got our Mayor straight up admitting he’s failing all the time, the city addressing the no pets policy in rentals, calls for $30 million in emergency funds for homeless amid COVID-19 (bUt hOw wIlL wE pAy fOr iT), a billion-dollar SRO acquisition strategy and we are actually considering temporary homeless camps for Vancouver city hall campus. Like, I suggested that as a joke and now it’s happening!

Then you’ve got ideas being floated by the NDP like free transit for 12 and under, decriminalizing illicit drugs, more doctors, more stability for gig economy workers, the collection of race-based data, a continued “rent freeze” and um, hello, a cool one thousand dollarydoos in our pockets!

But seriously, ideas once thought to be unthinkable are now inevitable. We need to keep envisioning a post-scarcity world based on mutual aid and respect for all. These might seem like small concessions but I want to believe that we’re winning.

Next up: Reinstate the eviction ban for the remainder of the pandemic, cancel/forgive rent debts accrued during the pandemic, institute a progressive tax, and launch vacancy control for all renters.

And then there’s the BC Liberals. I guess nobody told Andrew Wilkinson that people are beginning to see through their free-market fundamentalist, Fraser Institute cuckholding nonsense. ‘Criminalization 101’: BC Liberals’ Tough Talk on Homelessness Is Heartless and Uninformed, Say Advocates. Only someone down 18 points in the polls (yeah yeah, I know) would resort to this desperate “its not safe outside because of homeless people and drugs” fearmongering.

The nerve of people like Sam Sullivan politicizing the overdose crisis when they were the ones who set up all the conditions necessary for it to happen.

The nerve of these guys using ICBC as their own personal slush fund then calling for it to be privatized: BC Liberals vow to end ICBC monopoly, open up market if elected. The Liberals had three terms to tackle the issue of ICBC but drove it off a cliff instead. Did he make this announcement at a fucking Land Rover dealership or what?

Of course, they’re going to dangle massive infrastructure porn like the Massey Bridge in front of shovel-horny voters, but don’t forget that they actually suck at it. The convention centre expansion, BC Place and the LNG prosperity fund to name just a few:

Asking the BC Liberals to build infrastructure without engaging in widespread corruption is like asking your plumber to fix your dryer.

They don’t know how.#bcpoli #bcvotes

— Tim Ell (@Tim_Ell) October 5, 2020

There’s nothing else left but to fucking cheat, I guess: BC Liberals Ran 47 Misleading Facebook Ads Using Digitally-Altered Image of a Local Newspaper. Although to be fair there is basically no difference between a Province front page and a BC Liberal advertisement.

But hey! Back to the good news. Nelia won a stay of eviction until the 14th of October, allowing her and her husband Wilfredo to peacefully transition to moving to a new home: Fundraiser launched for Vancouver tenants on brink of ‘renoviction’. Tenant power!

Conservatives threatening us with a good time again! There is a socialist coup unfolding in Canada, and we taxpayers are funding it. Aw, the conservative snowflakes are quaking in their boots! It’s okay, we’ll provide a safe space for you guys.

OK, who am I kidding? I knew I couldn’t keep this up. The world is fucking awful and Vancouver is full of terrible people. Long lines for low-priced meals lead to complaints about disorder from downtown neighbours. What went wrong in your life that you complain about poor people lining up for food? Seriously, who hurt you?

Delete your Hootsuite: 2 Hootsuite Employees Fired For Bravely Leaking Secret $500M Contract with ICE. On the bright side, the clap-back on Hootsuite’s tone deaf “empathy is everything” tweet is glorious. Your entire business model is helping people harness the power of social media. How did you not see this coming?

Breaking: White people are the worst: Indigenous designers in B.C. outraged over claims of authenticity by non-Indigenous competitor.

Exhibit B: Joyce Echaquan’s widower blames systemic racism in Quebec hospital for wife’s death. This is absolutely heart-wrenching. We must do better.

RIP: Another old Vancouver corner store under threat from redevelopment.

Vancouver would be cooler if: Geneva adopts what’s believed to be the highest minimum wage in the world, at $25 an hour.

Alberta of the day: Edmonton ‘horse girl’ jumps into pages of Ripley’s Believe It or Not!

It’s not like 2020 can get any worse: Egypt opens ancient mummy sarcophagus sealed 2,500 years ago.