As much as it’s easy to appreciate the allure of Action Bronson’s Fuck, That’s Delicious series – wherein one super fried dude gobbles up amazing food prepared by other people – it’s easier still to wonder if perhaps there’s something more to the genre of stoner food TV.

Whether you smoke weed or not, it’s well established that there’s a special relationship between marijuana and food that transcends simple and subjective deliciousness. The association is defined by impulse, imagination, inspiration, foraging, discovery, experimentation, pleasure, joy — all things that make captivating television. What’s missing, of course, is all the ego, stress, frustration and failure of a competitive food show. That stuff is riveting too, just maybe not for stoners.

So why is Iron Chef Canada premiering on October 17th, the same day that marijuana finally becomes legal in Canada, when a full hour of this imaginary show – Stoner Chef’s Table – would be so much more appropriate?

That’s obviously a rhetorical question as the “show” (see below) is just a gag, but I’d watch the hell out of it if it were genuine, for the real art involved in the preparation of stoner food is never found in the pages of Larousse or in the culinary traditions of any particular culture (or even at a restaurant concept designed to attract stoners), but rather in the back of your kitchen cupboards, fridge and freezer at 2am.

Imagine the contents of that black box. Now get cooking…