by Sean Orr | Premier makes pouty face: Christy Clark says she’s “not happy” with executive bonuses at BC Ferries. Not as unhappy as she would be if she was the leader of the opposition and the NDP was in charge. She’d be nailing them to the stake in the name of “reducing government excess”. Christy? More like Hypocritsty. Get it? Sorry, that was terrible.

Speaking of excess: Tsawwassen ferry terminal sale to Kinder Morgan recommended. And I counter-propose a massive, amusement park slide greased up with fresh bitumen that spans the Georgia Strait. Wheeee!

Chilliwack family wary after dog is brutally beaten, dumped on driveway when it escapes yard. Yeah, “wary” is a good word for it.

Remember the 2.9 million dollar McDonalds coffee lawsuit? It turns out there was more to the story.

Don’t make liquor laws too lax: Vancouver police. “Police concerned changes could lead to binge drinking, greater social problems and more trouble for law enforcement officers”. Yeah, because shutting down the liquor stores during the Stanley Cup playoffs worked out pretty well for you guys, eh?

I went to Edmonton and all I got was an oil spill: Another Canadian train derails, enflaming controversy over dangers of transporting crude. Yeah, I mean, the environment and stuff, but the real tragedy here is that because of the detour my my band had to forego the waterslides at the West Edmonton Mall.

Also, on our drive we saw Naheed Nenshi campaigning right next to where the Bow River breached. Smart guy. Why Didn’t Calgary Elect Larry Heather for Mayor.

Meanwhile, our guitarist, who had to sell his Kanye ticket to go on tour, still gets to see Kanye: The truth about Kanye West’s Vancouver concert cancellation. Oh man, that totally ruins my vision of a scared but exhilarated meth-head trying to find somewhere to stash a massive tour bus somewhere in Ballard, WA.