On Defending Canadian Identity And The Subtle Arts Of Gentrification

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by Sean Orr | Via the CBC: Trudeau government revoking citizenship at much higher rate than Conservatives. “‘A Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian,’ Trudeau said in a leaders’ debate three weeks before storming to victory”. Yes, and a politician is a politician is a politician. Can we all just go ahead elect Waldo as supreme global leader already?

Because we only have ourselves to blame: CBC-Angus Reid Institute poll: Canadians want minorities to do more to ‘fit in’. And by “fit in” we mean adopt our fragile national mythos based on corporate constructs like Tim Hortons and Hudson’s Bay blankets.

And baseball… Forget the beer can, why weren’t the Jays fans yelling racial slurs kicked out? Because hey, at least we’re not called the Indians, amiright?

Meanwhile, on the much more tolerant and accepting West Coast of British Columbia front, someone has started a KKK recruitment drive. Hedy Fry was right the whole time!

Liberals given plan to roll First Nations education money out faster, but decided not to. “We have children suffering under a system that is an absolute failure. Everybody knows it.” Yup. Wreck the system. Burn it to the ground.

Blatant attempt to win favour of the day: Alberta-based oil company donates $9.5 million in land for Vancouver native youth centre. ‘Now can we build the pipeline, please?’

The Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation wants you to talk housing. Yes, that’s exactly what we need! More talk! Apparently they’ve only received 80 responses from BC to its housing survey so make sure you tell them how they precipitated the crisis by allowing sub-prime mortgage lenders to exist!

Clearly we need more bureaucracy: Kelowna’s new ‘homeless advisor’ needs three years to form strategy. Maybe she should just go watch I, Daniel Blake at VIFF on Friday to see how red tape kills people.

Vancouver Mural Festival is caught up in gentrification. Okay, pardon my naivety here, but isn’t this just saying some art is bad and some art is ok? Like, no artist would flinch at accepting $25,000 from RBC, so why is decorating some buildings so much different?

In a short amount of time large scale street art murals, alongside food trucks and craft breweries, have become the prototypal cultural imprints of this emerging class. When viewed against the backdrop of the economic and cultural forces transforming the neighbourhoods north of Main Street and Broadway, the Vancouver Mural Festival fits comfortably within a pattern of municipally-led gentrification and tech redevelopment.

Whoa wait a second there… Breweries are displacing working class jobs? Did they forget about Brewery Creek? Also, couldn’t it be argued that most tech jobs are working class jobs?

Contemporary Art and Derivative Fascisms:

In practice though, art industries trigger trickle-up effects which are then flushed sideways into tax havens. Art’s economies divert investments from sustainable job creation, education, and research and externalize social cost and risk. They bleach neighborhoods, underpay, overrate, and peddle excruciating baloney.

So all art is bad and instead of gentrification it’s just called capitalism?

And yet, the flip-side of this moral relativism – the negation of the negation – is present in this: Time to loosen up street vending bylaws.

By contrast, in the downtown eastside, the sidewalks are full people selling old sweatshirts, handmade bracelets and stereos of questionable origin spread out on a blanket in front of them. Bylaw officers don’t crack down on this kind of activity in the neighbourhood, yet in ritzier parts of town, entrepreneurs are slapped with a hefty fine for selling anything without a permit.

Or, the equivalent of saying, “But teacher, those kids can do it, why can’t I?”

I mean, don’t get me wrong, there is something appealing about burning rich people’s cars

Or you know, posing as this couple’s slave and emptying their apartment of all its contents: WANTED: Personal Assistant for professional working couple. Because I assume this will get taken down due to a torrent of online backlash I’ve copy and pasted some of their demands:

We’re looking for someone who:

1) Is highly organized, detail-oriented, and serious about organization and cleanliness. You probably have done event planning or bookkeeping because you’re good at logistics and details, and you like to write lists and work from a checklist at all times.

2) Enjoys working alone most of the time, and with people some of the time. The work you’ll be doing is typically alone. If you’re the type of person who likes to chit-chat with people and friends a lot, this probably isn’t right for you.

3) Has a dependable car, or access to car share services. Shopping and errands are key here.

4) Lives within 20 minutes of Downtown Vancouver.

5) Is “tech savvy” and understands the Mac environment (nothing advanced, but you must know things like Office, Google Docs, scheduling, email, ordering things online, etc.)

6) Can do light food washing and preparation (nothing fancy, but I eat a lot of fresh foods, and need them selected, washed, and prepared).

7) Is dependable (I’m talking about VERY dependable… not the “This usually doesn’t happen, but it happened again” type). I would prefer if you were that person in grade school that got the award when moving on to middle school for perfect attendance in every grade…

8) Doesn’t take things personally, have feelings hurt easily or get offended at all. Stays objective and likes to always use logic to make decisions.

9) Is cool and relaxed, but always pushing to get things done. It’s important that you like to take responsibility, and your main focus is always delivering results.

Next time I hear a millennial whine about precarious labour I’ll just point them to that.

Also this: Sorry Feminists, But If The Wage Gap Exists, How Do Women Afford All Those Nice Soaps?

Capitalist scum of the day: Cineplex hikes ticket prices in pursuit of record profits, blames its low-waged workers.

Schadenfreude of the day: Tsawwassen Mills shoppers trapped for up to 4 hours in parking lot chaos.

GoFundMe of the day: OD Prevention in the DTES.

Music: Watch Japandroids Perform New Music at First Show in Three Years.

Bonus: Arthritic rooster gets around with special orthopedic shoes.

There is 1 comment

  1. But but but scout magazine readers are total proponents of gentrification!!!1 Seriously, people who complain about gentrification are the same ones harping on about the lack of housing in this city but also at the same time don’t want increased density. Vancouver want’s to be a global city but we have single family housing directly across the street from City Hall (this is not something found in global cities).

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