On Boys Holding Sharks and the Crushing Banality of Our Dystopian Hellworld

Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

The world is burning and billionaires are having a dick measuring space race. Our province is on fire, thousands of people are dying preventable overdose deaths, workers can’t afford to live here, racists are emboldened, our hospitals and ambulance services are completely overwhelmed and here in Vancouver this is what captures the ire of the gentry: Vancouver torpedoes proposed location for controversial ‘boy holding shark’ statue. God forbid we take risks and be daring. God forbid we do something that makes us think. God forbid my property values are affected by “a meditation on the relationship between the fate of the oceans and human health” as the ocean is literally on fire. We are the worst.

Anywhere else and the streets would be full of people demanding answers: ‘The hospital was a war zone’: Metro Vancouver paramedic sheds light on conditions during B.C. heat wave. Remember when we shut down so we didn’t overwhelm our hospitals? Remember when the government mobilized with unprecedented swiftness to prevent unnecessary deaths in a pandemic? So why then did it happen here? Why did we leave it all up to personal responsibility?

Meanwhile, our council dithers and bickers, constantly calling for points of order, sending reports back to staff, while astroturf groups hijack meetings to complain about shadows and parking: Vancouver council breaks record in 2020 for hours logged in meetings. The fact that none of them can figure out how to get better wifi certainly doesn’t help.

‘More concern for the dog than for the human’s life that was lost’. They threw a parade. For the dog. That’s how much we value Indigenous lives.

More than 160 unmarked graves confirmed near residential school on Penelakut Island. “It is readily acknowledged that Indian children lose their natural resistance to illness by habitating so closely in these schools, and that they die at a much higher rate than in their villages. But this alone does not justify a change in the policy of this Department, which is geared towards the final solution of our Indian Problem.” – Duncan Campbell Scott.

Meanwhile: RCMP Veterans’ Association post says ‘get on with life,’ move on from residential schools. I’m sure you’ll be saying that when we are tearing down the last cursed foundation of your rotten organization.

Next governor general’s inability to speak French leaves francophone community conflicted. It’s absolutely unacceptable that you don’t now both languages of the colonizers that taught you to forget your own.

Mind your own fucking business, Matt:

The only thing the media is getting wrong about this is that they call them “schools”.

Homeless man run over, pepper sprayed in targeted attack, Nanaimo RCMP say Every poor hating comment on the Province’s Facebook page, every glorifying media story about homeless encampments, every NIMBY who speaks against supportive housing, every BIA who hires private security to harass people — this is on you.

Reminder:

An injury to one is an injury to all: Multiple deaths reported after ‘catastrophic’ crane collapse in Kelowna. I hope the families of these subcontractors are all compensated.

The labour party can’t even negotiate contracts in its own offices: Workers in NDP MLAs’ Offices Vote to Strike. A boss is a boss is a boss is a boss is a boss.

Check out this new community fridge in East Vancouver. This is absolutely awesome, but to see MLAs praising this when their failure to provide basic necessities is the reason we need community fridges in the first place is pretty fucking rich.

Tell me you’re a square without telling me you’re a square: Daphne Bramham: When it comes to drug policy, politicians aren’t following the evidence. God forbid we self-medicate from the crushing banality of our dystopian neoliberal hellworld.

‘Crawl back to Surrey’: Vancouver surgeon’s comments under scrutiny. Unfortunately this racism and classism is rife in the medical profession.

Skytrain is a vehicle for property speculation. Change my mind: Property sales near proposed Surrey-to-Langley SkyTrain corridor higher than in surrounding areas.

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And the Abbotsford AHL team will be called … the Canucks!. Now, I know this isn’t the biggest deal in the world but doesn’t this just epitomize our collective lack of imagination? It’s right on par with writing petitions against public art. It’s so lazy it’s perfect and exactly what we deserve.

Ugh, can we not? ‘Vangroovy’: Vancouverites share what they think the city’s nickname should be.

But if you insist, can our nickname be Bog Full of Dog Turds? Opinion: You should never swim in Trout Lake, a literal peat bog full of dog turds.

Petition: Open Prospect Point to Food Trucks! The villains here would rather stomp their feet and blame cyclists then make an ounce of effort.

Palette cleanser: After 10 days of hiccups, Brazil’s Bolsonaro may need surgery. Maybe an Indigenous person just needs to sneak up behind him and say “boo”.

Oh, for fucks sakes: Moon wobble to bring surge in coastal flooding in 2030s, NASA study predicts.

Bonus: ‘Whitey On The Moon’: Gil Scott-Heron’s Poem Resonates In 2021 As Billionaires Race To Space.

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