Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

I hate being right: B.C. hits highest ever count for active COVID-19 cases after confirming 236 new infections. Sure, hospitalizations are down. Great. But this was all by design. This is completely acceptable. I mean, it’s not the full blown Midsommar eugenics that Sweden is doing but this is the direct result of putting profits over people. That may sound like a reductionist and sophomoric take but there’s no other way around it. Billionaires are making a killing during this pandemic (not sorry for the pun), the super rich party it up and the recession is already over for the wealthy while the working class continues to bear the brunt of it.

The elites are shaming us for “abusing” CERB which – last time I checked – worked out to about $12.50 an hour. Meanwhile, B.C.’s richest billionaire, Jim Pattison, cancels hazard pay for his workers and sees his net worth explode to $1.6 billion in the 5 months since the shutdown began. If there is any silver lining to all this, is that the veil has been lifted. What would a re-opening plan look like which emphasized the social realm instead of the economic? What if we shouldn’t return to normal? The life you thought you were going to have is gone:

The destabilizing effect of this pandemic has laid bare the economic inequality on which our society functions. Class disparity, the resistance to universal income, systemic racism, the militarization of the police and the rhetoric of the current political climate are not the result of the pandemic; they are the endgame of capitalism. We’ve merely paused the machine long enough to see them clearly.

I repeat. It’s all by design. Quick! Look at this beach full of yutes! Back to work you plebs! Massive crowds captured at Vancouver’s Wreck Beach on the weekend. Look, I’m usually first to make fun of people who go to Wreck Beach, but this province is about to send thousands of kids back to school. So what’s with the mixed messages?

And what’s with this?

Is it because sending kids back to school is about freeing up their parents so they can increase productivity and therefore profits for the rich? You mean it’s not at all about education? Is it because we can’t have Gen Z sitting at home reading Teen Vogue articles? Is it because the BC government can’t reconcile the contradictions inherent in telling young people that working in close quarters to make someone else rich is perfectly fine but the same behaviour for recreation is not?

Or is it because we still think young people can’t get sick? Coronavirus: What one of the youngest patients in a B.C. ICU wants you to know.

Or is it just easer to enlist the likes of Seth “I just realized Israel was bad” Rogen to tell kids to stay home and smoke weed than offering a tangible alternative? You know, like a real ban on evictions and real rent relief. Hell, even converting CERB to some sort of permanent basic income.

Of course, shaming people probably sells more newspapers: B.C. boasts the highest percentage of “inconsistent” rule followers when it comes to halting the spread of COVID-19.

All this being said, why is anyone going to a private party indoors right now? Crowded beaches may be frustrating to see, but it’s private parties B.C. is most worried about. This seems like a weirdly unintentional insight into the NDP psyche: “We have, as you know, a history of respect for people’s homes. A person’s home is their castle, they used to say… We want to be respectful of that,” — Adrian Dix. Mmmkay.

And why the fuck is anyone going to Granville Street? I mean at all, ever: Late-night street party on Granville strip prompts response from Vancouver police. Let me tell you, it’s really hard to want a better society for people while simultaneously hating most of society.

So now, imagine for a second, if you will, that you’re Jon Stovell, multimillionaire president & CEO of Reliance Properties and notorious renovicter. You see these kids having parties and you immediately think it’s a conspiracy by millennials to genocide boomers because that’s the only way they will ever be able to own a house:

Have millennials finally figured out how to kill all the boomers? Go to a party, hug your parents, get the house. #covid19bc

— Jon Stovell (@JonStovell) August 18, 2020

How absolutely deranged and antisocial do you have to be to not only downplay COVID but to so completely misrepresent the material conditions of a runaway housing market and its devastation of a generation. Tell me again that landlords are people. Tell me again that the market will fix this crisis.

We will not get housing as a human right until we stop treating housing as a commodity: Big money bets big on B.C. rental: ‘Good news’ for investors, ‘worst fears’ for residents. Buying back apartments when they come up for sale is a great idea but the whole thing could be avoided if the government tied rent to the unit. You know, if they had a fucking spine.

Then again, this is a province that would rather jail someone for selling .02 grams of heroin and fentanyl despite no evidence that longer sentences reduced drug use or influenced the black market: Ian Mulgrew: Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? “Effective housing, social and drug policies would have been a far more responsible response to the crisis than righteous condemnation…”

“We have normalized overdoses but we still haven’t normalized drug users” — Karen Ward. COVID-19 shelter has no COVID patients, but is a refuge to homeless, addicted and pregnant people. “Nearly all of the 60 people who have been at the Abbotsford motel have now gone on some type of drug replacement therapy. Not only does that ensure better health and stability, but it means they aren’t committing crimes to support their habits…” Wow, what a concept.

Meanwhile, someone who totally isn’t my friend made a counter-petition to that Strathcona homeowner ‘tax resistance’ petition: Strathcona Residents Against Tax Evasion and Nimbyism.

As owners of homes that are worth millions of dollars, Strathcona homeowners must commit to paying their property taxes. In the climate of a global pandemic, the wealthy must do their duty and redistribute their income. This is not a time to hoard wealth.

Couldn’t have written it better myself…

Downtown Vancouver sees huge spike in garbage, needles and graffiti. I think you mean Downtown Vancouver sees huge spike in pearl clutching.

Maybe we could afford to clean up our city if we defunded the VPD: Cyclist violently arrested by VPD near Commercial Drive: video. They ran over a guy. For not wearing a helmet. Because wearing a helmet is essential. In case someone ever runs you over.

We don’t have a racism problem in Canada: Wet’suwet’en Cabin Destroyed By Arsonists.

Nearly 13,000 Americans have tried to enter Canada since March. That’s it?

Where are these guys when you need them? Toronto anti-maskers say Cherry Beach chainsaw guys destroyed their DJ booth.

Meanwhile in Alberta: ‘God will protect us’: Alberta prayer event now linked to at least 29 COVID-19 cases.

Anyone have Firenado on their 2020 dystopian bingo card? National Weather Service issues America’s first-ever warning for a fire tornado.

How about this? Death Valley reaches 130 degrees, hottest temperature in U.S. in at least 107 years.

Bonus: Kent Monkman’s Work Must Be Seen.