Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

Remember when I said we reopened too soon? We reopened too soon. I know our 62 cases over the weekend pales in comparison to Florida’s whopping 15,000 cases in one day, but I just can’t take another lockdown. No. Nope. Absolutely not. No way. I’ve drank all of the boxed wine and watched every TV show ever made.

Masks indoors. Physical distance. No parties. We can’t go back inside: Two private Canada Day parties source of Kelowna, B.C. outbreak. Imagine wanting to celebrate your genocidal nation so badly that you enthusiastically risk infection with a potentiaally fatal virus that has no cure? I mean, of course it’s Kelownafornia.

Also, why the hell are we letting a spin studio operate? And why are we letting Cactus Clubs operate…you know, like…just in general?

Wait, and we’re still allowing flights from the US? COVID-19 cases identified on flights to YVR from Dallas, San Francisco, Montreal, Kelowna. So let me get this straight. We never banned air travel from the plague states of America? Next you’re going to tell me that Verbal Kint was Keyser Söze the whole time.

So when they said the border was closed it’s just closed to cars. Unless of course, you happen to be driving straight through to Alaska via all of our most popular tourist attractions: Canada, U.S. agree to keep borders closed another 30 days: sources. “Sources say both governments are on the same page with extending the border restriction measures for another month.” Because that’s the only way it would happen lest Trudeau suddenly grew a backbone. I guess he was too busy rehearsing his apology.

Why do we continue to allow religious organisations to run any of our health care services? Ninth death at Holy Family Hospital long-term care home in Vancouver.

B.C. expecting $12.5B deficit due to coronavirus. Good. Most people agree that this real leadership. Spending money to support the public good is vital to a healthy society and thriving economy. Flatten the myth. Tax the rich. Now do opioids and rent relief.

Vancouver Park Board set to vote on ending ban on camping in city’s green spaces. Take a drink in an approved drinking zone for every comment that says “gee, I’d love to camp in a park this summer,” as if being homeless was some fun fucking adventure that people choose to engage in for kicks.

Dan Fumano: Collegiality wearing thin at Vancouver’s city council meetings.

Voters in every municipality should, at least occasionally, watch and judge for themselves how different council members act in good faith and conduct the city’s business efficiently — or not.

That’s a ‘no’ from me, dog. This pandemic has already been a hair-triggered rage fest for me. I don’t need to watch the spouses of cops bullshit their way out of ending street checks against BIPOC.

Since I guess it’s still on the table, here’s a handy tool that may or may not begin the process of defunding the VPD and reinvesting in communities because for some reason democracy is terrible and council doesn’t set the police budget or have any say in VPD operations. Oh, and certain councillors don’t understand how letter-writing campaigns work.

Ian Robertson: Planning that does not include people in its context, but instead sees only buildings, lays clear its biases. I love this heartwarming story of a guy walking around his neighbourhood hunting shadows with his little protractor and making 3D models all so he can convince people that $950 for a 400 sqft closet to live in is a good idea.

Speaking of shadows looming over our cityscape, this one is in the form of migrant child in a cage: Amazon poised to be largest corporate office tenant in downtown Vancouver. Imagine being this excited about welcoming the single most grievous example of predatory and exploitive capitalism the world has ever known! I can’t wait for YIMBYs to use this as an excuse to build even more shitty towers.

Related: Wasteful, damaging and outmoded: is it time to stop building skyscrapers?. Wait, so giant phallic monuments to ego and greed are a bad thing?

Vancouver Is Failing on ‘City of Reconciliation’ Claim, Says Its Indigenous Committee. TIL that we have an Indigenous Committee.

Canada’s largest Indigenous police force has never shot anyone dead. “The key difference from urban, non-Indigenous policing, insiders and observers say, is the relationship building between officers and the people they serve.” Wow, what a fucking concept!

Ontario Police Chiefs Demand Singh Apologize For Remarks On Rideau Hall Arrest. Imagine having the audacity to demand a brown man apologize for pointing out the truth. You can 100% guarantee this guy would be dead if he had been a person of colour.

Deep dive: QAnon’s Madness Is Turning Canadians Into Potential Assassins

Then there’s whatever is going on in Nanaimo:

Here’s another rare sight: Photographers snag gorgeous photos of rare comet over B.C.. Is it just me or does Neowise sound like a new Vancouver-based vodka soda company?

You love to see it: The rhea-sistance: bird pecks Bolsonaro during coronavirus quarantine. That headline is *chef’s kiss*.

Aaaaand just because 2020 ain’t done yet: heat dome, motherfuckers! Massive heat dome forecast to swell over much of Lower 48 within a week.

But as bad as this year has been, it’s no 536: 536 AD — the worst year in history.