Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

Pipeline protesters block access to Swartz Bay ferry terminal in support of Wet’suwet’en Nation hereditary chiefs. First, civil disobedience is literally the only thing that gets results. It’s why we have weekends. It’s why we have pride parades. It’s why women are allowed to vote. This was done on Martin Luther King Day, who was a radical that we have since sterilized. All y’all saying that the protesters message was lost by inconveniencing “every day folks” are utterly missing the point and sound like the white moderates that MLK railed against.

Besides, they already countered that entire point before they made it — ahem, Mike Smyth.”We apologize for the inconvenience, but people have to remember that the Wet’suwet’en are being excluded from their own land right now. That’s more than an inconvenience.”

Second, lot’s of comments on The Province (I know…) saying that Wet’suwet’en isn’t a band but rather a corporation. Like, if that’s true then why are you favouring the corporate rights of one company over the other? If that’s true they would win a court injunction. Imagine thinking an Indigenous nation forced to incorporate under colonialist economic system is a good reason to characterize it as an astroturf group. Stop reading Rebel News.

No, they aren’t criminals. Yes, they are doing this for everyone. Fuck Horgan for not meeting with the hereditary chiefs. Because while he may have gotten smarter about how he talks about Indigenous rights, the bottom line stays the same. The Colonizer Always Comes Out.

Good on the BC Greens. Sans Andrew Weaver. And good on Montreal.

The king of bad boomer takes is back: Rex Murphy: We’re freezing! Isn’t it great? The carbon tax must be working! How the fuck do we keep giving industry shills who refuse to understand that a warming arctic displaces the polar vortex actual paper to write on? You’d expect a sophomoric take like “global warming is a hoax because it’s cold outside today where I live” to manifest on 4Chan or some dark corner of Reddit, not in a national newspaper.

Wishful thinking: Rex Murphy parachuted into Australian wildfires to deny climate change.

Postmedia columnist and professional old man Rex Murphy has been parachuted into Australia’s massive forest where support for denying climate change and doing nothing about it has been waning.

“It was cold once in Canada, and yet we have a carbon tax,” said Murphy who didn’t stop talking for the entire 23 hour flight from Canada to Australia. “And the government is placing a levy on all Canadians for being cold. Thanks, Justin. Thanks, Greta.”

Only In Canada: Why No One Knows Who Owns B.C. House Where Royals Stayed. Don’t worry, wealthy property owners and money launderers! Canadian politicians of all stripes have your back.

Let me guess, they’re exempt from the foreign buyers tax… Meghan Markle, Prince Harry reportedly eyeing Kitsilano mansion. Can’t you already picture them protesting bike lanes and school taxes and going to Dine Out at Fable Kitchen and tipping 5%?

St. Paul’s development may lead to displacement of low-income residents, Swanson says. Sober and concrete ways to prevent displacement and some antisocial neckbeard comments: “House hobos = endless supply of hobos.” Ugh.

Council to decide on Lululemon’s new head office next week. If they stretch this building any higher its  butt cheeks will start showing.

E-scooters could hit some B.C. streets by summer. When I was recently zipping around Salt Lake City I thought to myself, “why doesn’t Vancouver have these?” And then I remembered all the entitled little shits that would quickly ruin it for everyone else.

Hooray: Jumbo Glacier Resort is dead. Jumbo Wild forever!

RIP: Gordon Smith, beloved and influential Canadian artist, dies at 100.

Sounds familiar: Why Manhattan’s Skyscrapers Are Empty. “In New York City, 80,000 people sleep in homeless shelters or on the streets while nearly half of the luxury condos that have come on the market in Manhattan in the last five years (average price $3.77 million) are unsold.”