Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

It’s not magic: A prescription for improving life in the Downtown Eastside. Really basic stuff here that we should’ve done years ago. I mean, Raise the Rates has existed for a fucking decade. Systemic change! Root causes! Decriminalize poverty! Have I said this enough bloody times? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills…

A good first step: B.C. NDP members contradict the NDP solicitor general with unanimous push to decriminalize drugs.

That brings me to the recent installation of a giant, shining, spinning, fuck you to Vancouverites: Finally: That massive spinning chandelier is being installed under the Granville Bridge. The high profile developer says this reproduction 200-year-old French “chandelier will quickly become an urban landmark, turning a dark under-bridge into a civic event and a focal point, providing an additional layer of depth to the streetscape and the community…” You know what else happened in France 200+ years ago? You know what else brought depth to the streetscape and the community? Hint, it starts with a “G” and ends in “uillotine”.

While it might not be the Robespierre level of direct action I’m dreaming of, it’s a start: Pretend to throw shoes at the frosty bridge scrotum.

Failing that of course, there’s always memes:

“To avoid future gaudy condo sales accessories masquerading as public art, just divert these Community Amenity Contributions towards non-market housing. And then let residents of future public housing commission the art they want to see next to their own homes”. – Dock Currie.

Indeed Patrick Condon echoes that statement here: Density and rental affordability. Cold-weather food. Yup. Like I said last week, “densifying already inflated land does jack shit for affordability.” Co-ops are a great land use for single-family neighbourhoods, as opposed to more developer-owned rentals. It’s a no brainer. Next.

How to get around the empty homes tax and illegal AirBnbs? Zone it as a hotel: Developer seeks City of Vancouver approval to add hotel use to Main Street residential project. “The hotel, if approved, would be operated through a partnership with Sonder Canada, a technology-based company that offers short-term rentals across North America and Europe…”

It sounds like AirBnB for rich people, although I’m more disappointed that this billion dollar We Work style start-up used one of my favourite neologisms, sonder. “The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s personal lack of awareness of it.” Ironically, it seems like most developers could use a bit of this profound realization…

Like, what fucking dimension are these people living in? Despite falling prices, it could still take 100 years to save for a down payment in Vancouver. And all the federal parties can think of is to prolong your debt slavery by offering extensions on sub-prime mortgages. Jesus…

But don’t worry, median households! In addition to being able to own a house in a century, Trudeau has created a new position in his cabinet for a ‘Minister of Middle Class Prosperity.’ What does a minister of middle class prosperity do? Mona Fortier on her new job.

“But what’s the definition? I mean, you hear differing definitions. Some people say it’s a median income — the median income is $70,000 a year for a household. How do you define middle class?”

“Well, I define the middle class where people feel that they can afford their way of life. They have quality of life. And they can … send their kids to play hockey or even have different activities.

It’s having the cost of living where you can do what you want with your family. So I think that it’s really important that we look at, how do we make our lives more affordable now?

And that’s, for me, something that we will be putting measures, and really putting efforts, with my colleagues, to have a strong economy.”

Meanwhile: Liberal appointed Minister of the Lower Class has to take bus to cabinet meetings.

Speaking of the bus: Kris Sims: TransLink CEO set to make a mint compared to counterparts. “That is more than the prime minister of Canada is paid. It’s between five and seven times more than the median total household income for people living in Vancouver”. And yet, most of those people will have disdain for the men and women who just want a piss break.

Bonus: ‘Dripping in the blood of six million Jews’: Nazi memorabilia pulled from Richmond auction.