Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

Mind your own business: Vancouver Has Been Transformed By Chinese Immigrants. Wherein the white milquetoast liberals at NPR casually imply that Chinese immigrants are responsible for $7 billion in laundered money when the bulk of the estimated inflows to Canada originated in the U.S. (followed by Northern Europe and Western Europe respectively). Estimates of inflows from Asia, including China, totalled only $0.8 billion in 2015.

The stupidity continues: “When you cross over the Granville Street Bridge that winds into downtown Vancouver, you’d be forgiven for thinking you’re in Hong Kong”. I would never forgive anyone for thinking that. First, because how are you that bad at geography, and second, because it sounds racist as fuck.

“10% of those who own real estate in Vancouver don’t live in Canada…” Right…so that means that all of those people automatically live in China? My god, who let this dumpster fire of an article get published?

Also, if you’re going to write an article about money laundering you should probably mention the fact that Alberta actually tops all Canadian provinces in money laundering. But then I guess that wouldn’t fit with your “immigrants have turned Vancouver into Hong Kong” narrative.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Murphy: Vancouver growth targets don’t add up. But that would mean we should stop giving developers height and density bonuses as incentives to build unaffordable rentals that most locals cannot afford. Heaven forbid!

Seriously, Global News? Social media ‘FOMO’ blamed for rising bankruptcy declarations in B.C.. Yeah, never mind the predatory lending by banks, the stagnating wages, the runaway housing market, and the skyrocketing cost of living. It’s those pesky iPhones!

Still happening: Vancouver’s rental market is shutting out its independent music scene. Kennedy Stewart said on my radio show that if Vancouver could have a publicly owned theatre then we should have publicly owned all ages music venues. Still waiting on that one…

There’s a gap in our mental health services. I have an idea that can work. I’m not going to read the comments on this one but I can guess that there are probably about 130 comments around the lines of “nice idea, but who’s going to pay for it”? Related meme.

Fled drug use, hit by car. Um, maybe someone should have taught her that cars are much more dangerous than someone using drugs. “We as adults are uncomfortable with the drug and criminal activity that’s happening, I can’t even fathom what the kids are feeling”. I think you mean, ‘We as parents have been taught to moralize the drug epidemic as a way to teach our children instead of actually teaching them about the root causes of addiction…’

Stop using my grandpa’s name, actor Kiefer Sutherland tells Doug Ford: “You, sir, are no Tommy Douglas” is the best Canadian insult ever.

Nail ’em: Victoria’s police chief issues ticket after driver flicks lit cigarette out window.