Tea & Two Slices is a long-running local news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown, deeply aware of his privilege.

They don’t call it the ‘missing middle’ for nothing: Vancouver fails to build any affordable market rental in 2018 for households making $30K to $50K.

Swanson’s motion also argues the city “now has the ability to zone for rental only, so we don’t need incentives for rental construction as a way of preventing condo construction,” but Stewart said it would be some time until the city used that power, likely along the incoming Millennium Line extension to Arbutus Street.

“I’d be worried about panic, using a new power,” he said, alluding to a lawsuit in New Westminster by property owners upset their rental units had been rezoned, diminishing their potential future value.

Wait, what? This isn’t a tungsten carbide drill. It’s a dumpster fire and someone just handed you a bucket of water!

Besides, the rental versus condo dichotomy in Vancouver housing debate is a straw man. It reminds me of one of Andy Yan’s money quotes:

“I enter a car dealership and there are 10 Ferraris, and I have a Honda budget. We aren’t producing enough Hondas.” — The Tao of Andy Yan.

Here’s another:

“There’s no magic bullet, but what’s needed is a thoughtful tool kit with two trays. One is affordable housing, which is about both supply and demand measures. And the other is economic activity, the fishing and hunting for companies and attracting them, and growing them here.”

Really, CTV? Real estate experts blame government policies for dismal March home sales. The people responsible for the runaway housing market are blaming the government for cutting into their profits…and you call them “experts”. WTF?

International Village mall for sale, could be redeveloped. It’s funny how we like to immortalize our failures: “International Village never lived up to its original concept, which was to be a luxury shopping centre for tenants such as Gucci and Chanel…” Just imagine the loss prevention budget those stores would have needed!

Slumming it: Posh dome restaurant opens under Toronto expressway weeks after nearby homeless camp eviction. Cue the counter-protest:

Called Dinner With a View, people can pay $149 to rent a life-sized terrarium at the Bentway, a public space under the Gardiner in the city’s west end. For an additional $99 per patron, guests get a dinner by Top Chef season 4 winner Rene Rodriguez.

The company bills it as “a luxurious dining experience in a highly unexpected setting.” But anti-poverty activist Yogi Acharya calls it “an obscene spectacle.”

[…]

“The city cleared out homeless people who are living under the Gardiner with no heat. They were evicted. Meanwhile, pop-up restaurants serving ritzy dinners in heated domes under that same highway are granted permits,” Acharya, an organizer with the Ontario Coalition Against Poverty (OCAP), told As It Happens host Carol Off.

“Such brazenness, from my perspective, begs a challenge and we’re happy to do our part.”

Summer is cancelled: Wildfire season starts in B.C. as firefighters tackle Squamish blaze.

Related: 7 things Americans think are more plausible than man-made global warming.

Create a Real Available Beach: “Port of Vancouver, please extend area of waterfront Crab Park lease and pay for improvements”: Park Board motion by Commissioner John Irwin, 1-April-2019.

Bonus: A family from Quebec drove home from Florida with a dead body in the backseat.