Tea & Two Slices is a long-running news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran restaurant dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown. He is very aware of his privilege, so there’s really no need to remind him of it.

Release the Kraken! Eight things: Some of the more disturbing allegations in the Plecas report. Hey, remember when the BC Libs got Glen Clark thrown out of office for building a deck? Yeah, put that deck in this $13,000 personal wood chipper, baby, because you ain’t got nothing!

Did we all forget this is the same government that got raided by the RCMP? This is the same government that turned a blind eye to rampant money laundering. I mean, what did we expect was going on in there?

To be honest, I’d be kind of disappointed if it wasn’t a cognac-filled fuck fest of colonial-era corruption and largesse.

It’s our very own made in BC ?#FyreFestival #bcpoli https://t.co/yiElqAKpEY

— Tracy Ho (@Tray_Ho) January 22, 2019

Hundreds of thousands of dollars inappropriately spent by James and Lenz on luxury, woodchippers & booze is bad and all, but I still think the gem in all of this is James' purchase of a 'you can do art' painting instruction kit on the public dime. https://t.co/1qVRtrySu1 #BCPoli

— Dock Currie???? (@DockCurrie) January 22, 2019

“I believe you. I read the article in Forbes“…

Meanwhile, the Province runs the following piece (and it’s not satire): Christie Blatchford: There may be toxic men, but traditional masculinity is quite glorious. When Christie was a little child, a lifeguard yelled out at some kids running at the pool. Christie replied thoughtfully, “but I wasn’t running”.

#yesallmen: The ‘Prince of Pot’ Marc Emery is allegedly a creep.

The CBC touted the economic benefits of Bolsonaro and now this: No matter the politics, Trump’s wall could provide jobs, stimulus if recession strikes: Don Pittis.

We’re doomed. I mean, when 6.7k (and counting people) share this obviously fake photo of Vancouver during the Super Blood Wolf Moon without any hint of irony it’s clear that we are beyond hope…

Meanwhile, people are actually arguing that this guy crossed the line: Man kicks side view mirror off car after almost getting hit in Vancouver (Video). This man is a hero, if only for expediting the ICBC claims process…

Vancouver drivers are the worst: Car with ‘N’ sticker caught on camera cruising the Stanley Park Seawall. And if that wasn’t bad enough, check out their excuses.

The sub-million dollar detached home is back in Vancouver. What a weird thing to be celebrating.

This is a crazy story about Bindy Johal that I actually lived through. What a time to be alive: I’m Still Around.

Bonus: A cow escaped from a rodeo 6 months ago and no one can catch her. All hail Comrade Cow!