by Sean Orr | ‘Twas the Tea & Two Slices before Christmas: On, Fassbender! on, Stone! on, Clark! … on, to environmental oblivion! Yeah, that Stephen Quinn sure is super witty and probably the first person to take The Night Before Christmas and turn it into a political rant. Oh wait…no, there are hundreds of them:
Twas the night before Christmas and poor Clement Moore
Had his poem being copied by many a bore
His “Night Before Christmas” is perfect in rhyme
His rhythm and cadence are wonderfully fine.
But then come the wise guys, with Internet cool
Who use Clement’s rhyme as sort of a tool
They pick up the style from this poem of “that night”
And they hitch up their sled to whatever’s their gripe.
Well, at least I don’t have to deconstruct an interview of Harper this year…
Dragnet: Downtown Eastside support worker suffers nerve damage after getting caught in “street sweep”. Take one part “why did you lock your bike up when the worker asked you not to” and mix it with “do cops just not bother to de-escalate situations anymore” and you have a wonderful Christmas bundt cake.
Another holiday season, another tragic fire that displaces a bunch of people: Dozens displaced after fire in downtown Vancouver building.
Carded: B.C. homeless man Steve Borik wins lotto, but can’t claim prize because he lacks ID. You don’t need ID to buy the ticket, but you need ID to claim it? Hmm….
Derelict Expo 86 ‘McBarge’ to set sail for mystery port after 30-year retirement. Damn! Now someone at Scout is going to have to edit the McBarge Lexicon entry…
New Vancouver policy brings EDM out of the underground. “Expecting authorities to pull the plug, EDM fans kept one eye on the dance floor and the other on the exits…” Sorry to be pedestrian here, but wasn’t that sort of the point?
Forget Uber: Vancouver’s mayor wants to plan for driverless cars. Should be fine until it comes across a Vancouver driver.
Someone made a North Van edition of those spoof candles.
Vancouverhenge: Streets aligned with the solstices in Vancouver.