On Harper’s Follies And An Alternative To Diner En Blanc At Crab Park

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by Sean Orr | How’s my posturing? Tories propose ban on travel to terrorist hotspots. Right, because a potential terrorist is totally going to take a direct flight from Halifax to Fallujah. “We are talking about the most dangerous places on earth, where governance is nonexistent and violence is widespread and brutal.” So…Ferguson?

Clearly we have more pressing issues to deal with: Harper says he ‘loves’ TV shows, opposes ‘Netflix tax’. I’m paraphrasing here: “I, too, enjoy audiovisual displays, for I, like you, have human emotions that are occasionally stimulated by my physical senses…” But wait, there already is a Netflix tax. Oops.

But that didn’t stop local Charles Demers from penning the tweet of his life:

What else has Harper done lately? He called Alberta’s NDP a failed experiment despite only being in power for, er…6 months; shared a hotel with the Hell’s Angels (one group is a criminal organization that uses intimidation as a tool…the other is a biker gang); and had his campaign bus block a Toronto bike lane (obviously courting the Rob Ford vote).

New biography claims Harper’s staff convinced him not to launch full-on public assault on Supreme Court; you know, because dismantling the sacrosanct separation of powers between executive and judiciary just might be a bad idea…

Kinder Morgan pulls ‘flurry of ads’ for duration of federal election campaign after complaint (go Kennedy Stewart!).

The one question every Canadian should ask this election season.

Bountiful’s polygamist leader could see $43,160 in child care benefits (note to self – have 133 children).

The real winner of this election will be…Clickbait. Sample Buzzfeed headlines: Including Tom Mulcair Is Basically Taylor Doose From “Gilmore Girls” And You Cannot Unsee It; People Can’t Stop Looking At This Unsettling GIF Of Stephen Harper; The Official 2015 Federal Election Drinking Game; and Shut It Down Canada, This Guy Made The Best Campaign Video Of The Whole Damn Election.

It’s enough to make one almost forgot about our own Premier! Malaysian political scandal could have ramifications on Premier Christy Clark’s LNG dream. “The Wall Street Journal has reported that he received a 2.6-billion ringgit (CDN$873 million) donation to his personal bank account.” Christy be all like, “You can do that? I’m moving to Kuala Lumpur y’all. Peace! ”

Whoa! Apparently it costs a lot to buy a home in Vancouver. Who knew? Real estate dreams dashed: Priced out and resigned to renting. Article number 9,547 on the issue. Keep ’em coming.

Empty condo? Put a fancy rat in it: Rescue Me: City overwhelmed by adoptable fancy rats. “Blyth says the creatures do well in a caged environment, so they’re well suited for a condo or apartment setting”. As a condo dweller, I resent the implication that I live in a caged environment.

San Franciscification: Vancouver’s high-tech hurdle: Attracting top-level talent. Clearly we need more white dudes dressed in casual attire.

Freedom of Assembly much? Tensions rise on The Drive over planned ‘Do It Yourself Commercial Drive Festival’. One dude saying the event should get a permit even though the event is all about not getting a permit is hardly tensions rising.

Meanwhile, some people decided to stage an event in response to the vacuous, ego-driven circle jerk known as Diner en Blanc. They’re calling it Ce Soir Noir.

Bonus: Wizard Mode.

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