On The Shrinking World Of Grumpy Old Bigots & Conservative Robots


by Sean Orr | Anonymous “now privy to many of Stephen Harper’s most cherished secrets”. Fortunately, there’s enough non-secrets to defeat him. You know, like his policies and such.

13 Conservative MPs drone on like robots reading the exact same script. All they have to do is coast into October. They don’t even need to go after Mulcair. Instead, they’re going after that 10% of The Liberal Party who can’t imagine a coalition.

Finnal words: Mary Catherine Finn’s Obituary Asks Canadians To Vote Out Harper, Save The CBC. Is it too early for a beatification campaign?

Meanwhile, an 80 year old person who isn’t dead (even though I thought he was) really wants to vote: I’m Canadian – and I should have a right to vote. Don’t look now, but he sounds like a real asshole. He should get two votes.

Speaking of assholes, local big mouth Trevor Risk talks shit about Canada, but gets fired/quits for attempting to talk shit about Better Than Ezra. I guess it struck a nerve.

Conspiracy of the day: Doesn’t the fire map look suspiciously like a “Let It Burn so we can Let Pipelines Thru” map?. Attn: Elizabeth May.

Something about re-aranging the deck chairs on the Titanic: What Christy Clark said and what Christy Clark meant with today’s cabinet shuffle. “Yamamoto can be the minister of state for emergency preparedness. Then, if there’s a problem with forest fires or an unexpected earthquake, she can be blamed…”

No changes to the Ministry of Children and Family Development? Is that a tacit admission that spending $12,000 at golf courses, $3,500 on spas and resorts, and $1,700 on luxury hotels is totally legit? I mean, it’s not like we have the worst child poverty in the country or anything…

Quick, build another 10-lane bridge to the suburbs! George Massey Tunnel replacement bridge raises concerns for Richmond. Oh, so maybe funnelling 10 lanes into the four lane Oak Street Bridge isn’t such a good idea? Hmm, maybe it has more to do with letting thermal coal ships through than easing congestion? “I see”, said the blind man.

Here is the most important news item ever: B.C. ferry worker’s remarkably deep voice prompts doubts about his age. Thanks, Globe & Mail.

Public service: Being topless in public is legal, B.C. woman reminds others after police encounter. Yeah? Pics or it didn’t happen…

Angry dog-owner lashes out at good samaritan in shocking encounter. “UPDATE: The video of this incident has been taken down and removed from this post as it has come to the attention of Vancity Buzz that the man seen in the video has a mental disorder…” But not before it could be shared 7,200 times. Oops.

Don’t-read-the-comments-of-the-day: Police question 91-year-old after paint poured on Vancouver Pride sidewalk.

He obviously found out that Genetically Engineered Beluga Whales Are Attacking Christian Families with Homosexual Chemtrail Water at Seaworld.

There are 0 comments

On Welcoming Our Moth Overlords and Vancouver’s Greediest Shifting the Narrative

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr finds an artist doing well and new heights of Peak Vancouver.

On Stupidity Killing Bars and Surrendering Vancouver to Selfish Supercar Drivers

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr finds plays a game of bingo in our increasingly dystopian hellworld.

On Living in a City Full of Sociopaths and Allowing Hate to Masquerade as Religion

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr imagines affordable housing in Trump Tower an an end to wellness checks.

On Young People Totally Sucking and Scumbag Real Estate Agents Stealing Fruit

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr finds clickbait bullshit and genetically modified mosquitoes.