by Sean Orr | I apologise for my lack of posts last week. God forbid you had to read The Province all by yourself! My computer shut down on the same day as the Great Skytrain Crash of 2014. It turns out my little Macbook was also running the entire SkyTrain system. No wonder it was so slow!

I demand answers. I just don’t want to pay for them: TransLink to pay independent expert $1,200 a day to review SkyTrain outages. Apparently $1,200 gets you such Orwellian tidbits as: “We’re going to start to communicate out as you would in any travel what plans you need to make”. What?

Imagine being “put out on the street”? Oppenheimer park protest puts Powell Street Festival out on the street. Actually, if you bothered to ask the festival organizers, they voluntarily pulled out of the park in solidarity with the protesters. Gee, way to be bad at being a newspaper.

“We should get first dibs” – actual quote from an actual adult. Vancouver House tower makes enemies before it’s built by targeting Asian buyers. Wow, people hate when they’re not marketed to? “Vancouver House’s star architect, Bjarke Ingels, suggests the building is symbolic of ‘a giant curtain, at the moment of being pulled back to reveal the world to Vancouver and Vancouver to the world”. And behind that curtain? A xenophobic wizard named Oz who artificially inflates home-prices at will, forcing our little Dorothy of a fishing village to grow up beyond recognition. Click your heels Vancouver, because there’s no place like home.

But we will take your workers: BC and China sign MOU to allow foreign workers to expand LNG industry. Best comment: “What the hell did our grandparents and great grandparents fight WW2 for? I thought it was a war against communism?” Fascism, buddy. You mean fascism.

I hate it when they do that: Someone at the Fraser Institute accidentally blurted out a good idea. “Environmental and social benefits? Looking beyond narrow financial perspectives? Perish the thought!”

NHL: Climate change is going to cause serious problems for hockey. You know we’re in trouble when our sports leagues care more about the environment than our governments.

Taking sides: B.C. can be counted as a friend of Israel, says Premier Christy Clark. I’d say this was shocking but, you know, white settler colonialism and whatnot. I mean, it’s not like she cares what British Columbians think. To heck with us, right?

Jay @D6MERIT: Very sad to see you retire. One upside: you can party late now. To heck with the neighbours. #thxcaptain #vwfc #gocaps

— Christy Clark (@christyclarkbc) July 27, 2014

Nanny State alert: Call for physical barriers on the sea wall.

How does B.C.’s newly updated draft beer price minimum stack up against the rest of Canada? Spoiler alert: not so good.

Honour Bound: Survivors Totem Pole.