TEA & TWO SLICES: On How To Write Like A Champion, Riot Properly, And Get Elected…

by Sean Orr | So many questions for rural Alberta Conservative MP Blake Richards, whose bill would make wearing masks during riots a crime. Does that include the cops? Also, if you’re in a riot, aren’t you already doing something illegal? How exactly would that have helped during our last riot? What if a riot starts and there are women with niqabs on? How exactly does one know when they are in or not in a riot? Because sometimes they think they are in fact protesting, and then when fake black blockers start one, and the cops use tear gas (on a grandmother, for real), and then people are like WTF, and then they pee on some rags so they can breathe. I mean, look, even CBC is confused. They used a picture of a peaceful protest to talk about a riot, as though they couldn’t find a picture of an actual rioter actually covering their face.

Meanwhile, Anonymous visits US DoJ, FBI, Police & Mil Cybercrime units. OK, I have no idea what that is but it’s completely terrifying and fun at the same time. Maybe they can “visit” the CBC or, I don’t know, say Conservative MP Blake Richards.

When he gets going on #OccupyVancouver, Sun columnist Pete McMartin sure can write: ”Quixote-like”, “remora-like”, “exhorted”, “juxtaposition”! With the dry, cool wit like that, I could be an action hero. No, but seriously…the word is quixotic, not “Quixote-like”.

Keeping up appearances: Surrey’s top 10 most wanted suspects. I’m not an expert on fetal-alcohol syndrome, but holy jesus…

NPA Flyer photo flap. “Filipino-Canadian man files complaint after photographs of his daughter and niece were used in an NPA campaign flyer without permission”. The most insidious thing, I suspect, is that they probably just assumed that because he was Filipino he would never find out.

NPA launches propaganda campaign, gets 77 Likes on Facebook: Take Back Vancouver. Take it back from who exactly, the people we elected? By electing different people? So then we can take back Vancouver again in another 3 years? Unless…wait. Are you guys insinuating that you’re going to take it by force?

Where the Buffalo Roam: Getting Elected is Easy Part Three.

At this point, following the Lamarche campaign and writing an inspirational story about municipal politics would be like writing a biography of Charlie Manson and only mentioning the music.

Wow, Lamarche is like a small notch up from this guy running for mayor. Unfortunately, they’re both a notch up on this guy not running for Mayor.

Foreign Intelligence Briefing #389: Sinatra Croons To Uplift Savaged #Occupy Spirits

Here’s Sinatra singing New York, New York for the #OWS folks during the raids of the 15th. They could use a song after the shit they’ve been through, as could their brethren here in Vancouver, where it’s cold – half-snowing, half-raining. After a promising start that enjoyed broad civic support, a lot of Vancouverites have turned against #OccupyVancouver. On account of their woeful communication skills and the media instincts of sick badgers, the local chapter has sort of let the global side down a bit, allowing the press to paint them – day after day after day – as expensive idiots, irresponsible drug addicts, homeless opportunists and professional protestors. But still they’ve held, and we should all be proud of them. It takes a lot of courage to stand by one’s convictions. It’s made a little easier when you’re right, but not by much. What is the #Occupy movement wrong about? The banks suck, the financial system is broken, the world is getting meaner than it needs to be, and the #RobinHood tax is a very good idea. I think everybody agrees with those points, except the 1%. So the next time a local paper details how #OccupyVancouver has ruined the Christmas parade (really?), reveals that the VAG suddenly smells like weed (no!), or discovers that there just might be a little issue with heroin in our city (never!), don’t forget that grassroots aren’t roses, and that those who are paid to inform us aren’t doing their jobs. Sing it Frank! “These little town blues…”

Foreign Intelligence Briefing #383: #Occupy Police Crackdown Coming To #Vancouver?

Are these recent scenes from Oakland, CA – with all the tear gas, flash bangs, rubber bullets and 120 arrests – next for the #OccupyVancouver folks camped out on the VAG’s front lawn? The violent evictions are on the ascendant (see also Chicago and Melbourne), and in China, from the annals of You Know You’re On To Something When…, authorities have banned the word “occupy” on all search engines and micro-blogging services. Let’s hope that Mayor Gregor sticks to his words: “We have to be patient with this. It’s happening all over the world in hundreds and hundreds of cities. We can’t expect a miracle overnight here. We cannot provoke violence and chaos in our city.” Wanna bet?

SEEN IN VANCOUVER #320: Mark Feenstra Shoots The Faces Of #OccupyVancouver

Contributing photographer Mark Feenstra paid a visit to the #OccupyVancouver core to take in situ portraits of a cross section of its participants. “I wasn’t content with the increasing number of photos of funny signs, strange costumes, and radical behaviour I kept seeing captured by a lot of the photographers visiting the various Occupy protests,” he says. “A movement like this is about people more than it is about signs and masks, and hopefully the 26 portraits in this series represent a picture of the ethnic, financial, and age demographics that felt it necessary to make the trip downtown in support of something they believe in.” Well done Mark! If you’ve been down there with your camera (or are planning to do so), we’d love to see your shots submitted to our Flickr Pool.


Foreign Intelligence Briefing #381: Cue The “We The People Have Found Our Voice” Vid

October 17, 2011 

If you find – after watching this – that you loved the 1080p night shooting capabilities of the Canon 5D more than you enjoyed being taken inside the #OccupyWallStreet protest in New York City, you’re probably doing it wrong…