The saddest story in the world as of 2pm today comes to us via the Huffington Post:
“A marine biologist says he has discovered a new crab species off the coast of southern Taiwan that looks like a strawberry with small white bumps on its red shell.
National Taiwan Ocean University professor Ho Ping-ho says the crab resembles the species living in the areas around Hawaii, Polynesia and Mauritius. But it has a distinctive clam-shaped shell about 1 inch (2.5 centimeters) wide, making it distinct.
Taiwanese crab specialist Wang Chia-hsiang confirmed Ho’s finding.
Ho said Tuesday his team found two female crabs of the new species last June off the coast of Kenting National Park, known for its rich marine life. The crabs died shortly thereafter, possibly because the water in the area was polluted by a cargo ship that ran aground.”
And just like that, the strawberry crab enters and exits. No word yet on what the researchers ate instead.
Slate on why Steve Jobs’ absence from MacWorld due to a hormone imbalance meant that it was bound to suck. And when hackers got into MacWorld’s livestream, throwing up text that read “Steve Jobs Has Died”, I suppose it got even lamer.
The Courier follows Mayor Gregor Robertson on Twitter.
“Spent much of the weekend focused on what more to do about the snow and related chaos.”
“doing late night push-ups and luge exercises. Just in case.”
“can’t wait to bike in the snow”
“just got my fix of obscure Stompin’ Tom tunes”
What’s weirder, having a mayor tweeting or a paper writing a story about it?
It looks like the 6’5 230lb Swedish centerman is going to play tonight against the Oilers. The anticipation is so high that if he doesn’t score or get injured on his first shift, the earth will open up and swallow the city.
Litany of Sadness
The Tyee gives us plenty of bloggery options for keeping track of what’s happening in Gaza. A much better option for those wary of the corporate media teat. Pity they missed Juan Cole. Now there’s a feisty one.
The Daily Beast on the meeting.
From the seldom heard from Department of Things Canadians Should Be Ashamed About:
Kimberly Rivera, who was the first woman to refuse to serve after being deployed to Iraq in October 2006, went before the Immigration Board Wednesday to ask to stay in Canada on compassionate and humanitarian grounds.
However according to a support group, her plea to stay was denied and she was given until Jan. 27 to voluntarily leave or face deportation.
Rivera gave birth to her youngest of three children Nov. 23. The Riveras, from Mesquite, Texas, arrived in Canada in February 2007.
Michelle Robidoux, a spokeswoman with the War Resisters’ Support Campaign is concerned that if Rivera is deported and jailed, she will be separated from her newborn. She said her other two kids are in Grade 1 and preschool.
The Face of Modern Evil
Translation: Ann Coulter is still a noxious idiot.
Fooled Me Once…
Daddy thinks his other boy is just right for the big job, too.
George H.W. Bush—that’s Bush 41, not Bush 43—wants to see his second son in the White House one day.
Bush senior, who was president from 1989 to 1993, told Fox News today that he thinks Jeb Bush could be president or a senator. Jeb Bush’s grandfather, Prescott Bush, was a senator from Connecticut.
Many consider Jeb Bush, a former two-term governor of Florida, more intellectually gifted than his older brother George, who leaves office this month.
Douglas Coupland on how the economic downswing is not like Y2K. Shorter version: everything is cool so buy a Chrysler. Thanks Douglas!
The likelihood of you eating squirrels during the Next Great Depression™ (coinage!) is increasing every day. Get busy, folks. Squirrel hunting tip: they love M&Ms.
Andrew Morrison is a west coast boy who studied history and classics at the Universities of Cape Town and Toronto after an adolescence spent riding skateboards and working in restaurants. He is the editor of Scout Magazine, the weekly food and restaurant columnist for the Westender newspaper, and a contributor to Vancouver and Western Living magazines.
As seen above, drunk drivers are only funny when they smash their own heads into the dry wall of a beat cop’s cubicle. The Vancouver Sun presents ICBC’s top ten drunk driving excuses. Be warned, they are a little stupid (even unlikely), but hey, driving drunk is wicked shitty. Stay safe, folks. I fear there are many tokoloshe at the wheel. Buses are awesome, and taxis need your money.
Take A Bow, You!
The Vancouver Courier has named this year’s local Newsmaker of the Year. Was it Gregor Robertson? Sam Sullivan? Trevor Linden? Nope. Spoiler alert: it was you. Really? Though they mean you as a political engine of change™ (as in you, the few who vote), this still reeks of a Class A cop-out. Didn’t Time magazine do the same thing last year? Oh wait, they did.
Grants Gone Macabre
Research money well spent! Scientists calculate the odds of every unlikely death scenario from falling off a ladder to drowning in the bath. It turns out I have a greater chance of using the word macabre again this year than I do being eaten by prawns (web extra: I seldom get to type the word macabre. It’s tricky. Just try it).
A New Republican Baby Jesus
Christendom has a new King. A big welcome to Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. Pa-rup-pa-pum-pum. Personally, I think naming your first kid after Linda Tripp is just weird, but then again I sort of lean to the left.
A New Vancouver Baby Jesus
Hockey mega extra super zeus Mats Sundin arrives in Vancouver and immediately pisses off his cheerleaders. Money media quote:
The 37-year-old centre arrived from Stockholm, via Frankfurt, and was whisked out a back entrance at the arrivals area of YVR and into a waiting SUV.
Duped photographers gamely tried to run down Sundin, but the media is not known for its athleticism, and sprinting is more difficult in snow boots and while carrying many thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment.
Is that genius or is it as unintentionally and inexplicably profound as zee Germans loving Tom Cruise? Either way, as a guy who grew up in Toronto watching Sundin bob, weave, hit, and shoot, I’m stoked.
From Gaza With Love
A popular Beirut bar joke:
The Israeli air force.
The Israeli air force who?
Not funny, I know. The video above was released by the Israeli Defense Force tonight. It shows operational prep, I suppose – the air force readying for last night’s missions over Gaza. So efficient and clinical. What a nasty, never-ending, simmer-boil-simmer business this is. You can join Vancouver protesters who are railing against the airstrikes (the Straight provides plenty of pictures), or, if you tend to abhor protests but still want to know what’s going on in the Levant’s end game department, turn to the unflinchingly unemotional and always academic Juan Cole. His interpretation of this sadness has always ruled without much in the way of ideological clutter (think better than CNN, Haaretz, and Al Jazeera, all without the ads, Nancy Grace, and the language barriers). Matching cliché: it’s always better to sit back and read than just sit back and watch.
The Georgia Straight’s pithy Year In Review, magically translated: “we may sometimes read or come across as old or semi-tenured/indentured, but the truth is we’d so totally rather be interning at HuffPo or Counterpunch for free.” Giggle.
The Hunt For Red December
Slate opines on green urban planning (a fantastic read).architect Michael McDonough (watch him ramble above).
Pop Goes The Pipe Dream
The Kitsilano housing market is totally tanking. The Globe and Mail’s upside: sanity returns. Deep thought: if the fellow who pens the Condo Hype blog had his own newspaper column or radio show, life for a lot of newly broke people would be better.
Idea No. 6
A global reduction in fishermen.
Rock Me Nostradamus
If I had to go with any a single corporate soothsayer it would have to be the BBC, and it just so happens that their top correspondents are predicting what 2009 holds for the world as we speak. And so what if the business of crystal-balling becomes a pandemic phenomenon in the journalism profession this time of year. Endure.