TEA & TWO SLICES | On Getting Denied At Diner En Blanc And Pipeline Sentimentalism


by Sean Orr | A guest writer in The Province is anti-anti-everything: B.C.’s anti-everything movement needs to end. He needs to be reminded that the people who are against the pipelines aren’t anti-resource. They are merely against the unsustainable and destructive practices of fracking and the tar sands. Moreso, they’re against wholesale extraction that only benefits crony corporations with no benefit to the public. “You only have to consider the facts”, he writes, offering anecdotes about mother, his friends, and a $900 mountain bike.

But then again, ‘Responsible capitalism’ is nonsense.

Kevin O’Leary leaves CBC’s The Lang & O’Leary Exchange. Awesome, now all that’s left is for him to leave Canada.

Low-hanging fruit: Rob Ford says threatening email has given him 12 hours to resign or City Hall will be blown up.

Cuts like a knife: Bryan Adams Slams Stephen Harper For Canada’s Gaza Stance. Leading to the Tweet of the day:

Schadenfreude level 10: Sold-out Diner en Blanc leaves thousands of Vancouverites seeing red. Aw, let’s all feel bad for the poor elitists who didn’t make the cut.

Did you hear the one about the mother who moved into the DTES and was surprised to find the DTES

Related: Let’s work to radically change Vancouver.

Man without tattoo found living in East Van. Sigh. Judging by the comments below the piece I think we might need a local version of Literally Unbelievable.

Craigslist of the Day: 10 / hr to sit in a car.

Bonus: Lewis Found.

LEXICON | Defining The Granville Shit Show, Pho Bich Nga, Chocolate Fuck Ups And More


The Vancouver Lexicon – our A-Z dictionary of local slang, myths, legends, and such – might appear to be complete, but we mean to keep adding to it every week. Today we included a further six new localisms that everyone should know about. They are Pho Bich Nga, Chocolate Fuck Ups, Skypig, Granville Shitshow, Diner En Blanc, and Lumberjoke.



Diner En Blanc | Event/Phenomenon/Spectacle | Literally, “Dinner In White”. An annual al fresco summer supper that sees thousands of serial Instagram abusers paying money so they can dress exactly alike in order to best physically express their collective disdain for the individual. The evening ends with a mass synchronized ejaculation of short-lived sparklers that symbolizes everyone’s empty return to flawed personal realities. A performance study on irony. An Orwellian warning. A farce.

Usage: “Nothing frightens me more than the prospect of living the nightmare that is Diner En Blanc…”


Foreign Intelligence Brief #407: On White House Beer & The Appeal Of Diner En Blanc

September 2, 2012 

The greatest thing about the American election cycle? It’s the return of Get Your War On! Press play on the video above for a fantastical taste of two lovers theoretically entwined at the Republican National Convention.

And what a god awful sham it was, Clint Eastwood’s bizarre antics notwithstanding.

These three buttoned-up dudes explaining the dangers of masturbation to deaf Jehovah’s Witnesses are really feelin’ it. What’s missing is a sexy soundtrack, not to mention a woman.

Cute as fuck: when skateboarding first arrived in New York City in the 1960′s.

Venice is sinking: Terrence Malick’s new film To The Wonder booed by critics at Venice Film Festival.

A comedic history of internet spam.

The latest marketing initiative from Absolut is a limited edition vodka bottle (a run of 4 million). The new product packaging will become available at airport bars (and other shit holes) around the world this October.

Covers of Where magazine subtly reveal the publication’s ethos.

In Singapore, the Diner en Blanc mass secret supper organisers went too far with their control-freakiness by disinviting local bloggers and telling people what they could and couldn’t bring to eat. Still, from a business perspective and as a social experiment in population control, it remains a wonderful idea: let’s make it ridiculously exclusive, host it in a sterile environment, have everyone dress up head-to-toe in white, subject their enjoyment to a bunch of stupid restrictions, have them pay good money to bring their own food (seriously), and get them to ejaculate in unison with sparklers at the end of it all to celebrate their participation in a masturbatory spectacle that has no meaning. Ka-ching! Pure genius, and we (together with our media) fell for it hard.

Unrelated: the why of not wearing white after Labour Day:

By the 1880s, in order to tell who was acceptable and who wasn’t, the women who were already “in” felt it necessary to create dozens of fashion rules that everyone in the know had to follow. That way, if a woman showed up at the opera in a dress that cost more than most Americans made in a year, but it had the wrong sleeve length, other women would know not to give her the time of day.

Ever been stirred by Jack Kerouac’s reading of Old Angel Midnight? His collected poems have just been published by the Library of America.

Barack Obama becomes the first President to make alcohol in The White House. His kitchen crew releases its beer brewing secrets and recipes.

Bonus: new JPL panorama images put you in driver’s seat on Mars.