TEA & TWO SLICES: On Liquor Laws, Real Hipsters, And Pepper Spraying Protestors

by Sean Orr | International news is not within my purview, but condolences to everyone in Boston. And Pakistan. And Afghanistan. And Iraq.

Ladies and Gentleman, we have a winner: Dix will ban corporate, union donations to political parties. Hopefully this will result in the creation of, like, 73 new political parties (all of them socialist.

Enter stage left: VisionBC! Sounds interesting, but what exactly are ”candid candidates”? They sound cast members in a terrible reality TV show…

Oh god, that totally reminds me: ‘Real Hipsters Of Vancouver’ Audition Tapes. Hands down the winner is the girl repeating “I am a real hipster”. Transfixing!

Vancouver pawn shop building to become apartments. Sounds like a change for the better. Then again, that small band of ideologues, their pockets lined by Vancity and the Vancouver Foundation, are probably opposed to this.

When you call it war: Pidgin protester pepper-sprayed. What an awful waste of pepper spray.

Probably the most important story you’ll never read: BC Mental Health System For Teens Is Fractured.

Pro-fun city: Government of British Columbia: Improve liquor laws to facilitate live music for people of all ages. Yes, please.

SCOUT LIST: 11 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now & Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours…

MAKE IT! | Score one-of-a-kind items that have been handmade by local designers at the Make It! show this weekend. This is a craft fair with an edge. Not only will you find table after table of cool and imaginative clothing, accessories and jewellery, but you’ll also find a fully licensed bar and DJ. Clever.
Apr. 19-21 | Fri: 4-9pm, Sat: 11-6, Sun: 11-5 | Croatian Cultural Centre | DETAILS

GET CRACKLIN’ | Do you love meat? If the answer is yes then you may want to wrangle a group of likeminded friends together and grab some seats at Campagnolo’s family-style nose-to-tail feast of whole roasted suckling pig this Wednesday night. Yes, you read that right! And the deliciousness doesn’t end there. Chef Ted Anderson will also be preparing a whack of awesome side dishes to compliment the pig, and wine will help grease the rails. All of a sudden Wednesday night is looking a lot more interesting right?  Word to the wise: tickets are going fast.
Wed, Apr. 17 | 7pm | Campagnolo (1020 Main St) | $59 | DETAILS

SHOP HOP |  The Gastown Spring Shop Hop happens this Thursday night. The one-night-only event offers Vancouverites the opportunity to cruise forty-seven of Gastown’s best shops, check out all of the new spring wares and be treated to great deals, in-store specials and the occasional cupcake . And get this: the kind people of Gastown want to make sure that you don’t get weighed down by the trying on of clothing and the carrying of bags so, with every purchase you make, you’ll receive a food or drink voucher to one of your favourite nearby participating restaurants (think Nicli Antica Pizzeria, Salt, Peckinpah, Pourhouse, Sea Monstr). Even if you’re not looking to spend, the vibe is good and the business owners are friendly. So get hopping.
Thurs, Apr. 18 | 5pm–9pm | Various very cool locations | FREE to browse | DETAILS

BEGGARS BANQUET | It’s spring people, the perfect time for some new duds! Refresh your closet with some stylish vintage at The Beggars Banquet this Friday night. Loaded with a tight selection of cool clothing, jewellery, shoes and handbags, this one-night-only pop-up flea market is guaranteed to inspire. Citizen Grace and Duchesse Vintage will be there, as will Lauren Clark & Lynsdey Chow of Hey Jude and the Jordan River Soap crew (gotta keep squeaky clean).  The bar will be open and the music will be playing. Arrive early and you might even score some complimentary food (provided by The Bottleneck) and R&B beer.
Fri, Apr. 19 | 5-11pm | 213 E Georgia St. in Chinatown | DETAILS

FOUNDATIONS | The Emily Carr University of Art + Design Foundation Show lines the walls of the ECUAD Concourse Gallery with works by first year students. Sure, the show is an opportunity for new students to bring their family and friends down to see what’s been keeping them so busy over the past eight months, but it’s also an opportunity for the general public to size up the next wave of emerging art, design and media makers (and even place bets on their futures by purchasing pieces of their art). Pop down to Granville Island for the opening reception on Friday night. This show continues until April 27.
Fri, Apr. 19 | 7-10pm | Emily Carr University of Art & Design, Granville Island | DETAILS

LISTEN |It’s Record Store Day on Saturday and independently run record stores across the city are fixin’ to help you celebrate. Back to back in-store performances, record releases, sales and the coming together of people who love music – sounds like a fine use of a Saturday! Hit Red Cat Records, Neptoon and Dandelion Emporium on Main and Zulu Records on 4th Avenue for all sorts of record-related fun.
Sat, Apr. 20 | All Day | Various Locations Around Town | Free | DETAILS

ORO |  Klee Larson takes a great photograph, and her artistic abilities don’t stop there – they spill into everything she does. Lately she has been playing around with printing photos on vellum and adding layers of gold foil and resin (the results literally glow). Clear some space on your schedule to attend the opening reception for Klee’s first solo show on Saturday evening. Oro(Spanish and Italian for gold) is a gathering of Klee’s recent works showing at The Shack Art Collective in East Van. The majority of pieces are small and, keeping within the mandate of The Shack, priced within reach (in the $80-$110 range). Bring a little cash in your pocket for art (and a drink) and enter through the alley to check out this cool little gallery and the amazing artist exhibiting within!
Sat, Apr. 20 | 7pm | The Shack Art Collective | 4364 Prince Albert (enter through alley) | DETAILS

GROW | Head to the greenway on East 23rd between St. George and Carolina Streets on Saturday afternoon to load up on plants. A fantastic plant swap is going down that will give gardeners and food growers the chance to buy or trade plants just in time for spring planting. Bring along gardening tools that you no longer need and donate them to a new home, get gardening advice from experts, and take part in Earth Day activities while you’re there.
Sat, Apr. 20 | 1-4pm | Tupper Greenway (500 Block of East 23rd Ave)

WRITERS FESTIVAL | The 14th Annual North Shore Writers Festival is on this Friday and Saturday. Head over to Lynn Valley to sit in on readings, panels and discussions aimed at celebrating Canadian writing and literature. Super stoked for the fun that will surely ensue at Friday night’s Literary Trivia event (hosted by author and CBC Radio superstar Grant Lawrence and the astoundingly well versed ‘Quiz Mistress’ (and librarian) Julie Backer. Also looking forward to The Art of Food Writing, a panel discussion with Diana Chan (Foodology), Andrew Morrison (Scout), Mijune Pak (FollowmeFoodie) and Stephanie Yuen moderated by Barbara-jo McIntosh (Saturday, 1–2:30pm).
Fri, Apr. 19 – Sat, Apr. 20 | Various Times | 1277 Lynn Valley Rd, North Vancouver

4:20 | On the 20th day of the 4th month (that would be this Saturday), thousands of people gather in, on and around the Vancouver Art Gallery to celebrate one of BC’s strongest industries: marijuana. Pot cookies, smoking tents, bongo drums, naked people and dreadlocks…expect it all. The first reefers are lit early and the cloud of blue love gathers all day, reaching it’s zenith in a storm at 4:20pm. If you’re driving through downtown, take caution around the VAG parameter, as there may be a few slow moving pedestrians to avoid. If you are attending and get the munchies, the Scout tip of the week is that Bel Cafe at The Hotel Georgia will be selling 4:20 themed Hemp Seed Macaron ($2) all day. Between those and the fleet of food carts on site, you should be all good, man.
Sat, Apr. 20 | 4:20pm | Vancouver Art Gallery | Free (or $5 a joint)

Check the Globe & Mail every Thursday for our Special Weekend Edition of the Scout List

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Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s shops and streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy, and uncooperative camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES: On Damn Hippies, Sad Thatcherites, And A Tech Hub On The DTES

by Sean Orr | With the death of Thatcher yesterday, Free Market fundamentalists everywhere have been weeping into their copies of Atlas Shrugged: Margaret Thatcher the revolutionary architect of modern Britain. If only the Free Market was actually a free market!

COPE springs eternal: COPE will challenge Vision for Vancouver mayor’s job in 2014. Unfortunately, most of their campaigning will come in the form of ill-advised pickets at fancy restaurants and bilious blog posts.

And speaking of bilious blog posts: Downtown Eastside Tech Hub: City commits to “capital incubation” at the expense of housing and jobs. I understand that this symbol of the paradoxical relationship between the open drug market and policing (the flagship of the social experiment known as the DTES; the highly visible first pillar) is important, but do you really think someone would want to live in the old Police Station? Also, shouldn’t the government be opening up infrastructure all over the place? Does this blogger at The Mainlander see the Vancouver Film School (with their buildings swarming Victory Square) as first-level agents of gentrification? I mean, is she against all capital, or just some?

Report: Nation’s Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened By Aristocratization. Sorry, I just had to.

The real working class of Vancouver: Divisions and Disparities in Lotus Land: The Social Geography of Income Polarization in Metro Vancouver. Social Housing In The Suburbs (SHITS) now!

Report provides tools for adapting to sea level rise. So wait…the BC Liberals now believe in climate change? Damn hippies!

Local bloke exposes hole in Liquid Natural Gas: Methane Beneath our Feet. It is better to read this entire article out loud in the Daniel Plainview voice.

Sometimes when I’m bored I read the letters in The Province: Letters: Roberto Luongo, Ten Commandments, climate change. “Hatred and anger are rampant and increasing.” Actually, aside from pockets of leftover archaic religious extremism, society is advancing by leaps and bounds. I’m sorry, but when I think of the Ten Commandments I think of Charleston Heston clutching a rifle in the wake of the Columbine massacre. It’s just so hard not to.

Why I voted to keep the HST (as horribly mismanaged as it was): Why PST in B.C. marks return of a ‘profoundly stupid tax’. Did people even read the question on the ballot? It wasn’t “do you like that the Liberals totally lied about it?”. Nor was it “hey, do you like taxes?” It was “do you want to take this wad of your own tax dollars that the Feds are giving us to streamline our tax system at a reduced rate of 10% because we fucked the whole thing so badly?” Seriously, I can’t wait until the NDP re-introduces it in…oh, let’s say around 2016.

Shout out: You Say Party’s Stephen O’Shea becomes Green Party candidate. #attaboy

SCOUT LIST: 11 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now & Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours…

PECHA KUCHA | Pecha Kucha Night Vol.27 goes down this week. As per usual, the gathering of local creatives will be presenting 20 images (for 20 seconds each) on what inspires them. Participants include a fascinating group of artists, musicians, community activists and business owners. This month’s speaker line up has great range, from Brandon Grossutti of PiDGiN Restaurant and the creative peeps behind Definitely Raining to Emily Smith of Vancouver Mini Maker Faire and Brian Wakelin of Public: Architecture + Communication. PKN remains one of the greatest mind-expanding, culturally significant ways to spend your time in Vancouver. We have a pair of tickets to give away, so stay tuned!
Thursday, Apr. 11 | Doors 6:30 | Vogue Theatre | 918 Granville St | $15 | DETAILS

POP-UP | If you’ve never been to a pop-up by The Found and the Freed before, this is a good weekend to start. Brought to you by a couple of great gals who source vintage and antique artifacts from all over (and then dust them off, fix them up and bring them to a convenient location for you to sift through), this is the kind of gig that you always hope you’ll find when you follow up on one of those pop-up leads. Be warned: the best items tend to fly out the doors, so don’t sit on whatever you fancy for too long. As we noted this morning, they’re taking over the former Chrome Yellow digs at 207 Abbott St. in Gastown beginning Friday night with regular hours starting on the Monday (to Friday 11am to 7pm and from 11am to 5pm on the weekends).
Fri, April 12 (to May 10) | 7pm | 207 Abbott | DETAILS

ART | Cultural hub, hideout, public venue or meeting place — a hotel is a many faceted creature that simultaneously bears witness to fleeting relationships and long-standing traditions. Responding to the complex, evocative and global phenomenon of The Hotel, the Vancouver Art Gallery opens a new exhibition this week, Grand Hotel: Redesigning Modern Life. This show, commissioned and produced by the Vancouver Art Gallery, “charts the evolution of the hotel from an isolated and utilitarian structure to a cultural phenomenon that figures prominently around the world.” Follow up with a civilized cocktail in a hotel lounge. Best bets: Yew, Tableau, Hawksworth.
Sat, April 13 | Vancouver Art Gallery (750 Hornby St) | $19.50 | DETAILS

LEARN | In collaboration with Vancouver Opera, The Vancouver Public Library is hosting an evening talk about tea this week. This free public lecture ties in with upcoming (May 4-11) opera Tea: A Mirror of The Soul, which tells the story of a Japanese prince and his tragic path to the wisdom of The Book of Tea. Tea experts will be on hand to discuss the history, mythology and rituals associated with Chinese and Japanese teas. Free admission, but seating is limited.
Tues, April 9 | 7pm | Vancouver Public Library, Central Branch (350 W. Georgia St.) | DETAILS

BUY LOCAL | Make your way to Heritage Hall this Sunday for the annual Nifty For Fifty sale. Everything from clothes and shoes to trinkets and awesome accessories are on sale for $50 or less. Everything on site will be vintage or made by local designers like Adhesif Clothing, Allison Wonderland, Daub+Design, Toodlebunny, C’est La Vie … (the list goes on and on and it all sounds straight up fantastic).
Sun, April 14 | 11am–8pm | Heritage Hall (3102 Main) | $1 | DETAILS

VINTAGE | Since you’re in the neighbourhood for the Nifty For Fifty Sale already, you might as well tack on a scoot down to the ANZA Club for a flip through the Frugal Fashionista Market. Organizers have assembled used and vintage clothing experts, retailers and stylists to outfit stalls and tables with loads of great deals for your sponge shopping pleasure.
Sun, April 14 | 12-6pm | Anza Club (3 W. 8th Ave) | $2 | DETAILS

SUNDAY SCHOOL | The Vancouver Urban Winery kicks off a series of laid-back and ‘irreverent’ wine education classes this week. Hosted by sommeliers David Stansfield and Lisa Cook, Sunday School wine classes are intended to be a fun and informal introduction to drinking, buying and talking wine without any pomp. The first in the series of seminars, Wine 101: A World Tour of Wine, will furnish attendees with flights of wine to help them taste the difference between wines produced in different regions around the world – there is no better way to learn than to experience, right? Upcoming classes: April 28, BC vs. The World; May 12, Better Know a BC Winery: Joie Farms and May 26, How to Buy Wine and Influence People.
Sun, April 14 | 7pm | 55 Dunlevy Ave | $35/$120 for 4 classes | DETAILS

SPRING | Along with daffodil-studded boulevards, cherry blossoms and occasional blue skies, the annual Spring perogy lunch at the Ukrainian Cultural Centre in Strathcona is a sure indicator of the true arrival of the most welcome of seasons. In addition to the shining linoleum floored basement lined with communal lunch tables ready for plates of home-made borscht, perogies and kielbasa, there will be a bazaar and kids swap meet to pick though. Leave with a full belly and a few treasures from the sale, grab a cup of tea at The Wilder Snail and then park your bum in MacLean Park for a hang out session (weather permitting).
Sun, April 14 | 11am | Ukrainian Cultural Centre (805 E Pender) Street | DETAILS

ZERO WASTE | This is Earth Month, folks. Join Marnie Newell from The Society Promoting Environmental Conservation and Jen Rustemeyer from The Clean Bin Project at The Homesteader’s Emporium for a Zero Waste Kitchen and Bath Workshop that will teach you how to throw fewer things out.
Sun, April 14 | 2-3:30pm | Homesteader’s Emporium (at 649 E Hastings St) | DETAILS

HUNGRY HERONS | Great blue herons are busily having babies right now. Head down to the Stanley Park Nature House on the edge of Lost Lagoon to learn about Vancouver’s heron population, their mating habits and the unique ways in which they feed and care for their offspring. Pre-registration for this program is advised. Email programs@stanleyparkecology.ca
Sun, April 14 | 1:30pm-3:30pm | Stanley Park Nature House | By Donation | DETAILS

FOOD | Hustle down to Barbara-Jo’s Books To Cooks on Sunday afternoon for a visit (and a little bit of food truck love) with James Cunningham, host of TV’s Eat Street. Cunningham will be on site (along with Vikram Vij who will be cooking from Vij’s Railway Express menu) to bring Vancouver the Eat Street cookbook, which is full of recipes from food trucks and street vendors. The price of your ticket includes refreshments and a signed book.
Sunday, April 14 | 2pm | 1740 West 2nd Ave | $25 | DETAILS

Check the Globe & Mail every Thursday for our Special Weekend Edition of the Scout List

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Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s shops and streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy, and uncooperative camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES: On Unhappy Airports And Making Light Of Canada’s Wonderland

by Sean Orr | Two Canadians involved in Algerian terrorism attack. “How could anyone from this quiet, comfortable, middle-class neighbourhood end up waging jihad”? Holy shit! Do you still not know anything about terrorism? London, Madrid, New York – they were all quiet, comfortable, and middle-class…

Not a parody: Canada’s Wonderland. If I was someone who bought The National Review I would totally get the joke. But I’m not, so I don’t.

A cheap holiday in someone else’s misery: Hunger striker “Homeless Dave” brings Downtown Eastside demands to Vancouver City Hall. I hate to be cynical (even though it’s sort of my mandate), but what if Homeless Dave was given a home? Would he be all like, “Oh snap! See ya guys! I gotta move my stuff into this sweet new converted hotel that may or may not have bedbugs”, or would he be more like “Thanks, but I’m gonna keep calling myself Homeless Dave”?

A cheap nightmare in someone else’s holiday: Granville: regular street by day, low-rent Mardi Gras by night accompanied by police, ambulances, clean-up crews. Is this is good idea?. If you think the above two links are not related I’ll see your stupor and raise you a Balmoral, Savoy, Pantages, Blinding Light, Smiling Buddha, Niagara, Pig and Whistle, Brickyard, Town Pump, Columbia, and The Pic.

A microcosm: Vancouver airport ‘one of the unhappiest places on Earth’. Yup, welcoming people to the Best Place on Earth while trying to survive in the Most Expensive Place on Earth must get a wee tiresome.

Vancouver second-most traffic-congested city in N. America. And let’s keep it that way, thank you. Also, buy way more buses now.

Hot and Cold: British Columbia’s Carbon Tax Freeze “Not Cool” Says ForestEthics Advocacy. Keep in mind that this is the same government that unfroze tuition fees and froze minimum wage. So what do we do? Freeze the Liberals and unfreeze the NDP or what?

Shine a light: Sunshine Listing the Fraser Institute. Wow, please keep coming up with amazing, poetic headlines like that. Thanks.

Beatroute on Yuxweleptun: The Unspoken Conversation.

Bonus: Meet John.

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Luongo’s Contract And How To Make That Much Money In BC

by Sean Orr | In the wake of today’s NHL Trade Deadline, which came and went with Luongo not being moved, the tweet of the day has to go to Pass it to Bulis:

I’ll gladly take Luongo’s contract if he doesn’t want it.

— Pass it to Bulis (@passittobulis) April 3, 2013

TransLink head Ian Jarvis tops salary rankings for local government employees. Or, how to make as much money as Luongo: take hold of a quasi-government corporation like ICBC, BC Ferries or Translink; run it into the ground; cash-in.

The Russians Muslims Asians are coming! Whites to become minority in Metro Vancouver by 2031. Or, when racist jokes replace thoughtful commentary:

Question: What river separates China and India?

Answer: the Fraser River (which separates Richmond and Surrey).

Really? That’s just so cringeworthy.

Not to mention: Vancouver’s old Chinatown Still Here – As the city’s neighbourhood ‘revitalizes,’ its Chinese-speaking seniors struggle for resources. No, really — do not mention it.

Not helping: Violent protesters go off-menu. Wherein poor old Macleans enters the “Gentrification War” by inventing/editorializing it. I mean, destruction of property is pretty desperate, as is stealing a sign, but there’s no need to go and call it a war. Old coots.

Stephen Hume: Fraser Institute’s tax-exempt status makes mockery of its recent report. Keynes for the rich and Friedman for the poor.

New Dems Poised to Inherit a BC Shaped by Neoliberalism. Question is, what will they do to restore the social safety net?

Reason for walk makes Corporate Canada uncomfortable. Psst! I hear the Catholic Church has a bunch of money…

Speaking of money: The Trouble with FACTOR.

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Moral Romanticism And The Prick Cop With A Charming Accent

by Sean Orr | Oh, neo-liberalism, I love thee: Yahoo! Exclusive: B.C. NDP leader Adrian Dix finds common ground with Stephen Harper. Usually you wait until you’re in office before making concessions to the Feds. Oh, and this isn’t an April Fools gag.

Speaking of gagging, the following video makes me ill (sort of like watching that Kevin Ware injury video over and over): Police Complaints Commission notified after Vancouver cop caught on video punching cyclist. On a side note, I’m pretty sure this is the same cop that harassed me during Occupy Vancouver. Don’t let his charming accent fool you. He’s just a prick.

All in the family: Sheila Orr, Christy Clark Apologist. Because I already got in trouble with my family during the 2005 election when I ran for MLA under the Green Party banner, (I called Auntie Sheila an obsequious fake), I’ll just let Alex G. Taskumis do the talking (he also goes after the Tyee for this ad hominem attack extraordinaire).

Elizabeth May takes on Parliamentary privilege: “We are not here as teams. The principle of Westminster parliamentary democracy is that we are here as representatives of our constituencies and our constituents. We are merely incidentally members of political parties”.

Shame: Racist Nanaimo Newspaper Letter Rebuttal: Educate Canadians To Be Knowledgeable Citizens. The letter itself is laughably archaic — a simple re-write of White Man’s Burden with a “concerned tax-payer” quill. I’d like to tie Don Olsen to a totem pole and read Guns, Germs, and Steel aloud to him in a bad Australian accent.

Toronto Man’s Burden: Homeless in the Downtown Eastside: Journey to the dark side of town. As long as this moral romanticism like this continues it will always be “the dark side of town”.

How NIMBY stupidity is stifling urban bars and restaurants—and blocking a major opportunity for small-business growth. Oh, weird. This happens in other cities too?

Bonus: Ancient Sumerian Origins of the Easter Story. Happy Ishtar!

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Wretching Over Chai & The Real Anarchists Of Vancouver

by Sean Orr | Debate over sexist Clark coverage ramps up. Well, for some, when comes down to it, Dix are always going to be better.

I’ve got a huge election: NDP candidate uses dog jackets as campaign signs; have the ‘dog wars’ just begun?. “His Liberal opponent, former mayor Sam Sullivan, says the idea makes sense in Vancouver-False Creek riding”. And the glib, obsequious response from Sullivan is what we’ve come to expect. “We had to go with Chai tea and biscotti,” he said. “That just shows you how different this riding is.” Ugh, sometimes I physically wretch when reading the news, so for those of you who call my attitude “flippant”, just remember that the above quote caused me great physical distress.

When they say “foreign investment” they are just saying that for most British Columbians, investment is a foreign concept. Empty Condos and foreign investors: Sign of the times or synonyms for racism? Yeah, but for a publication like The Mainlander, the only thing worse than empty condos are condos with people in them.

Editorial: Open port crucial to healthy economy. You mean drugs? Oh, coal! “Mayor Gregor Robertson’s recent call for a $3-billion subway line to UBC shows he understands the need for money to maintain and expand services in Vancouver”. Oh, I see. Because we used to ship coal, we should continue to. Except that we long ago realized that if we kept burning coal a giant fucking black cloud would form and threaten the health of millions.

School shooter in video game targets Port Moody Secondary (video). Instead of banning it they should make it required curriculum. This is a generation raised on Grand Theft Auto. They generally do not walk around stealing cars at gunpoint. If every kid had the chance to virtually shoot-up their school, perhaps they would never find the need to actually do it.

Fur flies as Real Housewives of Vancouver star’s store vandalized by animal activists. Protest as spectacle. How long before they start casting The Real Anarchists of Vancouver? [ed. note: we just secured the TM]

Vancouver ranked 52nd best Canadian city, worse than Mississauga, Winnipeg. I once accidentally found myself in Mississauga. Let me tell you, this headline is a huge dis.

You go to art show? Enormous Fictions.

SCOUT LIST: 10 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now & Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours…

ELECTRIC CAR | If you think electric cars are just breaking on to the scene, think again. They’ve been trying to get our attention for a century now. Amazed? Fill in the blanks with a screening of 100 Years of the Electric Car on Tuesday night. The show is followed by an illustrated lecture on electric vehicles with a BC context courtest of electric vehicle advocate John Stonier. Peek inside a 1912 Detroit Electric Model 3.1 and a brand new Chevy Volt, and generally get yourself up-to-speed with the entire concept by chatting with reps from The Vancouver Electric Vehicle Association and General Motors.
Tues, Mar. 19 | 7:30 – 9pm | University Women’s Club | 1498 McRae Ave | $12 | DETAILS 

FOR REAL | Spring gets real this week. The Vernal Equinox (March 20 at 4:03am) officially signals the beginning of longer days and (fingers crossed) warmer weather. And not a minute too soon! Enough with the cold and dark business! It’s time to turn soil and take in all the cherry blossoms, t-shirts and dresses. Pack up the hats and gloves and break out a nice bottle of celebration. If you’re looking for a community event to mark the occasion with – head over to Renfrew Ravine Park for a Spring Equinox Labyrinth Walk.
Wed, Mar. 20 | 4pm | Renfrew Ravine Park (Renfrew @ E 24th Ave) | Free | DETAILS 

IL GIARDINO | Make some time in your schedule to slip down to Umberto’s Il Giardino for a glass of wine and a plate of antipasto before the restaurant is gone forever. Yup, after 37 years in business, Il Giardino closes it’s doors on April 15th and reservations for these last days are getting increasingly difficult to snag. As a Vancouver food lover, you are honour bound to take this opportunity to sit in the room with so much culinary history. It once upon a time set the bar for fine dining in this city, training and employing dozens of people who went on to serve, cook, and manage local restaurants. It also set a few icons on towards restaurants of their own (think Pino Posteraro of Cioppino’s and John Bishop of Bishop’s).
Now through April 15 | Il Giardino Restaurant (1382 Hornby St) | DETAILS 

DRAWFORTH | East Van artist Ehren Salazar is showing his work (charcoal portraits and landscapes) in a solo exhibit at Kafkas Coffee House beginning Thursday night. You may know him as the long-time Director of Little Mountain Gallery. He recently stepped down from the role in order to concentrate on his artwork. We highly recommend stopping in to check it out.
Thurs, March 21 | 8pm | Kafkas Coffee House (2525 Main St) | Free | DETAILS 

SUPPORT LOCAL | Portobello West is holding a Spring Market this weekend. Flip through clothing, accessories and trinkets from loads of local designers; eat well (Mix Bakery will be there, along with La Chocolaterie); and enjoy the gorgeous setting. Grab a cuppa and a hot crossed bun at Terra Breads and then take a stroll along the seawall afterwards.
Sat + Sun, Mar. 23 + 24 | 11am -5pm | Creekside Community Centre | $2 | DETAILS 

VANCOUVER FASHION | Check out the latest from up-and-coming local designers as well as award-winning talent from around the world at Vancouver Fashion Week. There’s something pretty great about sitting in a crowded room watching models strut the runway with flashes going off – it’s an energy that just can’t be explained. So get yourself a ticket(s) and feel it for yourself. VFW takes place at the Chinese Cultural Centre until Sunday. We recommend pre and post-show drinks at the Keefer, Bao Bei, The Parker or The Union.
Mar. 19-24 | Various times | Chinese Cultural Centre (50 E. Pender) | DETAILS 

GET GROWING | Evidence of Spring is already pushing through the soil. Don’t miss out in the fun! Get growing! The ladies of Victory Gardens are offering a workshop this Saturday morning that will walk you through the basics of preparing your garden for a season of plentiful food production. Not only will participants leave schooled on the importance of compost and soil, they’ll also have some crucial understanding of timing (which edible plants will do well in Vancouver soil, how to sew seeds and then transplant seedlings from pot to garden, and so on). Each participant will receive a pack of seeds. The perfect way to start the first week of Spring!
Sat, Mar. 23 | 10:30am | 151 W 1st Ave | $18 | DETAILS

LEARN | The Homesteader’s Emporium on East Hastings is offering a Introduction to Sausage and Charcuterie Making workshop this Saturday. Presenter Rick Havlak, owner of Homesteader’s, is an amateur sausage maker on the side (as well as an amateur wine and beer maker, bee keeper, cheese maker and probably candlestick maker). Rick’s workshop is not intended to be a professional sausage-making gig,  but rather a fun and informative workshop that will incorporate a demonstration of the basic principals and processes involved in making tasty cured meats and sausages. Participants will have the opportunity to check out equipment and ask questions and talk meat amongst themselves. “Topics covered will include fresh, smoked, and cured sausage as well as cured whole cuts (e.g. prosciutto), with tips and safety concerns discussed throughout.” Sold!
Sat, Mar. 23 | Homesteader’s Emporium (649 East Hastings) | Suggested donation: $5 | DETAILS 

HEADS-UP | The Vancouver Writers Fest might not officially go down until October, but the Writers Fest staff make a point of bringing us some pretty amazing speakers all year round. Case in point, this coming Monday night the VIWF presents and evening with Canadian journalist and human rights activist Sally Armstrong. Not only has Armstrong travelled extensively through ‘zones of conflict’ around the world, but she’s also a member of the Order of Canada and the International Women’s Commission at the UN. She has also penned four books – Veiled Threat: The Hidden Power of the Women of Afghanistan, The Nine Lives of Charlotte Taylor and Bitter Roots, Tender Shoots: The Uncertain Fate of Afghanistan’s Women, and most recently, Ascent of Women.
Mon, Mar. 25 | 7:30 pm | St. Andrew’s-Wesley United Church | $21 | DETAILS 

Check the Globe & Mail every Thursday for our Special Weekend Edition of the Scout List

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Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s shops and streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy, and uncooperative camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES: On The Perils Of Herbal Tea And Protestors Dressed As Big Vaginas

by Sean Orr | I saved Latin. What did you ever do? Chinese signs in Richmond ‘way out of hand’, says delegation appealing for more English. This is the same thing as moving to Southern California and complaining about all the Spanish everywhere. There is only one bi-lingual province in Canada and it’s called New Brunswick.

Fewer people sleeping on Vancouver streets, homeless count finds. Oh good! They’ve either all died or found a place to live!

World needs a steep learning curve on brewing controversy. Yup, tea. It’s what Baby Boomers are now talking about when they admonish Generation Y for not growing up.

And speaking of brewing, the group of First Nations youths nearing Ottawa are being almost completely ignored by Big Media: The Quest for Unity.

The sword of Damocles: BC Has Plenty of Room to Raise Taxes. In other words: damned if you do, damned if you don’t. “Next time someone says we can’t, here are debunking facts”. Go ahead and bookmark this story in preparation of The Prov/Sun running a loop of anti-tax editorials between now until the election.

GreenNDP vote-splitting a ‘non-issue’. More people don’t vote at all than vote for the Greens, Liberals, and NDP combined.

Snakehead of the Year: That Dragon’s Not Breathing Fire. Oh, weird. Hockey is totally sexist?

Bwahaha! Cyclists should pay for their own pumps. To all the sweet, archaic, predictable curmudgeons — we salute you!

Huge balls: Stephen Woodworth, Anti-Abortion MP, Shouted Down By Protester Dressed As Vagina. I love the hushed voices in the video: “Uh yeah…so maybe we should pack this up”. Haha. That’s best idea you’ve ever had!

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Main Street Condos & An Old Man’s Opinion On Harm Reduction

by Sean Orr | Borderline offensive: The CBSA and reality television. To be fair, I’d be totally paranoid and constantly on guard if I had to work next to the United States everyday. “As usual, however, the human lives which accompany that desperately needed labour has now proven itself inconvenient”.

Doug Christie: The Unauthorized Obituary. “Free speech is the one thing you have to give to your worst enemy if you want to keep it for yourself,” The Tyee quotes Christie, adding, ”It’s a fine sentiment, of course, but one Christie did not practice”. I don’t usually like to speak ill of the dead,. but good riddance, sir.

Related: A new look at Calgary’s Neo-Nazi movement.

Jon Ferry’s ideas still messed up: Harm reduction just keeps addicts enslaved. News flash: so does jail.

Liquefaction: Climate Change, NDP economics and the Tunnel. “This means no expansion of oilsands, no new pipelines (like Keystone and Northern Gateway) and no expansion of coal mines and coal ports.” Because man, when that shit runs out we are fucked!

The politics of hockey and the hockey of politics: The centre position is looking decidedly lame and the defence is as lefty as most of the voters in this province.

People are finally listening to me! Vancouver’s last remaining porn theatre gets new lease on life.

Nobody is listening to me! Main Street condos on the radar of Mount Pleasant residents. The home of Vancouver’s first skyscraper, the former “busiest intersection in BC” and future home of a rapid transit line to UBC (next door to a brand new community centre and a brand new brewery) says no to a 9 story building. First Rize, then The Poodle…I am really starting to hate Mount Pleasant. I mean, what exactly do they have against density around major transit hubs? Isn’t that sort of the plan? It’s not like they are mowing down all those heritage homes in the Tea Swamp. It’s a former used car dealership!

The Poorhouse: Food banks may compound the very problems they should be solving.

TEA & TWO SLICES: On The End Of Mista Muggins & Living Large At The Paper Trail

by Sean Orr | Keep it rolling: B.C. Premier Christy Clark criticized for joke about her ex-husband. At this point, Adrian Dix’s best tactic would be to show a 3 hour live special of just Christy Clark saying stupid shit. Someone should ask her how she stays current.

Christy Clark brushes off criticism from Kevin Falcon about wood building. We could probably build the world’s tallest building out of the contracts that the BC Liberals have awarded their friends. And I’m sure Bob Rennie could market the shit out of it. You can see it now: “Come live at The Paper Trail, the world’s most exciting experiment in sustainable architecture!”

Speaking of sustainable: Bill 8 – Mass Virtual Privatization of BC’s forests. There’s nothing British about B.C. anymore. We’re basically just Columbia now.

Underground railway: People not happy about proposed coal expansion project. I’ve said it before: the big oil and gas corps will keep ramrodding us with projects and one of them is bound to sneak through unnoticed. Think Kitimat LNG, Kinder Morgan, Enbridge, FannyBay, and so on. “They say it’s bad for the environment and their health”. Pfft! Who are these people and what do they know about “the environment” and “their health”? That’s for us to decide!

Does UBC president Stephen Toope want a subway or not? How about a transit tunnel like they have in Seattle?

Skytrain for Surrey: Debunking myths: LRT will bring mid-rises, SkyTrain will bring towers.

What inner city? Inner city schools funding to collapse.

Regulate me: ‘They treated me like a drug rat in a lab,’ says woman who spent time at Maples Adolescent Treatment Centre. Hey, don’t knock it ’til you try it.

Potentially fun city? City mulls over regulating the underground. More bureaucratic nonsense?

In memoriam: DTES cat Mista Muggins and Mushroom Studios (“Built long before the surrounding condos”).

SCOUT LIST: 10 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now & Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours…

AFFORDABLE ART | If you like the idea of furnishing your walls with original art but don’t have a full-blown art collector’s budget, you’ll want to check out Uncovered Vancouver this weekend. The collaborative effort from a group of 13 students from Vancouver’s Visual College of Arts and Design will fill the walls of The Chinatown Experiment with 26 pieces of original art priced between $100 and $250. Art work will be available for purchase beginning at noon on Thursday until 7pm. Organisers aim to sell every one of the 26 pieces by 7pm and then throw a party to celebrate (cover for the party portion of the event will include music courtesy of Chapel Sound and Cariboo Brewing beer with proceeds going to the Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre)
Thu, Mar. 14 | Sale 12-7pm, Party 7-11pm | The Chinatown Experiment (434 Columbia St) | $5 | DETAILS

ST PATRICKS DAY CRAIC | Craic is an Irish term for “mischievous fun, entertainment, good conversation and company”, and a proper one is often accompanied by a wee bit of cleansing ale. In anticipation of St. Patrick’s Day, a couple of fun-loving Vancouverites have rallied together to put on a Craic at the Anza Club this Friday night. The evening includes a set from Celtic band The Halifax Wharf Rats, $3 Bowen Island beer and lots of beer pong. That has all the makings of a good Friday night, wouldn’t you say?
Fri, Mar. 15 | 8pm | Anza Club (3 W 8 Ave) | $20 at the door | DETAILS 

FIGHT CLUB | The Rio Theatre is showing a sweet line-up of modern cult classics for their Friday Late Night Movies series this month. This Friday night brings the original 35mm print of Fight Club. $2 off the price of admission if you arrive in costume, so break out the red leather jackets and sunglasses and put those two bucks toward a cold beer (for the shiners) and some buttered popcorn.
Fri, Mar. 15 | 11pm | Rio Theatre (1660 E Broadway) | $8 | DETAILS

WHISK(E)Y TASTING | Fuck line ups, green beer and sparkling, shamrock-adorned hats. Celebrate Ireland’s patron saint on the eve of the madness known as St Patrick’s Day with a civilized whisk(e)y tasting at The Shebeen. A seat will get you a deep flight of Jameson whiskies, a traditional meal of house-made corned beef with colcannon (cabbage and potatoes), and a dessert of Okanagan fruit bread pudding with whiskey cream. Don’t wait on this! Score tickets before it’s sold out!
Sat, Mar. 16 | 7pm | The Shebeen at The Irish Heather (210 Carrall St) | DETAILS 

NIGHT FOREST | Shadows, noises, animal calls and the sound of snapping branches – walking through Pacific Spirit Regional Park at night can be an intimidating prospect! It’s best to do it in a group. Follow a guide and add more than a few cheerful lanterns and all of a sudden you have a pretty magical Saturday night. That opportunity presents itself this weekend when The Pacific Spirit Regional Park Society hosts Night Quest. A gentle 2km walk along a lantern-lit trail, this is an outdoor evening of storytelling, campfire music and a bit of wildlife education. Wear your gumboots, pack a flashlight and bring a travel mug as well as a pocket full of change to use at the pop-up Girl Guide concession. Read that again: Girl Guide concession!
Sat, Mar. 16 | 7-10pm | Pacific Spirit Regional Park, 16th Ave Park Entrance | DETAILS

NEWS! | The Presentation House Satellite Gallery is currently exhibiting a show comprised of hundreds of thousands of images taken from the news photography archives of The Vancouver Sun and Province newspapers. Not only do the walls of the Satellite evidence a progression of the style and craft of news photography, they also tell the story of the evolution of a city through the eyes of its many news photographers (1880s to the 1990s). This weekend the Satellite Gallery presents a panel discussion with some of those very same photographers!
Sat, Mar. 16 | 3pm | Satellite Gallery (560 Seymour St) | DETAILS

BUY LOCAL | The Winter Farmers Market fills the Nat Bailey Stadium parking lot on Saturday. Stinging nettles are in season and there are usually some kicking around the market. Full of iron and tasting like spring, pick them up and feast upon them while you can. Also hook yourself up with hearty root vegetables, fresh bread, dried fruits and scores of other locally-grown goodies.
Sat, Mar. 16 | 10am – 2pm | East Parking Lot of Nat Bailey Stadium 4601 Ontario St | DETAILS

OWLS | Hustle down to the Stanley Park Pavilion this Sunday to learn about owls. In addition to imparting all kinds of birds-of-prey knowledge, representatives of The Stanley Park Ecology Society will also provide you with specimens to explore as you learn about unique characteristics and adaptations of these local birds. You’ll even get the chance to dissect owl pellets to see what critters ended up as an owl’s meal. Pre-registration is suggested for this popular event. Get yourself sorted by sending an email to programs@stanleyparkecology.ca.
Sun, Mar. 17 | 1:30 pm – 3:30 pm | Salmonberry Room -Stanley Park Pavilion | DETAILS

UPCYCLED URBANISM | This Sunday, the Museum of Vancouver plays host to the third in a series of four workshops aimed at brainstorming new public spaces. Professional planners, architects, makers and thinkers will be on hand to facilitate a collaborative process that uses hands-on exercises to explore ways in which physical infrastructure in public space can influence how we connect with others. Participants will use modular blocks, imagination and teamwork to design Vancouver-inspired spaces aimed at encouraging a stronger, more vibrant community. Later this summer (July), groups will have the opportunity to come together again to build their creations at a large-scale outdoor event.
Sun, Mar. 17 | 2pm | Museum of Vancouver (1100 Chestnut St.) | $12 | DETAILS 

WHALE MIGRATION | This is migration season for Pacific Grey whales. They’re on their way from their breeding grounds off of Mexico’s Baja Peninsula to their summer digs in the Bering Sea. That’s over 20,000 Greys cruising up the coast of BC this spring, with the bulk of them doing it over the next few weeks. With a front row seat to the migration route, the towns of Tofino and Ucluelet are now in their 27th year of holding The Pacific Rim Whale Festival. It’s a 10 day whale watching and learning bonanza that celebrates whales and marine nature as well as those aspects of West Coast living unique to the region. In addition to free whale watching stations and scores of whale watching boat and float plane tours, the Pacific Rim Whale Festival offers everything from marine life lectures and walks to storytelling (with artist, Roy Henry Vickers), an Electric Gumboot Bash, and everything in between.
Sat, Mar. 16 – Sun, Mar. 24 | Tofino and Ucluelet | DETAILS 

Check the Globe & Mail every Thursday for our Special Weekend Edition of the Scout List

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Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s shops and streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy, and uncooperative camera.

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