TEA & TWO SLICES | On Peeping Drones & Kerrisdale Likened To A Bastion Of Marxism

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by Sean Orr | Seizing the means of reduction: Urbanization: Who’d have guessed? Kerrisdale as a bastion of Marxism. It’s a good article, but seizing land is hardly a Marxist thing to do. Just ask our First Nations. Or simply watch this show for children.

Capital Regional District decides not to expropriate Grace Islet. Especially fitting that this story should published in the Times-Colonist

Speaking of expropriation: Don’t Let Rich People Own Apartments They Don’t Live In. Good idea. Maybe we could create an apartment-sharing social enterprise and call it Zipartment.

Pete McMartin: Keep our roads safe — ban cars. If it sounds like hyperbole, it is. And that’s the point. I linked to this before, and I’m doing it again: Why Bikes Make Smart People Say Dumb Things.

Making a window out of concrete: Gag order to be imposed on new RCMP transparency office. We’re going to give you this whistle, OK? And if anything seems strange, you go into this sound-proof isolation booth and blow it so nobody can hear you, OK?

Emails show federal officials worried about second Idle No More movement. Wait…does this mean that the Idle No More movement actually went idle at some point? Worried is a good word for it. Terrified is another.

Dudette Relaxing Recreation Area: Dude Chilling Park sign vandalized again. I can’t think of a better place to discuss the merits of feminism than the comments section of Vancity Buzz.

Did you see it? Huge meteor spotted across Southern BC. Are you sure it wasn’t a UFO or a peeping drone?

Steve Moore, Todd Bertuzzi Settlement Reached Decade After On-Ice Attack. Even so, Bertuzzi-ing remains a huge problem on Vancouver’s streets.

TEA & TWO SLICES | On CP Rail’s PR Fail & Another Old White Guy Whining About Weed

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by Sean Orr | Free Canada, Trade Harper: Canada’s wine industry may face restrictions if leaked EU trade deal is accurate. Are you sure you want to wake the beast within wine drinkers? Best comment: “Who cares a fiddlers foot about the wind industry” (sic).

Community hardens, rails against bullying: Arbutus Corridor Bulldozing By CP Rail Begins. Surprised there weren’t any concerned Kitsilanoans chained up to the bulldozers. If only it were a bike path

One way to really Save On Meats: Food supplier claims Save On Meats owner Mark Brand stiffed it on bills.

This hurts my noodle: ‘Pastafarian’ fights to wear colander in B.C. driver’s licence photo. For what it’s worth, I didn’t even have to strain myself to think of a pun for this one.

Salmon Cannon Shoots Fish Over Dams. That’s Right—A Fish Cannon. Yeah, I’ll believe that when Pinks fly.

Creator of SkyTrain massacre video game defends work. Well, at least he’s not the one conflating realities: “It takes place in an actual Vancouver Skytrain…” Nope. No it doesn’t. For the record, it takes place on a computer. “Is this game going to make any money?” Yeah, because that’s what really matters. “Scott joins us today from the Main Street Skytrain Station. Scott, do you see anyone – anyone at all – there today, on any sort of rampage?” “No Mike, but time can only tell…”

Concrete crashes onto sidewalk in Downtown Eastside. Is (this Concord Pacific-owned) building now a metaphor on real estate speculation and corporate squatting?

TransLink considers changing name of Evergreen Line. Hmm, they must have seen Scout’s Nevergreen Line entry.

Old white dude writes anti-pot editorial: Legalizing dope would cost everybody. “When dope is legalized in Canada, will that mean our co-workers can get stoned on the job every day, dumping more work on the rest of us?” Hey look, just because you’re legally allowed to get drunk and pen ridiculous opinion pieces doesn’t mean the rest of us are as irresponsible as you are. Also, taxes.

Has it been a year already? The Worst of Vancouver, 2014 Edition: “Winners”.

TEA & TWO SLICES | On Getting Denied At Diner En Blanc And Pipeline Sentimentalism

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by Sean Orr | A guest writer in The Province is anti-anti-everything: B.C.’s anti-everything movement needs to end. He needs to be reminded that the people who are against the pipelines aren’t anti-resource. They are merely against the unsustainable and destructive practices of fracking and the tar sands. Moreso, they’re against wholesale extraction that only benefits crony corporations with no benefit to the public. “You only have to consider the facts”, he writes, offering anecdotes about mother, his friends, and a $900 mountain bike.

But then again, ‘Responsible capitalism’ is nonsense.

Kevin O’Leary leaves CBC’s The Lang & O’Leary Exchange. Awesome, now all that’s left is for him to leave Canada.

Low-hanging fruit: Rob Ford says threatening email has given him 12 hours to resign or City Hall will be blown up.

Cuts like a knife: Bryan Adams Slams Stephen Harper For Canada’s Gaza Stance. Leading to the Tweet of the day:

Schadenfreude level 10: Sold-out Diner en Blanc leaves thousands of Vancouverites seeing red. Aw, let’s all feel bad for the poor elitists who didn’t make the cut.

Did you hear the one about the mother who moved into the DTES and was surprised to find the DTES

Related: Let’s work to radically change Vancouver.

Man without tattoo found living in East Van. Sigh. Judging by the comments below the piece I think we might need a local version of Literally Unbelievable.

Craigslist of the Day: 10 / hr to sit in a car.

Bonus: Lewis Found.

SCOUT LIST | Ten Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

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by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. You can also check it out in the Globe & Mail, from our calendar to theirs…and yours! 

FILM | The kickass Film Noir series continues at The Cinematheque this week. Get your fix of dark and sexy vintage movies including Niagara (starring Marilyn Monroe), Detective Story (Kirk Douglas), and The Lady from Shanghai (Rita Hayworth).
Now through Aug. 28 | Various times | Pacific Cinematheque (1131 Howe St) | $11 | DETAILS

SHIPYARDS | The North Vancouver Shipyards Twilight Market happens goes down on Friday night at North Van’s Shipbuilder’s Square. You can wander the pier, docks, and port-side paths while listening to live music and scarfing good food. Yup, in addition to a line-up of 15 food trucks, you can expect farmer’s market-style stalls, baked goods, preserves, popsicles, and pie. Bonus: cold beer at the beer garden.
Fri, Aug. 15 | 5-10pm | Shipbuilders’ Square, North Vancouver | DETAILS

RACES | Friday night is race night at Hastings Racecourse. The first horses leave the gate at 7pm and the excitement keeps up at a fast clip thereafter. Wear a fancy hat or a bow-tie if you want. No one will give a shit either way. The only “cup” here is made of plastic and it’s filled with beer.
Fri, Aug. 15, 22, 29 | 7 pm | Hastings Racecourse, Gate 6 or 9, PNE | DETAILS

SUMMER MARKET EXPLOSION | Hawkers Market and Eastside Flea join forces this weekend for a full day of fun. The day side of the equation will focus on the goods of the 50+ vendors that Eastside Flea has assembled, while the evening will be more about music, food, and drink (think 33 Acres beer, Disco Cheetah tacos, Nuez Milk, Jonny Pops, Salty Cookie Co.). It all starts at the civilized, post-espresso hour of 10am with the good vibes continuing until late at night.
Sat, Aug. 16 | 10am-late | The Independent (188 Kingsway) | $10/$15 at the door | DETAILS

CELEBRATE | Latin Fest goes down in Trout Lake Park this Sunday. With an artisan craft market, authentic Latin food, live music and dancing demonstrations, the park will be jumping. Add to that the possibility of authentic tamales and some Pão de Queijo and Sunday is looking pretty good. You won’t be the only one there, so consider taking public transit (Trout Lake is a short and pleasant walk from the Commercial Drive Skytrain Station).
Sun, Aug. 17 | noon – 7 pm | Trout Lake Park | FREE | DETAILS

PNE | The Pacific National Exhibition opens this week, so treat yourself to a wander through Playland and the fairgrounds. Feast upon mini-doughnuts, throw a few balls at something, take a ride, and try not to puke. The 2014 PNE will include a time warp concert series (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play this Saturday night, as well as Air Supply, Trooper and Chilliwack on upcoming dates), plus farm animals and, get this, a Game of Thrones travelling exhibition that shows off a collection of nearly 100 GOT artifacts.
Aug. 16 – Sept. 1 | 11 am-11 pm | Pacific National Exhibition | DETAILS

LEARN | Adaptation and Evolution in the Park is a walk put on by the Stanley Park Ecology Society this Sunday that will take a look at ways in which these processes are evidenced in the context of Stanley Park. From the SPES: “Relationships between pollinators and plants, or trees and mycelium, are the result of a millenia’s worth of selective pressures. Join us to learn about where these and other unique adaptations have come from and where they might be going.” Science is such a turn-on, isn’t it? To attend, simply meet at the Stanley Park Nature House (located at the south-east shore of Lost Lagoon underneath the viewing plaza) at 1:30pm on Sunday with $5 in your pocket.
Sun, Aug. 17 | 1:30-3:30pm | Stanley Park Nature House | $5 | DETAILS

TOFINO LANTERN FESTIVAL | If you can slip out of town this coming weekend, head to Tofino as this Sunday brings with it the annual Lantern Festival at the Tofino Botanical Gardens. Beginning at dusk, locals and travellers alike gather carrying lanterns. As darkness falls a slow-moving procession floats through the garden paths, along the edges of ponds and through forests alight with the gentle glow of handmade and imaginative lantern installations. The whole experience is sort of like stumbling into a dream or a really mellow acid trip. One of our favourite Tofino events!
Sun, Aug. 17 | 7-10:30 pm in the Tofino Botanical Gardens | $12 | DETAILS

OKANAGAN FEAST OF FIELDS | Alternatively, head to the Okanagan for the 6th annual Okanagan Feast of Fields at the Okanagan Lavender & Herb Farm near Kelowna. The 3 hour long wandering feast (literally in the fields) is one of the best on the food calendar, featuring amazing local food and drink. It’s always good times, plus the money raised goes to Farm Folk City Folk and their continued efforts to connect local farmers and food producers with local chefs. Added bonus: there will be a shuttle bus available from a number of Okanagan locations to get you to the event without your car. Tickets for this Feast as well as the Lower Mainland (September 7th) and Vancouver Island (September 14th) Feasts are available here.
Sun, Aug. 17 | 1-4pm | 4380 Takla Rd, Kelowna | $95 | DETAILS

WISDOM | Former CBC radio personality and photographer David Wisdom hosts his annual evening of art and music at the VAG on Tuesday night. It’s so popular that it’s guaranteed to be a sell out, which is why we’re telling you about it early. David Wisdom is a bit of a big deal. Not only does he have a dreamy radio voice and impressive musical knowledge (particularly on Jazz), he’s also an accomplished photographer. Wisdom’s summer slide show will review works by the artist himself, as well as some by Robert Kleyn, Karin Bubas, Carol Sawyer, Felicia Gail, Iain Ross, Laurie Papou, and Jade Blade. The ‘communal slide show’ will be accompanied by live music by Satnav.
Tue., Aug. 19 | Doors 6:15pm, 7pm | Vancouver Art Gallery | $10 | DETAILS

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late-may-2009-169Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy (but faithful) camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES | On Aboriginals Having It Easy And Please Show Us Your Boobs Day

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by Sean Orr | Mount Polley wants a cracker: Former Mount Polley Mine employee speaks out about the tailings pond breach. Is that egg on your face, Christy Clark? Oh, no…wait, it’s charcoal! It’s OK though, because the massive profits from oil and gas will mitigate small disasters like this, right?

Wrong: B.C. economy not fueled by oil and gas: report. “We know things are bad, worse than bad (…) Well I’m not going to leave you alone, I want you to get mad.”

Related: Sick of this market-driven world? You should be.

Inside Skytrain Control “At the heart of Vancouver’s Expo and Millennium SkyTrain Lines is an aging Pentium computer with 1992 software contained on floppy discs”. The dream of the 90s is alive at Translink”. (thanks to Nicholas Ellan)

Put through the grinder: Burnaby’s International Sausage House squares off against condo developers. I have to be franks, I’m going to links to the wurst Kids in the Hall sketch ever: Love and Sausages.

Speaking of sausages: Go Topless Day 2014 Vancouver. Yeah, because Vancity Buzz has always been a women’s issue blog (remember Hump Day Hottie?). This post only serves to bolster the misogyny that spawned the gimmicky Topless Day in the first place. Bros, please stick to telling us about Versace.

Pros and Condoms: Anti-gay activist cons way into Vancouver Pride Parade, hands out flyers disguised as condoms. Memo: pretending you are gay and marching in the super gay Pride Parade to protest being gay is extra gay.

Reasonable Doubt: Kwikwetlem chief story stokes racist tensions in Canada. Never mind that an Aboriginal in Canada can expect the RCMP at his door for posting a comment on Facebook, or that the Fraser Institute thinks Aboriginal students are well funded, or the legacy of our Residential School system — no, our outrage is instead directed at a chief who made some money. If only he was a Chief Executive Officer, then we’d be cool with it…

Related: New Law Requires Welfare Recipients To Submit Sweat To Prove How Hard They’re Looking For Job.

Little Mosque on the Hill: Kenney uses parliamentary email for Trudeau mosque slam. Is that really all you have?

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks” – Hamlet. Danish tourists say they are ‘horrified’ by Canadian car culture. Exhibit A: Vancouver driver in separated bike lane almost right-hooks cyclist.

Derp of the Day: Man found inside donation bin. Is there a local edition of the Darwin Awards?

TEA & TWO SLICES | On Gretzky Vs. Gaza And The Masturbation Habits Of Politicians

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by Sean Orr | Slurry in a hurry: Residents calling it an environmental disaster: tailings pond breach at Mount Polley Mine near Likely, BC. This raises the question of how likely was this event? Also, dear corporate media, this might be a good time to bring up the spectre of tax breaks and subsidies for mining corporations in BC.

Satyricon: Convicts to replace B.C. teachers says Christie Clark. Almost as good as this: Miss USA 2011 — Should Math Be Taught In Schools?

Related: Christy Clark and Gordon Campbell tied for worst premier of B.C.. You can do it, Christy! Break the stalemate!

Another poll: British Columbians are not too optimistic. You know what they say, when you’re chewing on life’s gristle, don’t grumble, give a whistle! Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

Rationalization is everything: When context is everything. Wherein mayoral candidate Lapointe compares a photo-op to de-sensitize the public to gay men kissing with a corporate publicity stunt. I mean, heaven forbid there is something in your past *cough masturbation video cough* that you might need to answer for. “We do not take a hostile view to homosexuality”. Oh great! What a marvellously progressive stance for a journalist to take! “Would it be different today? Of course. Society has thankfully evolved.” With no thanks to you.

No mainstream media outlets are reporting that local mothers and families are currently occupying MP Don Davies to protest Canadian support of the Israeli offensive in Gaza because Wayne Gretzky’s daughter’s boyfriend is a badass who clearly needs to get his act together or the damn wedding is off.

Related tweet of the day:

 

Metro Vancouver’s homeless community less transient than commonly believed. In which the Vancouver Sun spoils the lifelong image I’ve had of them riding the railroads playing harmonicas with polka-dotted bindles on their backs.

On being and nothingness: The floating life of affluent ‘transnational’ migrants. “New demographic: They are ‘global elites’, but such quasi-immigrants often lead unsatisfying, complex lives”. Oh well, as long as they aren’t happy. That’s all that really matters.

Listing of the day: Trendy 3 storey building with ground floor retail for sale. That either makes the following ironic or incredibly prophetic…

Cube Living: “On February 19 Grünenfelder began a limited release of micro-properties measuring 1 cubic foot. This innovative product addresses the stagnation and endemic unaffordability of Vancouver’s real estate market. In developing a spatial commodity that can be purchased in very small units, Cube Living is able to offer affordable properties at prices under $50! Micro-properties are an accessible solution to the inflated real estate market crisis that threatens to push Vancouver’s economy into decline”.

How Vancouver’s traffic nightmares hurt all of B.C.. Hmm, how about making public transit free?

Price weighs in with a fair counterpoint: ”We have next to zero tolerance for failure in our transit system if it happens even once or twice a year, while accepting the daily failure of a road-based system where every vehicle is a weak link. Each weekday, helicopters provide live images of accidents and back-ups; radio reports on the delays that affect thousands”.

Bonus: Most hated teams in the NHL by province, country and continent.

SCOUT LIST | Ten Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

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by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. You can also check it out in the Globe & Mail, from our calendar to theirs…and yours! 

LISTEN | Rain City Chronicles happens this Saturday. The theme for this round of storytelling is ‘The Great Outdoors’. RCC believes that everyone has a great personal story to tell and they make it their business to create opportunities for our communities to share them. Not only can attendees expect an eclectic line-up of speakers taking the stage to tell you about their best outdoor story, but once again the team aims to enhance your experience with food and drink befitting the theme. Look forward to hand-made pies from the Pie Shoppe (made using fruit grown at the UBC Farm) and botanical punch crafted with Odd Society’s Wallflower Gin. Add to that a little bluegrass music and a fresh air venue (you’re invited to bring a blanket and picnic) and this is pretty much THE perfect Saturday night. This event always sells out and we’d hate for you to miss it, so get sorted with tickets quickly here.
Sat, August 9 | 6-10pm | UBC Botanical Garden | $18 | DETAILS

PHOTOGRAPHY | Vancouver photographer Lincoln Clarkes has a new show opening at Initial Gallery this week. Clarkes has a compellingly voyeuristic style that catches moments and focuses on untold stories. As Initial Gallery explains, the artist has a gift for transforming “a glance into a scene to be noticed, to be savoured.” The show continues until August 30th but we recommend you hit the opening reception for Giving Notice on Thursday night, 6-9pm.
Thu, August 7 | 6-9pm | Initial Gallery (2339 Granville St) | Free | DETAILS

MOVIE | If the heat is getting to you and you’re ready for an air-conditioned retreat, make your way to The Rio Theatre this Friday night for the Indiana Jones Trilogy Marathon. Yup, you can dig in for over six hours of chilly air and awesome adventure. We’re talking Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade back to back to back. Add a grilled cheese and a beer and there’s no reason to leave until well after midnight. Dress up in a film related costume and take $2 off admission.
Fri, August 8 | 7pm till late | Rio Theatre (1660 E Broadway) | $8 | DETAILS

BE PRODUCTIVE | Summer isn’t particularly conducive to work. If you’ve got a project on the go that needs some attention and you think a change of scenery and a positive work environment might help speed things along, consider taking your laptop down to The Chinatown Experiment. From August 5-14, the cool little pop-up space on Columbia Street will be opening it’s doors for ten days of free co-working. Focus, connect, work, hangout – put a serious dent in that ‘To Do List’.
Now through to August 14 | 434 Columbia Street | DETAILS

ROVE | Main Street is the place to be on Thursday night. With 8 art openings happening at the same time, a slow summer stroll will pack in a lot of culture. We’re particularly stoked to check out new (sugar-coated but creepy) works by Rebecca Chaperon at the artists studio (see Rove map on link below), Two Faced (new works by Sophia Ahamed and Jose Rivas) at Hot Wet Art City, and the results of Jamie Smith’s latest project Words To Live By (the artist canvassed Vancouverites for sayings and mantras to inspire a series of paintings). Break up your gallery viewings with a beer at Brassneck or an iced coffee at Gene. For a full list of what is going on, click here.
Thu, August 7 | 6-10pm | Various Locations on Main Street | Free | DETAILS

DUMPLING TIME | The Vancouver Chinatown Festival goes down this weekend. Expect a day market loaded with potato tornados, plastic guns, sun visors, and bubble tea as well as live performances, a youth talent show, and so much more. The best part of the weekend will be the highly anticipated Golden Dumpling Cook Off and Derby. 20 restaurants (including Ask For Luigi, Bestie, Harvest Community Foods, Homer St Cafe and Bar, Maenam, Wildebeest, Vij’s, Winner Winner and returning champion, Pidgin) will compete for top prize and guests are invited to taste each competitors entry with the use of their dumpling passport ($35). This event is so sold out that there’s no point in telling you where to buy tickets, but the good news is that there will be 100 tickets available on site on the day of the cook-off (seriously, don’t expect them to last longer than a few minutes). If you miss out on the cook-off, take solace from the fact that you can watch the dumpling eating derby for free. You won’t want to eat after watching that anyway. These guys and girls eat like you’ve never seen before
Festival: August 9 & 10 | Columbia & Keefer St, Chinatown | DETAILS
Golden Dumpling Cook Off | August 10 | 12-5 | DETAILS

ICE CREAM SOCIAL | Beta5 is expanding their menu for the weekend. On Friday night (from 7 until sunset) and again on Saturday afternoon between 1 & 5 pm, the award-winning East Vancouver chocolate and pastry shop will be serving up ice cream sandwiches, sundaes, floats, and other frozen treats. A trip to Beta5 always yields good things. Indeed, the prospect of a proper sundae built by this team is a mind-blowingly attractive one, and if the window for such an indulgence is only 24hrs wide, it shouldn’t be missed!
Fri, 7-sunset | Sat, 1-5pm | 413 Industrial Avenue | DETAILS

SUPERMOON | Clear a little time on your schedule and source yourself the key ingredients (a cold beer, good friends and a view) to make the most of the rise of the full supermoon on Sunday night. The great things about a moonrise of this calibre is that it will make any view spectacular; city, country, beach or mountain — this is going to be a moon worth taking time to appreciate.
August 10 | Sunset will be at 8:38pm on Sunday

BEACH | KitsFest happens this weekend. The focus of this three day festival are all the sports that go down at the beach. Accordingly, there will be basketball, tennis and volleyball, as well as beach yoga, an outdoor screening of Nash (a documentary about the ‘unexpected journey of one of the most unique athletes in the world’). When you get tired, hungry and thirsty, refuel up Yew St. at Abigail’s Party, Nook or Hapa Izakaya.
August 8-10 | All day | Kitsilano Beach | DETAILS

HARMONY ARTS |  Scoot over the bridge for Harmony Arts Festival this weekend. Grab a cold lemonade and a wander through the craft market showcasing loads of one-of-a-kind pottery, jewellery, textiles, woodwork and glass designs all made by locals. Hang around after the sun goes down for outdoor movies, and concerts.
Now through August 10 | Ambleside, West Van | Free | DETAILS

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late-may-2009-169Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy (but faithful) camera.

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LEXICON | Defining Yogafart, Condo King, Douche Barge, Jack, Breastaurant, & More

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The Vancouver Lexicon – our A-Z dictionary of local slang, myths, legends, and such – might appear to be complete, but we mean to keep adding to it every week. Today we aim to highlight six more localisms that everyone in British Columbia should know about. They are Condo King, Douche Barge, BreastaurantYogafart, Corner Lad, and Jack.

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TEA & TWO SLICES | On Putting An End To Whale Humping And Evil Hipster Landlords

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by Sean Orr | Unfortunate self-fulfilling prophecy: Suspect sought after man stabbed on SkyTrain following Honda Celebration of Light fireworks show. Not saying we told you so, except that we totally told you so.

Forget class sizes, I’m concerned about the size of her crass: Premier’s joke falls flat with Penticton teachers.”It took them awhile to find us. We were here for three days. So I hope none of them are teaching geography’ Clark said, drawing a round of laughter and applause”. That’s almost as funny as a Premier who never earned a university degree talking about education.

Related: photo of the day.

B.C. teachers’ strike: parents to get $40 a day if strike continues. Oh, I get it. So teachers are really just glorified babysitters. That’s good to know.

In Vancouver, race undercuts the discussion on real estate affordability. Any movement that forgets about class is a bowel movement. Quote of the decade by Sid Chow Tan: “Bob Rennie standing up for the Chinese community? What Chinese community? Real estate investors and landowners. That’s the community he’s standing up for.”

Related Craigslist of the Day: “Thanks for gentrifying me out of my home you stupid fucking hipster rich kid evil landlord fuckwads.”

Related tweet of the day:

 

Tent city occupants have law on their side. Did the Vancouver Sun really just post an opinion piece by Harsha Walia? Is it really that hot out?

Occupier given city-paid phone. Wait, who are the occupiers again?

Troubled waters: Nuclear radiation found in B.C. may pose health concerns. Concerning to be sure, but the biggest concern is the following: “Recent federal government cutbacks have placed a greater burden of testing and monitoring for aquatic impacts on academics, non-governmental organizations and even private citizens”. I spent all my money on a geiger counter. Now I can’t afford to eat.

I really wish I could take a side on this whole Whales in Captivity thing. This might make it easier: Aquarium CEO likens transfer of Bjossa to trading Wayne Gretzky. That is, of course, if Wayne Gretzky was held captive inside the LA Kings dressing room and then died two years later instead of, you know, retiring as a millionaire.

But wait, he’s not done yet: Park Board Picks a Fight With Mother Nature. “For the Park Board to stop whales and dolphins from doing what comes naturally is like telling Park Board commissioners not to have sex, ever. It’s unnatural”. Wait, artificial insemination is natural?

TEA & TWO SLICES | On Living Dangerously In A Nanny State With Terrible Newspapers

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by Sean Orr | I apologise for my lack of posts last week. God forbid you had to read The Province all by yourself! My computer shut down on the same day as the Great Skytrain Crash of 2014. It turns out my little Macbook was also running the entire SkyTrain system. No wonder it was so slow!

I demand answers. I just don’t want to pay for them: TransLink to pay independent expert $1,200 a day to review SkyTrain outages. Apparently $1,200 gets you such Orwellian tidbits as: “We’re going to start to communicate out as you would in any travel what plans you need to make”. What?

Imagine being “put out on the street”? Oppenheimer park protest puts Powell Street Festival out on the street. Actually, if you bothered to ask the festival organizers, they voluntarily pulled out of the park in solidarity with the protesters. Gee, way to be bad at being a newspaper.

“We should get first dibs” – actual quote from an actual adult. Vancouver House tower makes enemies before it’s built by targeting Asian buyers. Wow, people hate when they’re not marketed to? “Vancouver House’s star architect, Bjarke Ingels, suggests the building is symbolic of ‘a giant curtain, at the moment of being pulled back to reveal the world to Vancouver and Vancouver to the world”. And behind that curtain? A xenophobic wizard named Oz who artificially inflates home-prices at will, forcing our little Dorothy of a fishing village to grow up beyond recognition. Click your heels Vancouver, because there’s no place like home.

But we will take your workers: BC and China sign MOU to allow foreign workers to expand LNG industry. Best comment: “What the hell did our grandparents and great grandparents fight WW2 for? I thought it was a war against communism?” Fascism, buddy. You mean fascism.

I hate it when they do that: Someone at the Fraser Institute accidentally blurted out a good idea. “Environmental and social benefits? Looking beyond narrow financial perspectives? Perish the thought!”

NHL: Climate change is going to cause serious problems for hockey. You know we’re in trouble when our sports leagues care more about the environment than our governments.

Taking sides: B.C. can be counted as a friend of Israel, says Premier Christy Clark. I’d say this was shocking but, you know, white settler colonialism and whatnot. I mean, it’s not like she cares what British Columbians think. To heck with us, right?

Nanny State alert: Call for physical barriers on the sea wall.

How does B.C.’s newly updated draft beer price minimum stack up against the rest of Canada? Spoiler alert: not so good.

Honour Bound: Survivors Totem Pole.

SCOUT LIST | Ten Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

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by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. You can also check it out in the Globe & Mail, from our calendar to theirs…and yours!

BEACH | We’re half way through summer already, so it’s time to get serious about checking things off the season’s ‘To Do’ list. If you haven’t packed up and spent a full day at the beach yet, now is the time. Try English Bay, Kits, Wreck or Whytecliff. Pull together a picnic lunch or dinner and dig in for the long haul. Second or Third Beach on a Tuesday can keep you entertained well into the evening with its drum circle beach party and fresh air cinema (Mean Girls plays tonight– Tuesday, July 29), so get out there and build some memories to cling to this winter.

PRIDE |
Pride hits Vancouver this weekend, and you’ll be able to feel the positive energy spreading beyond the West End. As always, the big ticket event is the parade, which starts at noon this Sunday and travels along Robson street to Denman, down Denman to Beach Ave., ending at Sunset Beach, where a proper pride party takes place. For all the juicy bits (dance parties, beer gardens, outdoor markets and live entrainment) leading up to the main event and the full scoop on parade details – skip over to the Pride site here. This deal attracts an easy 650,000 people, so keep that in mind. Leave the car at home and take lots of good, respectful energy with you.
Sun, Aug. 3 | noon to 6pm | The West End | Free | DETAILS

EAT | Summertime is so great for easy and ample access to local produce, so hit a farmers market this week and support the people who grow good food. It’s a good move in every direction. For a mid-week market, head over to the corner of 8th and Vine on Thursday. Expect fresh local fruits and veggies as well as baked goods, vegan treats, preserves and more.
Thursdays until September 25 | 3-7pm | Corner of West 8th @ Vine 

POP UP | A collection of cool Vancouver-based businesses are bringing their products together in a West End pop-up that marries hip tea house with surf shack. Oollo Tea, Lemonni (simple, modern textiles), and Forest & Waves (textiles and prints) are using the space at Production Road (990 Nicola, right next door to Greenhorn Cafe) to showcase some of their collective brilliance. You’ll find fancy fanny packs (really, Forest & Waves managed to make a good version), tea and tea-infused chocolates and candies, fresh and happy tea towels and textiles, pillows, and cards. The opening night party goes down the evening of Saturday, August 2nd.
Aug 1 – Sept 14 | Fri-Sun 11am-10pm, Mon-Thurs 11am-9pm | 990 Nicola | DETAILS

FORAGE | Local blackberries are moving into the good-for-picking zone right now. Find yourself a thicket and get picking. Try the borders of a quiet strip of defunct Canadian Pacific Railway tracks (always a good source). UBC Farm is also a solid place to fill your bucket. Sure, these berries will cost you (a nominal recommended donation of $2 per bucket), but they’re also free of car exhaust and other pollutants. Vancouver blackberries are the best; perfect for smoothies, crumbles, jams, or syrups for summer cocktails.

SHOW BOAT | And now for something completely different: the Kits Show Boat. Take a seat on the bleachers and enjoy the view as you listen to a variety of musical acts. This Friday (August 1st) Vancouver Dorfmusik plays, because when was the last time you sat down to enjoy some live Swiss “village” band tunes? They’re followed by Hawaiian Wailele Wai Wai, so it’s a double win! And then on Saturday, the ‘atmospheric indie funk rock’ band Pentons Alley get busy. Expect a crowd, however, as the Celebration of Light takes place on the same night.
Now until Aug 16 | 7 pm | 2300 Cornwall at Kitsilano Beach | DETAILS

FESTIVAL | The Powell Street Festival goes down this weekend. This annual celebration of Japanese Canadian arts, culture and heritage that usually takes place in and around Oppenheimer Park is relocating due to protests against homelessness in the park. You’ll find the main stage on Alexander St. between Princess and Dunlevy, with festivities taking place in the surrounding four blocks of Japantown. The fantastic community festival features dance, music, martial arts demos, craft vendors, traditional Japanese food and a freakin’ sumo tournament. This is 38th year that the Festival has been going on. In that time, it has grown from a small community event to a full-blown arts and culture festival attracting thousands of visitors. Our photos from last year are here.
Fri, Aug 1 – Sun, Aug 3 | 11:30am – 7pm | Japantown | Free | DETAILS

FIREWORKS | Keep in mind that the Celebration of Light fireworks takes place on Saturday. Japan will light up the skies in the last of the series of pyrotechnic displays for the 2014 event. Plan accordingly, which is to say don’t try to drive through the West End while this is going down!
Sat, August 2 | 10pm | English Bay | Free | DETAILS

HARMONY ARTS | The quaint seaside village of West Vancouver launches its annual 10 day arts and culture festival this weekend. Scoot over the bridge for a cold lemonade and a wander through the craft market showcasing loads of one-of-a-kind pottery, jewellery, textiles, woodwork and glass designs all made by locals. Hang around after the sun goes down for outdoor movies and concerts. The Harmony Arts Festival starts on Thursday and runs until August 10th.
August 1-10 | Ambleside, West Van | Free | DETAILS

LUMBERJACK LOVE | Squamish Days and the awesome Loggers Sports Festival kicks off with the 1st Annual Loggers Sports Beard Pageant on Thursday followed by the Campfire Showdown (teams of two race to build a fire that can successfully boil a can of water). Friday sees bed racing, chair carving and the Cleveland Avenue Street Party. On Saturday there will be axe throwing, tree topping and something called the Loggers Stomp Dance, because hell yeah! On Sunday there will be pancakes and a parade. And on Monday there will be a community picnic. Man, Lumberjacks know how to throw a party! Stoked.
July 31 – August 4| All over Squamish | DETAILS

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late-may-2009-169Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy (but faithful) camera.

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FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE BRIEF #433 | Rush Hour In Taipei Is NOT Like It Is In Vancouver

In Taiwan’s Taipei City, the morning rush hour across Taipei Bridge appears to be as smoothly mesmerizing as it is unfathomably insane. If the calm is typical, it really puts the peak-time chaos of entering/exiting Vancouver into embarrassing perspective. It would be a fascinating thing to watch our many road/roid raging morning commuters try to merge with such a calm, purposeful throng. There would likely be casualties, so it’s for the best that our respective road systems don’t connect.

MORE FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE

SCOUT LIST | Ten Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

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by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. You can also check it out in the Globe & Mail, from our calendar to theirs…and yours!

GIN + JUICE | Get yourself to Gastown’s Nouvelle Nouvelle this Thursday night for an evening inspired by Snoop Dog’s classic jam “Gin+Juice”. The shop isn’t just having a sale (20-40% off) of their very beautiful men’s and women’s clothing lines. They’ve also asked Odd Society bartender Matt Cooke to bring some gin over to their shop to make some drinks with fresh, cold-pressed juices from The Juice Truck. The whole shopping / cocktail experience will go down with an old school hip hop soundtrack and a room full of solid people. Plus, it could be an interesting experiment in whether or not the nutritional value of the cold pressed juice can cancel out the naughty gin. Because science is good, right?
Thu, July 24 | 6-10pm | Nouvelle Nouvelle (209 Abbott St.) | DETAILS

PRECISION | Chef and “knife-nerd” Kevin Kent is in town to entice you with fine quality Japanese knives. Knifewear opens at The Chinatown Experiment this week. Head down to 434 Columbia St. to handle, hear about and drool over a line-up of hundreds of knives from more than 40 of the best Japanese knife brands. Also on hand: a selection of supporting artifacts like chef-curated cookbooks, cutting boards, and kitchen gadgets. “Cooking is the new rock and roll,” Kent says. “And the new black leather pants are Japanese knives.” Heck yeah they are.
Now through July 27 | 11am – 7pm | 434 Columbia St. | DETAILS

RESTAURANT RUMBLE | The event of the month goes down this Wednesday. The charity boxing showdown organized by the Aprons for Gloves Boxing Association is pitting Vancouver’s bussers against its barbers and its cooks against its bartenders. It happens in two parts: “Undercard Fights” go down in the afternoon (3:30-6:30pm) followed by the Title Fights in the evening (7-10pm). At three 3-minute rounds per, Title Fights go down fast. Boxers go glove to glove without headgear or shirts and title belts are on the line. This event is sold out, but the resourceful enthusiast will be able to get hands on tickets through darker channels. Also, this event will also be live streamed at The Bottleneck on Granville Street.
Wed, July 23 | 3:30 & 7pm | SFU Woodward | 149 W. Hastings | Various $ | DETAILS

AFTER HOURS | How cool would it be to hang out at the Vancouver Aquarium after hours? No view-hogging children or toe-crunching strollers, just gentle darkness with the soothing sounds of water and jellyfish. This Wednesday night brings just such an opportunity: After Hours is an evening of engaging awesomeness set inside the Aquarium. Guests can enjoy wine, beer and a little scientific talk, a show about caring for Dolphins, a film, and a spin in the wet lab where they can touch invertebrates like sea stars and urchins. So civilized. Tickets are selling fast; try Craigslist or FB if you can’t score directly from the Aquarium.
Wed, July 23 | 6:30-10pm | Vancouver Aquarium | Stanley Park | $25 | DETAILS

GO GREEN | Earthsave Canada offers a free talk on the benefits of plant-based diets at Robson Square on Thursday night. If you’re interested in shifting your diet to include more plants think about attending to hear what physician, author, and speaker Michael Greger can tell you about the latest in plant-based nutrition and health research. This event is open to the public on a first come first serve basis.
Fri, July 25 | 7pm | UBC Robson Square (800 Robson St) | Free | DETAILS

MORBID CURIOUSITY | Stanley Park might be a serene aggregate of quiet forest paths with a inviting coastline, but like many beautiful things, it has a dark side. This weekend is your chance to get the scoop on some of the park’s shady past including murders, suicides, park cemeteries and burial places, treasure, shipwrecks, drownings, and what can only be described as mysterious incidences – if you’re in to that sort of thing.
Sat, July 26 | 1-3pm | Lost Lagoon Nature House | $10 | DETAILS

PICK-YOUR-OWN | It’s blueberry season! Farmers markets and local grocery stores are loaded with them, but picking your own is a fun summer activity. Head toward Ladner/Delta and out to Westham Island (directions). Once you cross the wooden planked bridge to the soft roads lined by long grass and foxgloves, you’ll find fantastic u-pick berry farms and roadside egg and vegetable stands. Take your own buckets for easy post-picking transportation.
Emma Lea Farms | Daily 10am – 6pm | 2727 Westham Island Rd. (Ladner) | DETAILS

PRIDE | Vancouver Pride is gearing up. This weekend watch out for the Pride Walk & Run (starting AND finishing at Brockton Oval in Stanley Park with disco water stations in between) as well as Pride picnic (a family friendly event that will involve all manner of games like volleyball, tug-of-war, watermelon eating and a high-heel shoe toss). The main event – Pride Parade – goes down next Sunday, but between now and then there are numerous events to take in.
Now through Sun, August 3 | Various times and locations | DETAILS

FIREWORKS | Keep in mind that Celebration of Light fireworks (aka Stab Night) start this week (Saturday). First to represent their country with pyrotechnic expression is the United Sates (July 26), followed by France (July 30), and finally, Japan (August 2nd). Plan accordingly, and for crying out loud, don’t try to drive through the West End while the festivities are going down. Also, no knives, please. For serious.
Sat, July 26, 30, August 2 | 10am | English Bay | Free | DETAILS

ROAD TRIP | Wine Country is something pretty right now. If you can slip away for a weekend, consider heading to the stunning Similkameen Valley for an al fresco dinner in a vineyard that will capture everything that’s magical about summer. Think warm air, beautiful light, amazing food, fine conversation, and phenomenal wine. The Orofino 1.6 Mile Dinner offers a five course meal utilizing ingredients gathered from farmers and artisan producers from within a 1.6 mile radius of the Similkameen’s charming Orofino Winery. Preparing the meal will be Cameron Smith and Dana Ewart from Joy Road Catering and Gold Medal Plate-winning Chef Mark Filatow  of Waterfront Wines. Dinner starts with bubbly and canapés at 5:30pm. Contact 250-499-0068 or admin [at] orofinovineyards.com to make your reservations.
Sat, July. 26 | 5:30 | Orofino Strawbale Winery | Cawston, BC | $150 pp | DETAILS 
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late-may-2009-169Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy (but faithful) camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES | On Big Fat Payouts And “Trendy” $800 Bachelor Suites On Main St.

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by Sean Orr | This is not an AC/DC reference: By the numbers: B.C. budget back in black. More money for welfare and teachers right? Wrong. More money for payouts. Smyth: B.C. finance minister should be more than just ‘disappointed’ about payments to public execs. The article doesn’t even mention Michael Graydon: B.C. Lottery Corp. wants $55,000 back from ex-CEO.

Debt Free BC. “The real policy problem in this province is not that we are failing to move to a debt free B.C. The policy problem is that we are incurring debt for things we don’t need”.

Related tweet of the day:

 

Why can’t EI be U and I? EI is not actually helping low-income Canadians. “The lowest-income group only receives around 16 per cent of the benefits depending on the year. The poor pay into EI while working, but they are less likely to collect benefits if they’re laid off.”

The 10 most endangered jobs of 2014: Mail carrier, newspaper reporter, lumberjack. Yeah? You forget cross border pot smuggler…

You too could live in an office lunch room of a call centre in Mumbai: $800 Trendy Main St. Furnished Bachelor. Remember, the street is trendy, not the apartment. Or you could live at 955 East Hastings, now rebranded as The Ballantyne, ironically evoking one of the most important labour battles in Vancouver’s history.

Are conservative think tanks aiming their big guns at Vancouver City Hall? Wait, they haven’t already?

Why settle for Vision Vancouver or the NPA?. You’re talking about TEAM right?

Chinese Advertisements creating controversy in West Vancouver. What do you expect from West Van, home of the British Properties, where it is still technically illegal to sell your home to a Chinese person?

Save Black Dog Video. Sorry, I gave all my money to the potato salad guy.

(Top image: coyote seen off the Olympic Village seawall last night)

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