TEA & TWO SLICES | On Voyeuristic Punk Adventurism And Temporary Devil Genitals

September 11, 2014 

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by Sean Orr | More voyeuristic, romantic, hagiography regarding the DTES. I expected better from Vice: A look at the punk scene coming out of one of Canada’s Poorest Postal Code. “The scene is, I think it’s getting a bit more real, which sounds kind of lame”. It sure does. No mention of any actual punk bands, and no mention of The Astoria, Emergency Room, Alf House, Red Gate, The Cobalt, Secret Location/Nite Prison, or Chi Pig. You know that I’m wary of the G-word, but the piece just reeks of middle-class, neo-colonial adventurism.

Related: East Vancouver studio owner plans fundraiser after thieves steal at least $6,000 worth of music gear.

Devil Chilling Park? New guerrilla art lasts less than a day.

Cue the inevitable petition to bring it back. “Just as some were offended by the price tag and substance of the porcelain dog, others may have been offended at the sight of Lucifer’s Plastic Love Pump, but none would be offended at its price tag”. You leave the poor Main Street Poodle out of this. It’s suffered enough!

Oh noes! Jamie Lee Hamilton leaves COPE, alleges Left Front blocking her nomination. Best reader comment: “I hope I don’t confuse online voter registry with a Buzzfeed ‘Which Ninja Turtle Are You?’ quiz.”

Gregor Robertson can’t stop tanker traffic or build a subway, so why leave that impression? ”The National Energy Board will make a decision on Kinder Morgan’s application”. Shh, don’t tell Burnaby! Burnaby asks court to block Kinder Morgan B.C. pipeline.

Meanwhile, Gregor can’t stop the teacher’s strike either, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t comment on it. Why has Vancouver’s ‘progressive’ Mayor been so quiet about the BC teachers’ strike? Update: Vancouver mayor adds support for binding arbitration in B.C. teachers’ strike.

Now if we can only get him to do something about his transparency problem…

But if that bit of journalism isn’t sexy enough for you: Vancouver mayoral race now a three-way. “The 53-year-old mental health worker and longtime community organizer will battle Mayor Gregor Robertson and NPA challenger Kirk LaPointe for votes in a multicultural city that has never had a female mayor or one of Chinese descent”.

Unrelated: Naked Sushi celebrates the tradition of sexism, not Japanese culinary culture.

You-probably-haven’t-heard-of of the day: Palestine Awareness Coalition protests at Deltaport.

A Hitchcockian urban nightmare! City life’s a rat race in Vancouver — and the rats may be winning. With raw video of…you guessed it, rats! Who is this mysterious Johnny Appleseed of East Van? Can he be stopped?

Bonus: Mark’s Work Wearhouse Announces Rules for Who Gets to Wear Plaid. Beware, it’s a joke. A lumberjoke!

VICTORY GARDENS | 3 Good Things Every Local Green Thumb Should Plant This Week

September 10, 2014 

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by Lisa Giroday, Sandra Lopuch and Sam Philips | We hate to be alarmist or the bearers of bad news, but the time has come to squeak in one of the last veggie seedings into your garden. You can always employ the warmth of hoop houses, cloches, and cold frames once the cold hits, but you need to get some seeds in the ground before it’s too late! Here’s a list of our top 3 seed varieties you should get in the ground now if you know what’s good for you…

1. Spinach | Remember when you tried to seed spinach in the summer and it “bolted” right away? It produced a flower stalk and it was all over? Well, now is the chance to rectify the situation and have success with seeding spinach. Spinach prefers cooler weather, which is why it’s best to seed in spring or late summer. Spinach will overwinter (and you can harvest all winter into spring) if we have a mild one upon us. If it gets chilly, throw up a protective cloche over it to keep it warm. Choose a cold hardy variety to further ensure success. We love the semi-savoyed leaved “Bloomsdale Savoy”. Remember to make sure the soil has adequate drainage. Bonus: you can pick individual leaves throughout winter into spring for your health blast of vitamin C, vitamin E, beta-carotene, manganese, zinc and selenium, all of which serve as powerful antioxidants.

2. Radishes | These mature very quickly. As with spinach, radishes prefer cooler weather, so they’re an ideal veggie to seed right now. You might want to choose a variety that matures quickly, like Easter Egg or French Breakfast. If you missed your window on getting carrots or beets in the ground, you can still enjoy the goodness of roots. Remember to thin your radish patch or row, as they need space to grow. Any seedlings that are crowded need to be properly spaced for maximum growth.

3. Pac Choi | Another veggie that tends to bolt, or go to seed quickly in the heat. The plant freaks out, finishes its life cycle, and there you have it. Remember that veggies that are best planted in the early spring are usually good bets for planting now, too. Think of it as “mirroring the weather”. Pac Choi grows very quickly, and you can harvest individual stems, harvest the whole plant, or treat as a “cut-and-come-again” crop. Snip, and watch it re-grow. We recommend seeding this crop by the weekend!

A few other seed varieties you can get in the ground right now are: arugula, corn salad, mustards, mizuna, and gai lan. And don’t fret – the time has not yet come to plant garlic, and you can still seed your broad beans or fava beans either now or by the end of the month. Happy growing!

THE VICTORY GARDENS ARCHIVE

TEA & TWO SLICES | On Terrorist Sex Shops & Teachers Enduring A Twittering Shithead

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by Sean Orr | Ha ha, Brazil! First you blew the World Cup, now this: Canada’s degradation of pristine, intact forests leads world. “Researchers suggest oil and gas industry plays a big role”. Thanks researchers, or as I like to call them, “the enemy”.

Why are they trying to stand in the way of our robust oil economy? Soaring Oil Debt: Returns diminish as energy companies resort to higher-cost, higher-risk hydrocarbons.

“In addition to seeing fewer vehicles on the road (a startling U.S. reality already), we shall also see lower wages (except in the hydrocarbon industry), rising food prices, rising personal debt loads, increased demands on governments increasingly short of revenue, explosive inequalities in wealth and rising political conflict”.

B.C. premier’s office says Christy Clark ‘lunch’ tweet is fake. The tweet may be fake, but the sentiment isn’t.

Not a fake tweet from Joey “Shithead” Keithley of legendary punk band DOA:

Which is to say that punk’s not dead. It just goes to bed earlier.

And you know you’re in trouble when Nickelback is more left-wing than you: Nickelback Creates a ‘Revolution’ With Brand-New Video. Hmm, millionaires co-opting the protest movement to sell stuff? Unheard of!

Related: The Total Annihilation of Life as We Know It.

War on error: Nelson sex shop makes love, not war as it deals with backlash of sharing name with Islamic extremism

Little did Fierro she know when she picked the Egyptian goddess named ISIS for her business, that one day it would be a name made infamous by beheadings and radical Islamic preaching and brutal violence that has been condemned around the world.

“We’ve had our fingers crossed that this will go away,” the store owner has reportedly said, coincidentally mimicking the same strategy employed by the United Nations.

Driving a wedge: Cyclists and pedestrians sometimes don’t mix on the mean streets of Vancouver. If only we could do something like – oh, I don’t know – make separated bike lanes?

Related: 20 people died last week because of…cars.

Tonight, there’s gonna be a jail break: TransLink blames latest system shutdown on passengers who broke out of train. Weird. I wonder where they got the idea that they’d be stranded for hours and not minutes?

Addressing both high housing costs and transit funding with one tax. Hey, maybe Gregor can talk about this idea during his campaign and then never implement it.

Meanwhile, calling all bankers, mining execs, and CEOs: Vancouver Affordable Housing Agency: Call for board directors.

Another day, another terrible “Gastown is hip” article: Gastown’s ‘fiercely local vibe’ makes it among the most stylish neighbourhoods in the world. New drinking game: take a sip every time someone calls Gastown “gritty”.

Bonus: Looking at the history of Vancouver’s alcohol-fueled underbelly.

FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE BRIEF #434 | Cool Time Lapse Shows Ohio Amish Barn Raising

September 4, 2014 

This recent Ohio Amish barn-raising took a little over 10 hours to complete. The whole operation is condensed down to three and a half minutes in this time-lapse video. It’s a pretty astounding thing to watch, especially at the 2 minute mark, when all the hammers drop and the small army of hatted workmen disappear off-screen, presumably for lunch, only to reappear to finish the job.

MORE FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE

TEA & TWO SLICES | On The First Day Of School And Blaming Trees For A Forest Fire

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by Sean Orr | So, how was everyone’s Working Multiple Temporary Part-Time Minimum Wage Jobs With No Benefits Day?

In case you missed it, our Premier celebrated the day by trolling teachers on Twitter and Facebook with hilarious results. If her term in office could be shortened by the acidity of Facebook comments alone, her quick removal would be assured. Here are just a few of my faves…

“Convenient that the BC Supreme Court’s decisions don’t influence the private schools your children will be attending tomorrow…”

“Blaming the teachers for this strike is like blaming the trees for a forest fire…”

“Why you so stupid Christy?”

“A contract that has a self-destruct clause is not a contract…”

“im in a private school and there handicaps…” [sic]

I could be wrong, but I’m thinking that last one was actually arguing in support of the government.

BC is not alone: Hey, premiers, leave them teachers alone!

Muckraker of the day: Peter Fassbender and the back-to-basics education movement in the ’70s. “Amid the turmoil, Fassbender introduced a motion asking the Education Ministry to restore corporal punishment (and) there was also a tiff over the way teachers were dressing”. Wow, talk about basic!

But by far the most enjoyable headline of the weekend was this amazing piece of satire journalism from the Globe and Mail: B’nai Brith CEO to nominate Harper for Nobel Peace Prize. “The Conservative government has said that its outspoken approach is part of a ‘principled’ foreign policy that means it is unafraid to choose sides in conflicts”. Because I thought it was satirical at first, I’m going to quote Alan Ranta: “Everyone knows the first step to peace is choosing one side in a conflict and condemning the other as evil”.

The requisite petition: Deny the Nomination of PM Stephen Harper for 2014 Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least nominate Putin to make it even.

SPIKED: Harper visits, ignores North. To be sure, if I was PM, the 100-day dump fire would be the first place I’d go.

It’s not leaking, it’s crying: Is B.C. Place’s multi-million dollar new roof leaking again? If we can’t even make condos without leaks, we shouldn’t expect our stadiums to be dry.

ComicCon: Vancouver Convention Centre use falls short of projections, just like other centres across North America. Nobody could have foreseen this, except for all the people who totally foresaw this.

‘Bias’ concerns led tax agency to target left-leaning think-tank. Look out Fraser Institute, you’re (totally not) next!

Impending doom of the day: Female lobster stuffed with eggs found near Bowen Island. I, for one, look forward to our new lobster overlords.

Bonus: Colourized Vancouver.

SCOUT LIST | Ten Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

September 2, 2014 

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by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. You can also check it out in the Globe & Mail, from our calendar to theirs…and yours! 

CULTURE | The Vancouver Fringe Festival is on, bringing hundreds of ‘alternative theatre’ performances to stages across the city. We’re particularly looking forward to Lord of the Flies. From Fringe Fest: “Comedian Lesley Tsina (Community, Funny or Die) worked for a company that made cell phone ringtones. That is, until they announced nine months of layoffs and the entire office descended into savagery. Lord of the Files is a darkly hilarious story about losing your job, losing your mind, and still having to attend an all-company pancake breakfast.” With so much going on, we recommend a visit to the Fringe Fest website to develop a custom game plan.
Now through Sept. 14 | Various times and locations | DETAILS

BRAIN JUICE | September’s start marks a time to regroup, return to school (strike aside), and snap our brains out of their summertime states. If you’re looking for some help on how to best approach the transition, consider hitting the Summer End party at The Juice Truck on Thursday night. In addition to brain games, medicinal cocktails containing mind-sharpening ingredients, a DJ ‘name that tune’ challenge, and inspiring conversation with a solid gathering of people, you can also be among the first to sample “Brain On” – a new juice (full of good things like blueberry, spinach, cucumber, beet, turmeric and more) that has come out of a collaboration between The Juice Truck and Jeff Hamada (of Booooooom fame). Kick start your brain, be entertained and get social all at once. Everyone is welcome.
Thu, Sept 4 | 7pm – late | The Juice Truck Cafe (28 W 5th Ave) | DETAILS

STREET ART | If you’ve ever turned into an alley to find a mural, encountered a collage on the wall of a vacant building or spotted a small, thoughtfully placed bit of poster art hiding in a stairwell – you’ll appreciate that street art brings temporary beauty and pause for thought to some of the darkest corners of the city. Hot Art Wet City thinks so, too. This month, the small Main Street gallery is having a show of works of local wheatepaste and stencil artists iHeart, Joy, Slingshot, Wrk(less), and MW Bowen. Opening night with reception, booze and artists in attendance goes down on Friday, with the exhibition itself continuing until September 26.
Opening: Fri, Sept 5 | 7-11 pm | Hot Art Wet City Gallery (2206 Main) | DETAILS

GET UP | Hit the Goldcorp Centre for the Arts (SFU Woodwards) to join in on the monthly morning gathering for creative types and leave inspired. Each event includes a 20 minute lecture followed by a 20 minute group discussion. It begins at 8:30am and ends with everyone splitting for their respective offices at 10am. This month, CM has invited Andrea Chlebak to speak. Andrea is the Senior Digital Intermediate Colorist and Director of Creative Services at Central (a boutique post-production facility in Vancouver) and she’ll be taking the stage to about what she does and where she draws creative inspiration from. Tickets are free but they go fast in a lottery, so don’t dilly-dally.
Fri, Sept. 5 | 8:30-10am | Goldcorp Centre for the Arts (149 W Hastings) | DETAILS

UNLIMITED EDITION III | Design firm Knauf & Brown are hosting one of their ‘poster parties’ this weekend. Make your way to The Something Club on Powell Street where there will be a fancy printer pumping out 2 foot by 3 foot, black and white artist’s posters for only $15. Score yourself a cool poster-sized image of a work by participating artists like Jennilee Marigomen, Alana Paterson, Lukas Peet, Tom Chung, Dan Climan and many more (for a full list of artists visit The Something Club website). Check it out!
Fri, Sept. 5 | 8pm | The Something Club (1505 Powell St) | DETAILS

LANTERNS | Celebrate the mid-autumn moon at Dr. Sun Yat Sen Gardens on Sunday. “The Festival honours the full harvest moon symbolizing peace, prosperity and family reunion.” All good things to celebrate! Between 5 and 7pm, activities will be family focused (expect traditional Chinese music performances, storytelling, Chinese games and mooncakes and tea), while after 7pm (continuing until 10pm) the evening becomes more introspective and grown-uppish. Take some time to wander the soft dark pathways of the garden, light and release a lotus lantern and enjoy a glass of wine. Tickets: $5/person or $10/family. Heed the Gardens’ advice: “Bring cash to get in fast.”
Sun, Sept. 7 | 5-10pm | Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Chinese Gardens (578 Carrall) | $5/10 | DETAILS

FEAST | This Sunday is the 20th annual Feast of Fields. This year, Farm Folk City Folk present their super delicious annual fundraising event out at Bremner’s Farm in Delta. Feast organizers work hard to bring fresh local ingredients produced, grown, caught and harvested by the regions best farmers and fishers together with talented chefs from some of the most amazing restaurants in the city in order to showcase why we are so lucky to live (and, very specifically, eat) in the Lower Mainland. It’s always seriously good times, plus the money raised goes toFarm Folk City Folk. Added bonus: there will be a shuttle bus available from Vancouver ($15) so you don’t have to drive or think, just eat and drink. This event always sells out, so don’t get stuck without tickets.
Sun, Sept 7 | 1-5pm | Bremner’s Farm (4626 88 St, Delta) | $95 | DETAILS

LEARN | Pick up a bit of useful foraging information in Stanley Park this Sunday. Rainforest Cafe is an expert-led tour through the pathways and forests of the park designed to educate participants on the edible (and inedible) plants and berries that they will find growing within the boundaries. It’s always smart to have a back up source of sustenance should the concession stand lines become too long to endure…
Sun, Sept 7 | 1:30pm – 3:30pm | Stanley Park Nature House | $10 | DETAILS

MOONSHINE | The 2014 autumnal equinox falls on September 23rd and the full moon closest to the equinox (known as the Harvest Moon) appears in the sky this coming Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday (mostly Monday and Tuesday, but let’s throw Sunday in there because it’s an almost full moon on a slower day that may hold more opportunities for admiring the night sky). So put on a bit of Neil Young, take your shoes off and go barefoot in the grass with a cold beer in hand one last time this summer.
September 7, 8, 9 | In the sky (Look Up) | Free 

EAT LOCAL | It’s harvest time. Grab locally grown produce from good people at your neighbourhood farmer’s market while we’re in peak season for so many awesome fruits and veggies. Pick up tomatoes to can, veggies for pickling, peaches for preserving. Take full advantage of the bounty at market stalls right now, winter will come and you’ll be happy remembering these late summer treats. Also: good bread, jams to spread on the bread, great cheese and beautiful fall flowers.
Thornton Park | Wednesday | 3pm–7pm | Main Street Station at Terminal | DETAILS
Yaletown | Thursdays | 2-6pm | Mainland between Davie & Helmcken | DETAILS
Trout Lake | Saturdays | 9am-2pm | North Parking Lot, John Hendry Park | DETAILS
Mount Pleasant | Sundays | 10-2pm | 2300 Guelph St | DETAILS
West End | Saturdays | 9am-2pm | 1100 Block of Comox (across from Nelson Park) | DETAILS
Kits | Sundays | 10am-2pm | 2690 Larch @ 10th | DETAILS
UBC Farm Market | Saturday | 9-1 | UBC Farm | DETAILS

late-may-2009-169Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy (but faithful) camera.

LEXICON | Defining Lifer, Chinatown Gutter Puddle, No Fun Piano, Shit Turkey, & More

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The Vancouver Lexicon – our A-Z dictionary of local slang, myths, legends, and such – might appear to be complete, but we mean to keep adding to it every week. Today we aim to highlight five more localisms that everyone in British Columbia should know about. They are Shit Turkey, Wick, Lifer, No Fun Piano, Chinatown Gutter Puddle, and Chimo.

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TEA & TWO SLICES | On Barfing Into Fendi Bags & Affluent Kids Moving Into The DTES

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by Sean Orr | We are Tennyson’s mariners, and we’ve eaten the lotus: Vancouver is fast becoming Fat Cat City as luxury purchase opportunities pile up. If you we don’t violently vomit blood-specked rage while you read this then there is something drastically wrong with you us. “It’s kind of a high-powered game of keeping up with the Joneses — except in this case it’s keeping up with the Fendis and the Armanis”. Barf! Real, actual wealth has never needed to prostitute itself so vulgarly. What we’re seeing here instead are expensive expressions of personal insecurity…

“The edgy neighbourhood [Gastown] may once have been Vancouver’s skid row…”, the masturbatory article continues. Wrong. Skid Row is skid row. Gastown has always been Gastown. It was gentrified in the 70s, not the 2010s. ”Stylish, well-heeled Asians make up the majority of her business…” Oh, just stop it already.

Meanwhile, to our south, no one will heed this warning:

The divide between the haves and have-nots is getting worse really, really fast. In 1980, the top 1 percent controlled about 8 percent of U.S. national income. The bottom 50 percent shared about 18 percent. Today the top 1 percent share about 20 percent; the bottom 50 percent, just 12 percent.

Related: One Incredible Entrepreneur Saved This Struggling Neighborhood By Replacing Everyone In It With Affluent Twentysomethings

Just one year ago, East Shellwood was one of the poorest neighborhoods in America. Its public schools were buckling under budget cuts and the crime rate was steadily increasing, while property values had hit an all-time low.

Today, all of that has changed. East Shellwood is thriving, and shows no signs of slowing down. So what happened?

It all started when a community-minded entrepreneur by the name of Jackson Klemmer had the innovative idea to replace every single one of the area’s longtime residents with affluent twentysomethings. The rest, as they say, is history.

“I knew if we could just find some way to increase the cost of living so that poorer residents had no choice but to move out, we could completely revitalize the neighborhood by filling it with predominantly white twentysomethings,” said Klemmer, a real estate investor and community activist. “People said East Shellwood was a lost cause. But I never stopped believing in this place and the people who could potentially live here once we got rid of all the poor people.”

Related: Ayn Rand’s Capitalist Paradise Is Now a Greedy Land-Grabbing Shitstorm.

Meanwhile the Conservatives keep getting more….conservative-y: Peter MacKay Wears Gun Shirt From Group That Wants To Repeal Canada’s Firearms Laws. But…but…Justin wants to give your kids weed! Or, I see your true colours. Oh, and this is the responsible gun-owning veteran who uses his disability to sneak vodka into football games.

Meanwhile environmentalists are zealots who want to shoot people on Skytrains: The Paver, the Optimist, the Suspicious, the Skeptic and the Back-to-the-Lander. “We don’t need to tell you the resource debate can be loud and antagonistic”, so we need to be louder and more antagonistic.

Don’t look at it like you’re losing a glacier, but rather that you’re gaining a cool new lake! Decker Glacier lake at Whistler a sign of melt to come. Not sure if it’s on purpose, but that headline reminds me of Refused.

Bandwagon alert: Gregor does ice bucket challenge. Not to criticize the challenge, but I’d rather see him do the Rubble bucket challenge. Or the clean drinking water challenge. Or the Grimes challenge.

Vision Vancouver, NPA, Greens are neck and neck in council race, poll shows. “But city hall got low marks for transparency, homelessness and poverty, and “engaging with regular people”. Who paid for this poll? Who are regular people?

The NPA’s wedge issue? They are against bike counters: Vancouver bike lanes boast record summer cycling traffic. Talk about missing LaPointe.

Regarding the Arbutus Corridor, Bangkok proves that railways and community gardens can coexist.

Craigslist of the day: Cozy, spacious three-bedroom suite near UBC, SFU, Trinity Western, U of A, Berkely, and McGill for rent.

SCOUT LIST | Ten Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

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by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. You can also check it out in the Globe & Mail, from our calendar to theirs…and yours! 

FRESH AIR FILM | Watching a movie in a field with stars above you is an a summer experience worth making time for.  This Tuesday night catch a fresh air screening of Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom in Stanley Park (next week: The Princess Bride). Take along some picnic food and stake-out a spot on the grass with your best blanket because these warm summer nights are starting to slip away and you don’t want to be sitting in a puddle of tears in November wishing you’d taken the effort to cram in as much summer as was possible.
Tues, Aug 26 | Dusk (about 8:30pm) | Stanley Park at Ceperley Meadow / 2nd Beach | DETAILS

CHILL | Tonight is your last chance to get in on outdoor yoga at Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Gardens. Relax to the tranquil sounds of koi surfacing in lilypad-strewn ponds and the gentle rustling of bamboo, do a little yoga, and clear your head. These are all good things, plus you are only a block away from feasting on post-yoga Currywurst at Bestie.
Tues, Aug 26 | 6:15pm | Dr Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden (578 Carrall St) | DETAILS

WATCH | The Latin Film Fest kicks off on Thursday night. Over 70 films (36 of which are features) will be screened at three venues over ten days, so this is a festival that you won’t want to miss.  From a documentary about a small community of albinos in the Dominican Republic to the story of a little boy obsessed with straightening his curly hair – the overarching aim of this fest is to bring Vancouver a cross-section of film reflecting the societies and people of Latin American countries in a real way. For a full line-up of screenings, visit the VLAFF website here.
Aug. 28 – Sept. 7 | Various times & venues | $8-$125 | DETAILS

ART | Grunt Gallery is an artist-run centre working to bring contemporary art programming to the public. They’ve spent the last three decades mounting exhibitions, scheduling performances, and presenting artist talks in order to inspire public dialogue about art. That’s a pretty great community service and one worth celebrating. This Thursday night, the gallery begins it’s 30th year with a party. Hang out with artists, Grunt board members, and community members while drinking up, eating cake, and watching a slideshow of past and present art exhibitions. Important things to know: attendees are encouraged to bring kids, the cake will be cut at 7:15pm, and this party is dog-friendly – which is awesome. No need to RSVP, just show up and bring friends.
Thurs, Aug 28 | 6:30-8:30pm | 350 E 2nd Ave – Unit 116 | Free | DETAILS

BEACH PARTY | Sunset Beach sounds like a pretty good time on Friday night: expect to see the strip of beach between Bute and Thurlow bustling with a roving Mariachi band, a makeshift Roller Disco rink (free skates to borrow), an art market (brought together by the crafty peeps at Blim), as well as ping pong, beach blanket hang outs, and free food from food trucks (you just have to sign up in advance to collect a voucher). Even if there are clouds in the sky, this is a great kick off to a Labour Day long weekend.
Fri, Aug 29 | 5pm till sundown | Beach Ave between Bute and Thurlow | Free | DETAILS

CONNECT | The Trout Lake Community Centre starts a new community tradition this Friday night. Twilight at Trout Lake is an end of the summer community gathering that encourages Vancouverites to bring lanterns to the park and participate in a procession around the lake to take in a variety of light installations, appreciate the beauty of the surroundings, and connect with friends and neighbours. This event goes down rain or shine. Arrive early to take advantage of the free lantern making workshop (6:30pm in the community centre)
Fri, Aug 29 | 7:30-9:30pm | Trout Lake Park (3300 Victoria) | DETAILS

BIRDS OF A FEATHER | Seasons are shifting. Bird migratory behaviour sees many of the species that have been hanging around Vancouver all summer start to head south while others arrive from the north. Grab yourself a Sunday morning coffee or tea and scoot down to Stanley Park for a guided walk that will focus on the varied and beautiful bird life of the park. Learn how to identify a different species, hear a little bit about bird behaviour, and fill your lungs with some outstanding fresh air while you’re at it.
Sun, Aug. 31 | 9-11am | Stanley Park Ecology Society – Nature House | $By donation | DETAILS 

LIVE MUSIC | The 10th annual Victory Square Block Party happens this Sunday. Local talent taking the stage include The Shilohs, Cool, Dead Soft, Tough Age, Supermoon, Purple Hearts Social Club, Nervous Talk, and Fountain. There will also be food trucks (everyone loves a food truck), DJ’s to fill the space in between sets, prizes (a raffle of goodies supplied by local business) and general good vibes. Make sure you grab one of those raffle tickets with proceeds going to support Megaphone, a magazine sold by local homeless and low income vendors to generate personal income, and CiTR 101.9FM (Vancouver’s independent community radio station).
Sun, Aug. 31 | 2-9pm | Victory Square Block Party (Cambie & W. Hastings) | Free | DETAILS

GUERRILLA PARTY | If you wander a little further east along Hastings this Sunday you’ll run into the Urban Guerrilla Folk Festival. From Princess to Heatley there will be musicians, fire eaters, folk dancers, drummers, jugglers, crafters – the usual awesomeness that comes with an East Side community festival, and yet this one is slightly different with guerrilla tone: no food trucks, no sponsors, and no proceeds, just a big potluck.
Sun, Aug 31 | 1:30-5pm | Hastings (Princess to Heatley) | FREE | No website (come on, Guerrilla events don’t have websites)

CHOW | Food Cart Fest goes down on Sunday. Take advantage of the fact that close to two dozen food trucks will be parked around communal tables ready to feed you. And this week, Eastside Flea is arranging a Giant Open-Air Boot Sale & Market. “A boot sale is an old fashioned way of organizing a flea market. Traditionally vendors would pull up in their vans, open the back door and just start selling…” Check out the Boot Sale details here.
Sun, Aug 31 | 12-5pm | 215 West 1st Avenue $2 entry charge | DETAILS

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late-may-2009-169Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy (but faithful) camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES | On Killing Blackbirds And Promising To End Homelessness Again

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by Sean Orr | Good question: When politicians promise to run clean campaigns, what does it mean? Hmm, it probably means about as much as when they promise to end homelessness

Related tweet of the day:

Think Political Donations Are Benign? You Must Be a Politician. I’d say throw Bill Bennet in jail but he’d probably just buy his way out.

Diner en Brûlée: Firefighters respond to Vancouver’s Diner en Blanc after paper lanterns soar all over city. OK, next year we’re totally going to bring massive fans to blow the lanterns right back into their little elitist soiree. They’ll all end up looking like toasted marshmallows, and it will be adorable.

Bedroom City: Downtown Vancouver residential boom creates need for services, amenities. If only there was some sort of Yaletown-like neighbourhood only 5 minutes away.

Cirque de so Lame: City of Vancouver puts limits on Concord Pacific’s use of False Creek land. Well, if Concord Pacific are allowed to squat on the land, maybe they should re-locate the entire Oppenheimer Park tent city there. I’m sure the False Creek Residents Association would be happy to accommodate them. Right?

OSGEMEOS Transforming Industrial Silos at the Vancouver Biennale. Little do they know they’re actually pawns in Port Metro’s little PR scheme.

Double double (the profits): Burger King in Talks to Buy Tim Hortons in Canada Tax Deal. Top comment: “If BK ends up saving all that money in taxes, the wealth will trickle down to the employees, not the shareholders and executives, right?”

“At least the fries were cooked”. The Gillotine strikes again: Donnelly Group’s Blackbird bistro a fine-dining disaster.

Vancouver Island restaurant cancels its no-tipping policy. Memo to the owner: in order to have customers not tip, you’ll probably need some customers first.

Instagram of the Day: Twain on the Train.

My friend saw a Sasquatch.

SCOUT LIST | Ten Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

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by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. You can also check it out in the Globe & Mail, from our calendar to theirs…and yours! 

SLOW DOWN | We hate to break the bad news, but these are the last days of summer. Grab a malted milkshake or a sundae at Glenburn Soda, hike your way out to Quarry Rock in Deep Cove, pick some blackberries for a homemade blackberry syrup and have a patio cocktail party, swim in a lake, sit on a beach, hang in the park, and basically just drink it all in, folks. Summer doesn’t last forever.

SPACE JAM | Catch some live music at The Bottleneck on Thursday night. Sit back and to listen to local musicians Geoff Berner, Colleen Rennison, Marta McKeever and Bob Sumner and know that you are also racking up karma points. Proceeds from the evening will go to support Sonic Art Space (a new workshop space for kids that will offer alternative music classes taught by local musicians and artists (think Synth For Kids, Lyrics and Songwriting and Sketching with Sound). Sonic Art Space aims to open doors this fall but between now and then they need to amass a serious collection of instruments and this fundraiser is going to help them do that. Sit back, drink a cold beer, listen to some music and enrich the lives of children – one tambourine at a time. That’s a solid Thursday night right there folks.
Thursday,  Aug 21 | 7-11pm | The Bottleneck (870 Granville) | $10 | DETAILS

FILM | Showcasing queer alternatives to mainstream film, the Queer Film Festival takes place in numerous venues around town this week. Anti-homosexuality laws in Russia inspired this year’s “Queer Russia” focus. For a full list of films (and events) have a look here. Closing night is Sunday and final screenings are followed by a party at The Junction Pub (1138 Davie St).
Now through August 24 | Various venues | $12 | DETAILS

FARM | Take a trip out to the UBC Farm on Saturday morning. Not only can you pick up farm grown fruits and veggies at the farmers market (as well as baked goods, preserves, flowers and other treats), but Certified Master Beekeeper Jenny Ma from Vancouver Honeybees will be on site demonstrating how to extract honey from honeycomb. The super excellent news about that is the resultant honey will be jarred right then and there and available for purchase.
Sat, Aug 23 | 9am-1pm | UBC Farm (3461 Ross Dr) | Free | DETAILS

GARLIC FESTIVAL | This weekend is the 6th annual Garlic Fest out at the Terra Nova Sharing Farm in Richmond. Head out to learn about the health benefits and culinary uses of garlic, check out cooking demonstrations, and sample all manner of garlic related goodies (from garlic pizza and garlic bread to pickled garlic scapes and garlic ice cream (not even kidding). Bonus: free admission, free parking, and a bicycle valet.
Sun, Aug. 24 | 10am-3pm | Sharing Farm, Terra Nova Park | Admission by donation | DETAILS

HARVEST | Trust the peeps at your local farmer’s market to arrange for a celebration of peak tomato season. Now’s the time to be harvesting, canning and eating tomatoes, so get yourself to Trout Lake (Saturday) or Kits (Sunday) Farmers Markets to learn about, appreciate, sample and worship the glorious tomato. In addition to fresh from the vine specimens available for you to take home, there will also be displays, tastings, chef tours, seed saving and preserving tips, and – get this – a limited run of tomato basil gelato crafted by Bella Gelateria.
August 23 | 9am-2pm | Trout Lake | North Parking Lot, John Hendry Park | DETAILS
August 24 | 10am-2pm | Kitsilano | Kits Community Centre, 10 & Larch St | DETAILS

ANIME | If you’re walking around downtown this weekend and you notice an uptick in the number of adults kitted out in full-on anime costumes, that’s probably because Anime Revolution is on. The three day event will include exhibits, dancing, gaming, live musical performances, discussion panels, lots of wigs, and a staggering amount of cosplay.
Fri, Aug 21- Sun, Aug 24 | Various times | Vancouver Convention Centre | $35-$200 | DETAILS

DISCOVER | Whether you’re new to the city or just interested in brushing up on local history, a walking tour with the Architectural Institute of British Columbia is awesome. View the personality of the city through the prism of its landmarks, buildings, structures and streets. Learn about  heritage preservation, contemporary and historic architectural styles, the impact urban planning policy has on the evolution of the city, and more. There are six tours in all, each covering a distinct area of the city. Walks include: Chinatown (From yesterday to Today); Gastown (The Historic Beginning of Vancouver); Strathcona (Vancouver’s First Neighbourhood); Yaletown (Industrial Expansion and Evolution); West End (Residential Transformation), and Downtown (The Business Core of Vancouver). AIBC Walking Tours begin at the AIBC office at 440 Cambie Street (@Pender) at 10am and 1pm most days of the week (except Monday and Friday afternoons).
Various days | 10am, 1pm | 440 Cambie Street | $10 | DETAILS

ICE CREAM | Beta5 is having another one of those ice cream socials that your friends have been talking about. On Friday night (from 7 until sunset) and again on Saturday afternoon between 1 & 5 pm, the award-winning East Vancouver chocolate and pastry shop will be serving up ice cream sandwiches, sundaes, floats, and other frozen treats. A trip to Beta5 always yields good things. Indeed, the prospect of a proper sundae built by this team is a mind-blowingly attractive one, and if the window for such an indulgence is only 24hrs wide, it shouldn’t be missed! We went last weekend and can confirm that the line-up is worth the wait!
Fri, 7-sunset | Sat, 1-5pm | 413 Industrial Avenue | Beta5.com

RUN | The Lululemon Seawheeze half marathon happens this weekend. Participation in the run is at capacity, but if you aren’t running you can still cheer from the sidelines (three main cheering stations have been set up to support the 10,015 people registered to run), attend yoga classes, and hit the after-party (Sunset Festival) in Brockton Oval. $25 gets you fresh air yoga, food, and a cold beer.
Sat, Aug 23 | all day (marathon 7am, after party 6-11pm) | DETAILS

CHOW | Food Cart Fest goes down this Sunday. Take advantage of the fact that close to two dozen food trucks will be parked around communal tables ready to feed you. Expect Soho Road, Mom’s Grilled Cheese, Mogu, Roaming Dragon, Vij’s, Yolks, and Tacofino – maybe even The Juice Truck. And the fun doesn’t stop there. There will also be live music, a community market, and all manner of ancillary vendors making it the raddest bit of undeveloped real estate in the city. Food Cart Fest is located between Olympic Village and Cambie St. Bridge.
Sun, Aug 24 | 12-5pm | 215 West 1st Avenue $2 entry charge | DETAILS

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late-may-2009-169Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy (but faithful) camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES | On Peeping Drones & Kerrisdale Likened To A Bastion Of Marxism

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by Sean Orr | Seizing the means of reduction: Urbanization: Who’d have guessed? Kerrisdale as a bastion of Marxism. It’s a good article, but seizing land is hardly a Marxist thing to do. Just ask our First Nations. Or simply watch this show for children.

Capital Regional District decides not to expropriate Grace Islet. Especially fitting that this story should published in the Times-Colonist

Speaking of expropriation: Don’t Let Rich People Own Apartments They Don’t Live In. Good idea. Maybe we could create an apartment-sharing social enterprise and call it Zipartment.

Pete McMartin: Keep our roads safe — ban cars. If it sounds like hyperbole, it is. And that’s the point. I linked to this before, and I’m doing it again: Why Bikes Make Smart People Say Dumb Things.

Making a window out of concrete: Gag order to be imposed on new RCMP transparency office. We’re going to give you this whistle, OK? And if anything seems strange, you go into this sound-proof isolation booth and blow it so nobody can hear you, OK?

Emails show federal officials worried about second Idle No More movement. Wait…does this mean that the Idle No More movement actually went idle at some point? Worried is a good word for it. Terrified is another.

Dudette Relaxing Recreation Area: Dude Chilling Park sign vandalized again. I can’t think of a better place to discuss the merits of feminism than the comments section of Vancity Buzz.

Did you see it? Huge meteor spotted across Southern BC. Are you sure it wasn’t a UFO or a peeping drone?

Steve Moore, Todd Bertuzzi Settlement Reached Decade After On-Ice Attack. Even so, Bertuzzi-ing remains a huge problem on Vancouver’s streets.

TEA & TWO SLICES | On CP Rail’s PR Fail & Another Old White Guy Whining About Weed

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by Sean Orr | Free Canada, Trade Harper: Canada’s wine industry may face restrictions if leaked EU trade deal is accurate. Are you sure you want to wake the beast within wine drinkers? Best comment: “Who cares a fiddlers foot about the wind industry” (sic).

Community hardens, rails against bullying: Arbutus Corridor Bulldozing By CP Rail Begins. Surprised there weren’t any concerned Kitsilanoans chained up to the bulldozers. If only it were a bike path

One way to really Save On Meats: Food supplier claims Save On Meats owner Mark Brand stiffed it on bills.

This hurts my noodle: ‘Pastafarian’ fights to wear colander in B.C. driver’s licence photo. For what it’s worth, I didn’t even have to strain myself to think of a pun for this one.

Salmon Cannon Shoots Fish Over Dams. That’s Right—A Fish Cannon. Yeah, I’ll believe that when Pinks fly.

Creator of SkyTrain massacre video game defends work. Well, at least he’s not the one conflating realities: “It takes place in an actual Vancouver Skytrain…” Nope. No it doesn’t. For the record, it takes place on a computer. “Is this game going to make any money?” Yeah, because that’s what really matters. “Scott joins us today from the Main Street Skytrain Station. Scott, do you see anyone – anyone at all – there today, on any sort of rampage?” “No Mike, but time can only tell…”

Concrete crashes onto sidewalk in Downtown Eastside. Is (this Concord Pacific-owned) building now a metaphor on real estate speculation and corporate squatting?

TransLink considers changing name of Evergreen Line. Hmm, they must have seen Scout’s Nevergreen Line entry.

Old white dude writes anti-pot editorial: Legalizing dope would cost everybody. “When dope is legalized in Canada, will that mean our co-workers can get stoned on the job every day, dumping more work on the rest of us?” Hey look, just because you’re legally allowed to get drunk and pen ridiculous opinion pieces doesn’t mean the rest of us are as irresponsible as you are. Also, taxes.

Has it been a year already? The Worst of Vancouver, 2014 Edition: “Winners”.

TEA & TWO SLICES | On Getting Denied At Diner En Blanc And Pipeline Sentimentalism

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by Sean Orr | A guest writer in The Province is anti-anti-everything: B.C.’s anti-everything movement needs to end. He needs to be reminded that the people who are against the pipelines aren’t anti-resource. They are merely against the unsustainable and destructive practices of fracking and the tar sands. Moreso, they’re against wholesale extraction that only benefits crony corporations with no benefit to the public. “You only have to consider the facts”, he writes, offering anecdotes about mother, his friends, and a $900 mountain bike.

But then again, ‘Responsible capitalism’ is nonsense.

Kevin O’Leary leaves CBC’s The Lang & O’Leary Exchange. Awesome, now all that’s left is for him to leave Canada.

Low-hanging fruit: Rob Ford says threatening email has given him 12 hours to resign or City Hall will be blown up.

Cuts like a knife: Bryan Adams Slams Stephen Harper For Canada’s Gaza Stance. Leading to the Tweet of the day:

Schadenfreude level 10: Sold-out Diner en Blanc leaves thousands of Vancouverites seeing red. Aw, let’s all feel bad for the poor elitists who didn’t make the cut.

Did you hear the one about the mother who moved into the DTES and was surprised to find the DTES

Related: Let’s work to radically change Vancouver.

Man without tattoo found living in East Van. Sigh. Judging by the comments below the piece I think we might need a local version of Literally Unbelievable.

Craigslist of the Day: 10 / hr to sit in a car.

Bonus: Lewis Found.

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