TEA & TWO SLICES: On Kids Burning Town Houses And Adults Paying For Crack Videos

by Sean Orr | Maybe next time, instead of bothering with polls, just ask who Bob Rennie is voting for and that’s your winner. Clark thanks condo kings for their support.

Resistance is futile: Vancouver theatre faces a real tragedy. “Do Vancouver citizens really not care about the arts? Are we all too busy staring at our smartphones to realize that losing a great, live theatre venue like this is a tragedy?” Oh shut up, Hume. We’ve been fighting this fight for a lot longer than you. It’s far more likely that this war of attrition on culture has tired and deflated it’s most vocal critics, and now the corporate (yes, a mega-church falls into that category) takeovers are unstoppable.

See also: No Imagination

You play with fire, you’re bound to get burned: Last night we burned down a yuppie development on 1st Avenue near Victoria. Ha ha! So you burn down an unfinished town home in the middle of the night and people are supposed to be scared? Where I was growing up that was just called Friday night.

Complicit in conquest: Chief takes to Twitter to criticize ‘Empire Days’ moniker. “It seems to come up by people who kind of isolate some of their thinking” – Roy Linder, publicity co-ordinator for the Empire Days Society. So a leader of an entire nation’s stance can be reduced to isolated thinking?

Rob Ford still MIA on drug allegations as ‘crackstarter’ bid to buy video tops $75,000. Why doesn’t Nigel Wright just cut Rob a check so he can buy the video himself?

Marg Delahunty & Mike Duffy. “Smith and Wenson created a gun just for him. It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it”.

Is it getting hot in here? 2013 Expected To Be One Of Canada’s Top 10 Warmest Summers. No need to go to the beach. It will come to you.

Bonus: Microbes may prevent huge range of diseases. So the next time someone tells you to eat shit, just ask them “why, do I look pale?”

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Election Surprises And More Silly Fear Mongering In Gastown

by Sean Orr | Just as the Canucks could neither beat the San Jose Sharks nor the referees, the NDP could neither beat the Liberals nor the media. Or, in another hockey analogy, “the NDP must have consulted the Toronto Maple Leafs on how to hold a lead.”

And, again like the Canucks, taking the moral high ground gets you nowhere: Why did the NDP lose? Just as long as you don’t blame the Green Party, because “the only vote split that mattered was the one between the 48% who showed up and the 52% who couldn’t be fucking bothered”.

Which is exactly what the milquetoasts at The Tyee do: In a Greenless World, Would the NDP Have Won? Wherein their entire argument is predicated on the baseless assumption that every vote cast for the Greens would have been cast for the NDP. A more insightful question might be, what if the NDP backed the STV?

So how did the pollsters get it so wrong? Was it a conspiracy to keep the left apathetic? “Where the hell was Nate Silver on that one?”

The paradox of politics in BC c/o Dan Udey:

We hate the Liberals for bringing the HST in, even though it’s good for us. So we’ll get rid of the HST and keep the Liberals.

— Dan Udey (@danudey) May 15, 2013

Looking at a map, it seems the coast vs the interior is our version of Red State vs Blue State.

Not my Gastown: Where Are the Olympic Street Cams When We Need Them?
And the silly fear-mongering continues. Mentioning the Boston Marathon bombings in the same breath as anti-gentrification protests, as much as I think they are misguided, is just cheap, sophomoric journalism.

Ah, but what do I know? I’m the Frances Fukuyama of Gastown gentrification. Because history has nothing to do with our current social conditions, right? Wow.

SCOUT LIST: 10 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now & Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours…

CINEMA SALON | Every month, Vancity Theatre’s Cinema Salon producer Melanie Friesen asks a prominent Vancouverite to present their favourite film and speak to its greatness. This month, Dr. Ron Burnett, President and Vice-Chancellor of Emily Carr University of Art + Design presents director Jean Renoir’s La Règle du Jeu (The Rules of the Game). Often named as one of the greatest films in the history of cinema, The Rules of the Game is a film about class, politics and romance set on the eve of World War II. Stay after the screening for a drink and movie related conversation.
Tues, May 14 | 7:30pm | Vancity Theatre (1181 Seymour) | $13 | DETAILS

ART | The Positive Negative Gallery is gearing up for a polaroid photography show. “Beautiful Decay” launches this Thursday night and showcases the work of 30 artists from around the world (Germany, Sweden, England, Italy, Czech Republic, Australia, Brazil as well as the USA and Canada). As the gallery explains, this is a show that “sharpens its gaze on disorder and desolation, where memories are forgotten and left behind, and the laws of entropy take hold: the cracks and blood and decay of modern life. Everything grows older, yet is beautiful in its release.” If you can’t make it down on opening night, don’t worry. This show runs until June 1.
Thurs, May 16 | 7pm | Positive Negative Gallery (436 Columbia St) | Free | DETAILS

MORE ART | Don’t be sad that the Emily Carr Grad Show comes to an end this week. Cram as much in as you can before the show comes down on Sunday and then move on to some of the lovely off-shoot exhibitions like the photography show You Came Here By Chance at 221a Gallery. A group exhibition featuring a band of talented 2013 photography graduates from Emily Carr, You Came Here By Chance explores the idea of space in relation to environment and is intended to move the viewer to consider their relationships with the spaces they occupy. I caught quick glimpse of some of these works at The ECUAD Grad Show, and know that making the trip down to Chinatown for the opening reception will be worthwhile. Participating artists include Shannon McCubbin, Andy Jenkins, Avalon Mott, Jeff Downer, Caelan Warnock, Adria Leduc, Olivia Lowe, Sewari Campillo, Caroline Halley and David Peters.
May 16 – May 21 | 221a Artist Run Centre (221 E Georgia) | Free and inspiring | DETAILS

GIG | American indie rock band Yo La Tengo is in town. On the scene since the mid eighties and still blowing away critics and fans, these talented musicians are touring in support of their latest release “Fade”. They’ll be playing a few sets, one electric an one acoustic, at The Commodore on Saturday night.
Sat, May 18 | Doors 8pm | The Commodore Ballroom ( 868 Granville St) | $25 | DETAILS

CHOCOLATE | The newly opened East Van Roasters offers tastings of house-roasted coffee, drinking chocolate and flights of single origin chocolates. Slip into the beautiful Carrall Street shop (wooden tables and benches, original tile floors, brick walls and overhead windows) to sip and taste your fill while watching staffers winnow cacao beans and roast coffee.
East Van Roasters | 319 Carrall St. (next to Nelson The Seagull, across from Pidgin).

NATURE | Mosses and lichens are everywhere – part of the west coast landscape that we take for granted. Why are they so prevalent here? What are they all about? What do they do for us? Hook up with botanist Terry Taylor this Sunday to get the full story on what those fuzzy mosses and soft lichens can tell us about things like air quality, the history of a forest, and more. Any Sunday afternoon activity that can leave you better informed about your city and environment is a good one in our books! To pre-register, email programs@stanleyparkecology.ca.
Sun, May 19 | 1:30-3:30 | Stanley Park Nature House on Lost Lagoon | $10 | DETAILS

VINYL | Hustle over to the Cambrian Hall (just off of Main at 17th) on Saturday and Sunday to pick through box upon box of records at the Main Street Vinyl Record Fair! Talk old school stereo equipment, wear your old concert t-shirts, and marvel at the fact that there are still people out there who collect cassette tapes.
Sat, May 18 + Sun, May, 19 | 11am-4pm | Cambrian Hall (215 E 17th) | $2 at the door | DETAILS

FOOD FIGHT | Some of this city’s best chefs and bartenders will congregate at Vancouver Urban Winery this Sunday night to participate in Food Fight, a fundraising smörgasbord that will raise money for highly respected and much loved local chef, Owen Lightly. Owen is fighting cancer right now and he could use a little help by way of positive energy and relief from worrying about how his bills are going to be paid. All participating parties have donated time, energy and product to the evening, as have a seriously impressive collection of suppliers and artisan producers. Although tickets are now sold-out, more will likely be released at the door. Tickets for Food Fight are only $60, with the bar operating by donation, so be sure to bring cash. 100% of the ticket sales and proceeds of this fundraiser will go directly to Owen. If you can’t make it, you can donate by clicking next to the ticket sales box.
Sun, May 19 | 7pm | Vancouver Urban Winery (55 Dunlevy Ave) | $60 DETAILS
UPDATE: FOOD FIGHT IS NOW SOLD OUT. The venue is at capacity and no additional tickets can be sold. 

SCRUB UP | Learn how to make your own soap at The Homesteaders Emporium this week. There’s something very satisfying about making a product from scratch using your own hands. Get into it! Instructors will teach you how to blend oils and mix lye to produce handmade moisturizing, chemical-free bars of soap. (this Sunday’s class will focus on making vegan soap but the process and technique that you pick up can be easily applied to tallow soaps as well).
Sun, May 19 | 11am – 1pm | Homesteader’s Emporium (649 East Hastings St)

PLAN AHEAD | There is always something great going on that I’d like to write about but can’t because it has sold out. In an effort to get ahead of the game on this, The Scout List will occasionally include details of an event to plan ahead for. Case in point: Buying and Shooting Vintage Cameras with Trade School Vancouver. TSV is a barter-for-knowledge learning community wherein Vancouverites can sign up to take classes and pay their teachers in goods or services rather than cash. There are a few great sounding events on the horizon that you should look in to now, before they fill up. Buying and Shooting Vintage/Film Cameras goes down next Thursday, instructor Stephanie Fayewill lead a class focused (pun intended) on how to go analog. The self-confessed camera-obsessed Faye will talk about where to find quality equipment, how to tell good from bad, and what to do with your old school camera once you’ve got it.
Thursday, May 23 | The Hive (128 West Hastings St.) | Barter | Get on it

Check the Globe & Mail every Thursday for our Special Weekend Edition of the Scout List

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Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s shops and streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy, and uncooperative camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES: On Picking The Wrong Horse & The Gentrification Of Middle Earth

by Sean Orr | The hubris of the (soon to be) defeated: Confused B.C. Premier writes down two names on voting slip. This goes beyond mere innocent buffoonery.
Like George H. Bush seeing a scanning gun at a supermarket for the first time, her naivety illuminates the contempt that elites show for everyday life, the same contempt that made her run a red light.

Convenient amnesia: “Who stands for protecting and growing the economy? I do. Adrian Dix and the NDP plan to blow up our economy”. In 2008, the Liberals presented an election budget that later turned out to be $1.2 billion out of whack. Their expansion of the Convention Centre was three-times over budget. The new BC Place roof was 5 times over budget. Since 2001, the Liberals have increased the individual debt of every man, woman and child in this province from about $8,000 to $40,000 (source). For 8 years in a row, BC led Canada in child poverty. They bankrupted Translink. They spent $16 million of your own money on pre-election advertising and spent $11 million on the Times of India Awards show to court the “ethnic” South Asian vote (source). They gave themselves huge pay raises despite sitting the least number of days in parliament. Yeah, goodbye. And please close the door on your way out.

Lefties are driven by feelings, Righties by ideas and debate. That is so not true and the mere suggestion makes me feel so m…oh, I see what you did there. Clever.

Not even the Communists agree with it: PiDGiN protest attracts notice from Vancouver-Mount Pleasant candidates. Great, but I’m still confused as to why Elections BC groups together Gastown, Chinatown, Strathcona, Hastings-Sunrise, Cedar Cottage, and Mount Pleasant. I’m so sick of voting for Jenny Kwan. All Hans on deck?

We are not New York and never will be: Gentrification in “My Brooklyn” and the Downtown Eastside. I will just respond with this.

Business as usual: Another round of evictions. Wherein the same economic processes that forced Biotheque Cosmetics and Au Petit Chavignol to close are re-named “gentrification” for others.

Meanwhile The Red Gates move in to – yup, you guessed it - 800 East Hastings. How can you be victims and agents of gentrification at the same time? Moral relativism and the dichotomy of capital, that’s how.

Meanwhile, the Hush magazine seem to think it’s as simple as an increase in population: It’s not Gentrification. It’s Mathematics. Nope, not even close. It’s gentrification. Even I know that. It’s just that the DTES was a commercial district that was abandoned by big businesses and is now being filled up with small ones. The word gentrification is so vague that it refuses to differentiate between what is responsible and irresponsible.

Tweet of the Day c/o Cameron Reed:

You know, sometimes you just pick the wrong horse. And then that horse shuts down all the culture spaces in a city. Sorry, y’all.

— Cameron Reed (@cameronreed) May 13, 2013

The gentrification of Middle Earth: Hobbit House for sale. I saw someone share this on Twitter calling for Mayor Gregor to step in and save this 2.65 million dollar beloved piece of our heritage eyesore. Please Mr. Robertson, do something to stop the displacement of our tiny, furry-footed friends! Do it for The Shire and all that we ‘old dear!

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Picketing Fancy Art Galleries And Going The Distance For Drugs

by Sean Orr | If ever an inbox needed flooding: Will social media change Canadian politics? Hasn’t happened yet. Yeah, because Twitter didn’t absolutely explode when he suggested child porn was an issue of personal liberty. Anyways, here is Mr. Flanagan’s email address. Let him know if you agree or disagree.

Tom Flanagan did not write the following article: Time to shutter Attawapiskat reserve 266. “Let’s be blunt.” But why? You’re the media. It’s not your job to be blunt. It’s to offer up insight into the thousand shades of grey that permeate any and every discussion of our colonial heritage and the damage incurred therein. Can’t do it? Quit and start a blog. We got jackets and everything.

Alberta now the bogeyman in B.C. election battle. Christy Clark: “We don’t need the federal government and we don’t need Alberta.” Hmm, maybe she’s gunning to be the new leader of the Western Canada Concept Party now that Doug Christie has resigned died.

Infowars: What does $1.3 billion and $2.75 buy you from TransLink? Let’s not kid ourselves, it’s the bureacracy of Translink that people complain about, like how the board is made up of hand-picked CEOs who know everything about chauffeurs and nothing at all about transit.

United We Can’s move to new site poses problems for Vancouver binners. From a different article we see what that problem actually is: “Drug dealers have congregated around United We Can on East Hastings to take advantage of binners who are paid cash once they return their bottles. “When we move, we will leave that problem behind”. Ah, so the major problem posed is that they will have to travel farther to buy drugs? Got it, thanks.

The People vs Gregor Robertson. Well, you’re bound to upset people when you walk the ridiculously tight line between developer handouts and social welfare, but that doesn’t mean I’d trust anyone else to run this city. Also, this is the first time I have seen the word “bumf” used.

And this is the second time: Dear Georgia Straight: it’s over – The Man played the long game, and he won. “Pure real estate ad copy and lifestyle bumf”.

VIVO evicted. Yup, while anti-gentrification protesters target fancy restaurants, another art venue gets shuttered. It’s really too bad that it’s the artists (hipsters) who are the evil people who actually cause gentrification. I smell a gallery picket on the horizon, and it stinks.

And speaking of hipsters: Vancouver church buying the Centre for Performing Arts. Wow, who knew that capitalizing on the anxieties and fears of young people would actually pay off?

Waste Coast: A Day at Green Burrito.

SEEN IN VANCOUVER #444: Short Film With A Local Marine Biologist On Farmed Salmon

Here’s the latest short film from Lewis Bennett, a local man who we’ve been proud to support in his mission to make 12 films about BC. This is the ninth film in the series, and it’s a doozy called “An Afternoon with Alexandra Morton”.

We sat down with marine biologist Alexandra Morton in her backyard – to discuss her life, her predictions for the future of salmon in British Columbia, and her thoughts on humanity.

EVERYTHING SEEN IN VANCOUVER

SCOUT LIST: 10 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now & Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours…

OF A FEATHER | This is Bird Week. Being that Vancouver is a smack in the middle of the ‘Pacific Flyway’ route for migratory birds (the north-south route that flows from Alaska to Patagonia), we get to see plenty of seasonal species, and the city boasts a number of bird specialists willing to share their knowledge. So dig in, become a bird lover! There are so many great ways to get involved: peruse the bird displays mounted at The Vancouver Library Concourse Gallery, sit in on one of a series of talks (“From Herring to Gray Whales: One Bird’s Partnerships in a Changing Sea” on Wednesday night, “Society of Crows” on Saturday night) or take one of numerous guided walks at various locations around town. There’s even a Mother’s Day Tea with the Birds. The Stanley Park Ecological Society provides a comprehensive guide to bird related events. Check it out here.
All week | Various times and locations | FREE | DETAILS

ART | Vancouver artist George Vergette has some new work to show off. His latest show, Flowers and Trees, will feature a series of acrylic on canvas or resin on panel paintings. Rather than a description of content or theme, the title of the show is a reference to a 1932 Disney film shot in the Technicolor 3 strip process – a dye-transfer, colour photography method that Vergette explores in the development of his paintings. Hit the opening reception at Gallery Jones on Thursday to see for yourself.
Thur, May 9 | 5-9pm | Gallery Jones (1725 West 3rd Ave) | Free | DETAILS

HEALTH | Learn about growing and using plants as medicine this Thursday night at Growing Medicinals and Making Salves, a collaborative workshop. It’s being put on by the ladies of Victory Gardens, who will be talking about what medicinal plants are and which ones you can grow or forage for locally, and the Environmental Youth Alliance, who will be demonstrating how to make salves. It goes down at The Soap Dispensary on Main Street, and attendees all leave with knowledge AND a handmade salve.
Thur, May 9 | 7pm | The Soap Dispensary (3623 Main St.) | $25 | DETAILS

FEAST | Spot Prawns are coming to the docks of Granville Island this weekend! The official season begins on Saturday with the annual Spot Prawn Festival at False Creek’s Fisherman’s Wharf (just west of Granville Island on the south side of False Creek). The event, founded by the Chefs’ Table Society of BC, will include a huge spot prawn boil accompanied by sides and sauces, plus a wine and beer tent. All tickets for the 2013 Spot Prawn Boil will be sold in advance this year (none will be available at the door), so get yours by visiting the Chefs Table Society’s website. If the event sells out, don’t worry. You can buy the critters from the dock after noon!
Sat, May 11 | 11am-3pm | False Creek Fishermen’s Wharf | $12 | DETAILS

EAT LOCAL | Trout Lake and Kitsilano Farmers Markets open this weekend, and if that isn’t a sure sign of summer, I don’t know what is! Stock up on goodies like local salad greens and stinging nettles, fresh vegetables and herbs. There will also be artisan breads and preserves, honey, wild salmon, cookies, pies, flowers and even a food truck or two to keep you busy. Welcome back, farmers! We’ve missed you!
Trout Lake: Sat May 11 | 9am-2pm | North Parking Lot, John Hendry Park | DETAILS
Kits: Sun, May 12 | 10am-2pm | 2690 Larch @ 10th | DETAILS

COMMUNITY | The Stone Soup Festival is on this weekend celebrating food, art, the environment, and community. The festival includes growing and planting workshops for kids and for grown-ups, a talk about the economics of sustainable food systems, a bike tuning workshop, an origami workshop, live music, food and plant vendors, plus free soup! A strong and united community can do some amazing things, so get in the spirit!
Sat, May 11 | 12-5 pm | Britannia Community Centre (1661 Napier) | Free | DETAILS

SUPER SCORE | Bummed that Kurt Vile is playing a sold-out show at The Biltmore on Saturday night and you didn’t score tickets? Totally justifiable feeling! But don’t slip into a deep pit of despair. Comfort yourself with the next best thing: a Kurt Vile after-party! The cats at The Acorn are throwing a bit of an after-gig gig that will feature drink specials (how about a $4 pint or an Electric Light – lychee, prosecco, lemon thyme, gin and vanilla) and members of Kurt Vile and the Violators on DJ duty. And not for nothing, the new menu is out and it rocks, too.
Sat, May 11 | 10:30pm-2am | The Acorn (3995 Main St) | Free | DETAILS

CELEBRATE SCIENCE | Nerd out at Science Rendezvous this weekend. This is a party with something for everyone: from science-themed magic shows for young kids to short informative lectures for adults. Grab a kid (yours, preferably) to accompany you and sit in on short workshops, check out exhibit tables and listen to talks with titles like “The Future of Energy” and “Research in the Rainforest: Are Red-throated Caracaras Chemically-defended Against Wasps” (even though lectures are presented by some of SFU’s most celebrated faculty, they are designed to be accessible for those without a science background). Science Rendezvous goes down in 40 cities across Canada. Get out there and represent! Maybe you’ll come out a little smarter. If not, free popcorn and ice cream!
Sat, May 11th from 11 – 4pm | SFU, Burnaby (South Concourse, 3000 Level) | Free | DETAILS

EASTSIDE FLEA | Somewhere between a boutique vintage pop-up and a garage sale, a well executed flea market offers thrifty treasure hunters the chance to score unique goods at reasonable prices. The key components of a home-run are good selection, low prices and a mix of old and new. New York, London, Paris, LA – all the swell cities have them, and now, so do we: The Eastside Flea at the WISE Hall happens again this Saturday. Expect found, salvaged and reclaimed goods, vintage clothing and vinyl, hand made soaps, jewellery and accessories and some kick-ass apple pie (The Pie Shoppe and Panoramic Roasters will be on site, hooray!). People are saying this is the best gig going, and the only one way to know for sure is to check it out for yourself this Saturday!
Sat, May 11 | 9am-3pm | The Wise Hall (1882 Adanac St) | Free | DETAILS

FOODIE ALERT | Love good street food? Get ready for the Hawker’s Market at East Van Studios this Saturday night. This time around the Hawkers Market sees a dramatic increase in the numbers and types of food on offer. The Wonton Girl will be there, so will Holy Crepe and Looters Lemonade. Chef Keev Mah from Gastown’s soon to open Bambudda will be serving up open flame, charcoal roasted suckling pig and there are rumours of a “boozy adult inspired ice cream sunday bar”. All of that AND drinks, music, and mingling, too? That’s a solid Saturday night, right there, kids. Tickets are 10 beans when you grab them in advance and 15 at the door. Snag yours here. SADLY, THIS EVENT HAS BEEN CANCELLED….”Today we had a very unfortunate turn of events at our venue. Our plumbing is not up to code and thus cannot hold a safe event consciously. As a collective between our team and all of the vendors we have agreed that rather than scaling back the event, we will reschedule so we do not have to sacrifice quality in any way.”
Sat, May 11 | 7pm – Late | Eastvan Studios (870 E Cordova) | $10/$15 at the door | DETAILS

Check the Globe & Mail every Thursday for our Special Weekend Edition of the Scout List

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Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s shops and streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy, and uncooperative camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES: On “Ref, You Suck!” & Gastown’s Tradition Of Nightclub Stabbings

by Sean Orr | Imagine the Iron Lady in a Canucks’ jersey: Christy Clark continues with the Margaret Thatcher schtick. Perhaps it just highlights the chauvinism of conservative morality and it’s probably why women haven’t warmed to the BC Liberals during her tenure.

Pre-emptive strike? Enter the George W. Bush approach to criminology: When Proactive Policing Crosses the Line. Those stats are mind blowing! They’d totally give credence to the anti-gentrification protests if Pidgin co-owner Brandon Grosutti personally gave out each of those 1448 tickets. He didn’t? Oh.

Yawn: Is it me or is news a lot more boring than in days gone by? Was that a de facto admission that your paper has failed as a source of journalistic integrity?

Man stabbed outside Vancouver nightclub. Welcome to the neighbourhood, Empire Nightclub! Carrying on the great Vancouver tradition of nightclub stabbings! Loft 6 would be proud…

What happens when a Canucks fan orders pizza during the game? Hilarity ensues. Perfectly understandable, bro.

And speaking of the Canucks, where are the conspiracy theorists when you really need them? Have another donut, ref. You suck.

Popular Vegan Secret Supper Club gets cookbook treatment. Attagirl, Merida!

Bonus: Seedstock Community Currency.

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Harper’s History & Getting Hysterical About Junior Anarchists

by Sean Orr | Canadian history comes under Conservative review in Parliament. As it happens, John A. Macdonald was a lumberjack who single handedly defeated the Nazis at the battle of 1812. True story!

Voters should be concerned about Adrian Dix’s flip-flops. Wherein Jordan Bateman conveniently omits that he is the president of Rich Coleman’s Fort Langley-Aldergrove riding. Alas, witness the attack-ad morality of conservatives and the Liberal platform mentioning the NDP more than it does First Nations. They are obsessed! Time to fight back?

Tweet of the Day c/o Steve Burgess:

Hey, maybe the #Canucks can buy the front page of 24 Hours tomorrow to announce a Game One victory. #bcpoli

— Steve Burgess (@steveburgess1) May 2, 2013

Oh noes, the little anarchists are coming! Hide yo children! Hide yo wife! Mayor Robertson: Soon There Will Be Blood. I was waiting for them to stop by L’Abattoir. I made a helpful sign and everything.

Meanwhile, the VPD put out an APB for UBC Lab Animal protestor, Occupy Protestor, Pidgin protestor Robyn Pickell. Psst! Try looking inside a dumpster off Commercial Drive.

Round two, fight! Vancouver Not Vegas issues court challenge to Pavco and Paragon BC Place casino plan. Oh, just leave the poor slot machines alone!

Poetry is Dead: Mental Health: Inside/Out – Letter from the Editors.

Local restaurant owner speaks out on service, tipping, and server wages. One thing that I haven’t seen mentioned is that the server wage is a de facto admission by the government that you no longer have to declare your tips as income.

Spartacus Books on East Hastings is being evicted: But Why?.

A message from John, the recently shuttered arts and culture facility at 1870 Pandora Street.

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Mayday Marching And Buying The Front Page In Desparation

by Sean Orr | Well, when you can no longer buy the media, just buy the front page! Front-page B.C. Liberal election ad calling Christy Clark the ‘comeback kid’ an ‘illusion’: NDP leader Adrian Dix. Yup, a fake front page for a fake premier…

The Not Working At All party: No political party for 100,000 people facing homelessness in B.C.. Wherein Rabble examines the gamut of political parties in BC from NDP to Liberal. Seriously, I dare you to look at the Green Party platform, like once.

This election stuff is soooo gay: Nine openly gay candidates running in BC election. Let’s just hope we are spared the Tim Tebow-style “proud to be straight” knee-jerk reaction.

Death by a thousand cuts: Students protest Capilano University arts program cuts. Although in a way it’s probably the most a college has ever done to actually prepare students for the real world.

M’Aidez: See you at the Vancouver Mayday Anti-Capitalist March. Yup, I’m one reminding you that food and beverage servers have their own special minimum wage that is lower than everyone else’s. So take your co-optation of a proud working class tradition elsewhere. Might I suggest Goldman Sachs?

Or maybe the offices of The Fraser Institute: First Nations reserves: The land private property forgot. Halleleujah, the free market is here to save us from our colonial past!

Hundreds complain about Vancouver parking officers. The not so delicate art of parking?

Bonus: “Whom we play tonight hardly matters”. Nabokov wins one for the Islanders.

SCOUT LIST: 10 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now & Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours…

LEARN | The Internet is a massive part of our social, political, economic and creative lives, but what is it exactly? If you’ve ever stopped to think about the answer to that question and are interested in getting to the bottom of it, make your way down to hear author Andrew Blum (Tubes: A Journey to the Center of the Internet) give it his best shot. Blum will be at the centre of Vancouver’s Internet Exchange (yes, there is such a thing and it’s really located at SFU Harbour Centre) to give his talk, which is entitled Tubes and Exchanges: Discovering the Real Places of the Internet. Curious? Use your internet connection to find out more here. Admission is free, but reservations are required and will likely be spoken for quickly.
Thursday, May 2 | 7pm | SFU Harbour Centre (515 W. Hastings St) | DETAILS

THE CAVE SINGERS | Live music is such a good move. Do yourself some good and catch The Cave Singers at the Commodore this Thursday night. The indie folk/rock band from Seattle is coming over the border to play tunes from their most recent album, Naomi. Joining them on stage will be The Bleeding Rainbow. So grab a cold bottle of beer, a place in the crowd that has a good view, and enjoy!
Thursday, May 2 | Doors 8pm / Show 9:30pm | Commodore Ballroom (868 Granville) | $18.50 | DETAILS

POP-IN LOCKER ROOM | Canadian brand Muttonhead (unisex clothing made from high quality and sustainable materials and designed to outlast trends) launches their Spring/Summer 2013 “Good Sport” collection with a pop-in-shop exhibit at Chinatown’s Board of Trade Co. this weekend, but if you head down on Thursday night you’ll catch a party that will include a little bit of love from Caribou Brewing Co. and Vancouver Urban Winery, as well as a baseball card-themed photo booth (awesome).
May 2-5 | 11am – 6pm daily | Board of Trade (227 Union St) | DETAILS

SHARE | Take a seat at the ShwayShway Cafe to meet new people, share good food and slow down a little. The pop-up long table series is setting up shop at The Chinatown Experience this weekend to serve up Middle Eastern-influenced mezzo plates featuring Yummus hummus, beef or roasted vegetable Tajine (stew), dessert made by Sunday Morning Ice Cream and drinks for $30 (you might even see a hookah making it’s rounds). We hear that Friday and Saturday nights might already be sold out, but there are still seats for Sunday and the lunches of hummus, baba ganouj, labneh, sides and tea for $10 are wide open. More here.
May 3, 4, & 5 | Lunch 11-6pm, Dinner 7-11pm | 434 Columbia St | $10/$30 | DETAILS

FUSE GRAND HOTEL | Once every few months, The Vancouver Art Gallery lets loose. These occasional breaks from the usual civilized gallery behaviour are known as FUSE – an evening of music, live performance, DJs and art. This time around, FUSE follows the theme of the museum’ latest exhibition: Grand Hotel. Expect comedy improv inspired by hotel-themed films, live jazz, a touch of Andy Warhol and a little Blim (with the added incentive of a cash bar and gallery tours).
Friday, May 3 | 8pm–1am | Vancouver Art Gallery (750 Hornby St.) | $20 | DETAILS

GET ACQUAINTED | Forbidden Vancouver is leading a Lost Souls of Gastown walking tour this weekend that will take you through the back alleys and dark corners of historical Gastown. By the time you’re done you’ll know all about Gassy Jack, Klondike Kate and poor old John Bray. You’ll also get a feel for what the neighbourhood vibe was like way back when and gain a better appreciation for its street names, architecture and variouslandmarks.
Saturday, 4 May | 8pm | Various Locations In Gastown | $22 | DETAILS

KARMA | Local artist Wendy Sexsmith is trying to brighten rehab up by raising funds for a mural project that would transform the colourless hallways of Onsite (a DTES rehabilitation centre). How can you contribute to building a stronger and healthier community through art? It’s as easy as enjoying a plate of Huevos Rancheros. Just show up at the Interurban Gallery for brunch this Sunday and the money you spend on breakfast will go toward funding this project. Bonus: Vancouver band The Sojourners are playing.
Sunday, May 5 | 11:30 | Interurban Gallery (1 E. Hastings @ Carrall) DETAILS

WATCH | Doxa is on, and with 74 screenings at 5 venues, there’s plenty to keep you entertained. Highlight include Vancouver director Corey Ogilvie’s Occupy The Movie, Google and the World Brain by Ben Lewis. Also look out for Slow Food Story (Sunday, May 5 @ 3:45 pm) in which Director Stefano Sardo follows the delicious adventures of Slow Food movement founder Carlo Petrini as he endeavours to foster an anti-fast-food movement.
May 3-12 | Various times, Various venues | DETAILS

WILD EDIBLES | Figure out what you can and can’t chow down on while on a trek through local forests by taking a two-hour guided tour with the well informed culinary peeps at Swallow Tail Tours. Not only will hike leaders will brief you on where to find and how to identify delicious items such as wild mushrooms, fiddleheads, berries and stinging nettles, but they’ll also fix you up with secrets of how to prepare them for optimum impact and (the best of all part) they’ll also make you lunch using foraged food right on your walk.
Sunday May 5 | 11am | Lynn Headwaters, North Vancouver | $39 | DETAILS

THE SHOW | Prepare to be blown away this Sunday at the annual Degree Exhibition at Emily Carr. Wander the galleries, hallways, foyers and classrooms of the campus to take in upwards of 300 works by talented graduating students.  Students exhibiting their work have come through ECUAD in Design, Media and Visual Arts. And for the first time this year, Emily Carr will be offering one-hour tours for those wishing to get a more in-depth understanding of the work on display.
Sunday May 5 | 5-10pm | ECUAD (1400 Johnston, Granville Island) | DETAILS

Check the Globe & Mail every Thursday for our Special Weekend Edition of the Scout List

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Michelle Sproule grew up in Kitsilano and attended University in Australia and the University of Victoria before receiving her graduate degree in Library Sciences from The University of Toronto. She lives in beautiful Strathcona and enjoys wandering aimlessly through the city’s shops and streets with her best friend – a beat up, sticky, grimy, and uncooperative camera.

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TEA & TWO SLICES: On Pizza For Lunch & The Scourge Of Gentrification In Yaletown

by Sean Orr | Stop Thinking: String of terror incidents no reason to ‘commit sociology’: Stephen Harper. Well, I was thinking of taking a nap first but I was planning to do some sociology later on tonight, if you catch my drift…

You’re bound to be disappointed when you reject everything: B.C. NDP disappoints anti-poverty activists with campaign promises on welfare rates. OK, OK, I take that back, the NDP needs to do better. May I suggest a scalpel and some crazy glue?

Yaffe while you can: Barbara Yaffe: If B.C.’s NDP wins, those of us needing to work can always move to Alberta. Oh, please do! In this case, those of us needing work are those of us who are corporate shills willing to ram the free market narrative through the fourth estate. “A new Raven coal mine on Vancouver Island, or a Prosperity gold copper mine in the Cariboo-Chilcoten, or BC Hydro’s Site C dam near Fort St. John? No, no and no.” Yes, yes, yes!

Hagiographic tripe: Christy Clark, a politician first (and reckless driver second). “In her son’s bag is the pizza and Krispy Kreme doughnut Clark packed for his lunch. Left on the dining room table at home is the raffle-ticket sign-up form that still needs to be completed”. Ignoring for a second that this actually passes for journalism in 2013 (shudder), she packs pizza and doughnuts for her kid’s school lunch. Healthy family strategy, my ass!

Finally, a candidate you can believe in: Mischa Popoff Will Not Be Bullied. Oh, I can smell the manure from here!

BC Election 2013 Wildcard: How ’bout those Canucks? You didn’t need to give people another reason not to cheer for them, sheesh.

So…now anytime a business goes bankrupt we get to blame gentrification? Tapas bars and bottles and cans: when your neighbourhood leaves you behind. Just to make sure, you guys realize you are talking about losing a tapas bar in Yaletown, right?

Another real estate scam: Who is Kerri Lynn McAllister?

TEA & TWO SLICES: On My Big Election & Homeless Dave’s Amazing New Discoveries

by Sean Orr | Uh-oh! Someone got their funding taken away: Vancity in the Downtown Eastside: The Gentrification Drive of BC’s Largest Credit Union. Or all of these things are bad: hiring otherwise un-employable members of the community, growing food in under-used lots, sandwich tokens, Woodwards, Habitat for Humanity, the Portland Hotel Society, donuts, coffee, and of course, the hidden perils of tight pants and facial hair.

Related: “I live near the condos [60 W Cordova] and I notice there are stores nearby now that sell $12,000 couches”, Uh, here’s a newsflash for Homeless Dave: InForm has been “near the condos” for decades. Seriously, why isn’t anyone blaming the Old Spaghetti Factory?

Related: Ivan Drury has resigned from his position as CCAP’s main organizer. Ding, dong, is the witch really dead?

Kinder Surprise: Dix declares opposition to Kinder Morgan pipeline expansion. Happy (belated) Earth Day future Premier, even if you are anti-Canadian.

Hey, why not sell the Convention Centre Expansion at a huge loss, too? Dix says NDP will try to sell BC Place to cover Pavco debt. Leading to the Tweet of the Day c/o LeyneLes:

“Fully-renovated character stadium, close to downtown. Receipts available. 100+ bathrooms. Motivated vendor. ”

— Les Leyne (@LeyneLes) April 24, 2013

I’ve got a big election: Whipped: The Secret World Of Party Discipline. Kinky. I think I’m going to go poll my riding.

I love Canada: Moose scientists ‘muzzled’ during B.C. election. For serious.

No tunes for you: Grimes denounces sexism in music industry.

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