TEA & TWO SLICES: On Letting Grandpa Use The Computer And The Horrors Of Farmland

by Sean Orr | Is Canada Ignoring Signs of a Coming Economic Collapse? I feel like I’ve been yelling at a brick wall for the past 7 years…

Funny/not funny: Muslim man: My workplace quip made me a terror suspect. “What’s wrong with saying ‘Bomb’ on an airplane?”

Something stinks: Delta councillor ‘horrified’ with port’s view on farmland. They hate it. They hate the smell. And they hate that it’s not a parking lot filled with shipping containers from China.

Y is for Yawn: Open letter to the Baby Boomers from Generation Y. I thought we were called Generation Next. Anyways, whatever. I mean, who cares?

Ho vs. Hooker: Vancouver billionaire guilty of confining woman. Oh I see, it’s just a “bad date” for an otherwise decent gentleman. Meanwhile, bad dates for dozens of women in the DTES and up north remain unsolved or could have been solved earlier. Shame.

Police tactics making Victoria unsafe for homeless people. Good to see Jamie Graham using the skills he picked up here in Vancouver.

Who let grandpa on the computer again? Editorial: Anti-sugar crusaders should just butt out. The mixed metaphor in the headline just adds to the article’s sense of angry dementia.

Yes, they were from Surrey: “Intoxicated” bus riders arrested after alcohol stolen from North Vancouver restaurant. I guess that’s one thing chain restaurants are good for.

Bonus: The Man who Lived on his Bike

Foreign Intelligence Briefing #396: The DTES As Seen Through The Bright Prism Of Detroit

I love this short documentary. My neighbourhood is in it, even though it really isn’t. 9 Businesses depicts – yup – nine new businesses in the once mighty city of Detroit, which is still struggling to find some semblance of a renaissance after several decades of decay. While the parallels between the declines of Motown and the DTES aren’t perfectly aligned (far from it), the individuals profiled in the film most certainly are. The resemblances are uncanny. They share the very same goals, inspirations, and vocations of those who’ve recently set up shop in and around the DTES. They’re all cooks, craftsmen, designers, bakers, creatives, and such – all young, independent, and bereft of wealth, but eager nonetheless to inject some awesomeness back into a city they love. And the consequences for them are the same, too. They’re either welcomed as restorers of an urban fabric long ago rent asunder or scoffed at as the foot soldiers of gentrification, even though the realities on the ground are defined more by nuance and instance than the black and white of absolutism. Anyway, it’s worth watching if you can spare six and half minutes.

Tea & Two Slices: On Headlines For Harper And New Restaurants Dashing Our Dreams

by Sean Orr | Stephen Harper is ‘starving the beast’. God damn, why does every headline about the Prime Minister read like sexual innuendo?

Harpernomics: Attawapiskat third-party manager “sitting on” funds for new houses. Yeah, I got something he can sit on. See what i mean?

Give them enough rope… Tory senator’s idea: Give each murderer a rope inside their prison cell. That’s funny, that’s also how you kill a senator’s career.

Ferry Commissioners recommendations will take time and money. That’s OK, ferry passengers are used to waiting. Zing.

We want all the amenities the area has to offer, just not that one. Restaurant plan dashes homeowner’s neighbourhood dream. The site of an old brewery, eventually redeveloped so that people like Brenda Racanelli could move in and complain about a proposed brewery. Now that is Vancouverism.

Council seeks new direction in ousting of Vancouver’s chief planner. I can just hear the foam collecting in Klassen‘s pasty mouth. Ooooh, ‘what does it all mean? Let’s speculate’. Let’s not.

Truth dig: Income gap widened when Campbell was premier: economist. Which is why he was rewarded with a trip to the Bilderberg Conference.

Not sure why I find this hilarious: Longboarders object to increased fines, confiscation in proposed North Van bylaw. They just look so bummed!

Riot victim calls for accountability. OK, let’s be clear. This was a personal choice, albeit an incredibly brave one. The Riot Act had long been read. I found myself in a similar situation after trying to protect some Cars2Go. The crowd behind me yelled, “he’s a good guy” and the cop raised his baton and said “I don’t know who’s good and who’s bad – just get out of here”. So I did. I went home.

This is relevant to my interests: Sedins meet Drake.

Bonus: Urban Planet: Urban Highway Removal.

YOU SHOULD KNOW: About The History Of St. Paul’s (And Yes, It’s Totally Haunted)

by Stevie Wilson | Though we live in a city steeped in heritage, where rich historical artifacts are scattered about our daily scenery, it’s easy to forget how lucky we are to live exactly where we do. If you’re ever taking a stroll down Burrard St. or happen to take a tumble whilst scoping the area, check out St. Paul’s Hospital a little closer. In addition to being a state-of-the-art health care facility, the institution is a unique landmark and point of reference in the study of what makes our city so awesome.

The gold rush at the end of the 19^th century resulted in a huge population influx for the Vancouver area. Luckily for those frost-bitten gold-diggers, two members of the Montreal-based Sisters of Providence had recently set up shop on seven lots of property bordering what were then the city limits (purchased for a whopping $9000), and they were ready to treat their wounds. A 25-bed hospital was completed in 1894, but with a growing population and a steady rise of carriage accidents (one supposes), St. Paul’s expanded into a prestigious 50-bed facility just a decade later. The opening of a Nurse’s School in 1907 provided staff and resources for care when the hospital reached 500 beds in 1931. During the two World Wars, it was a primary care facility for the critically wounded.

As the sister hospital to St. Mary’s in New Westminster (whose 2004 closure saddened more than a few staff and heritage-lovers in the area), St. Paul’s was founded on principles of compassionate care and Catholicism, and would develop into one of the most modern and technologically-advanced hospitals in the province (until just a few years ago, prayer was recited twice daily on the overhead speakers in the hospital – how’s that for heritage preservation?). It was the first hospital in BC to use modern x-ray techniques and a standardized patient care records system, cementing its place in the community as a center for diagnostic research and treatment.

The construction of two additional towers in 1983 and 1991 further equipped St. Paul’s with the resources needed to become a pioneer in major treatment fields, including heart disease, kidney disease, nutritional disorders, the care of the disadvantaged, and HIV treatment (AIDS Vancouver was serendipitously founded the same year that St. Paul’s admitted their first AIDS patient).

Registered Nurse Kiley Moore-Dempsey praises the hospital for its warm atmosphere:  ”It’s different than other hospitals I’ve worked at. Nobody is turned away from St. Paul’s and no judgments are made about people’s lifestyle choices. It feels more welcoming.” That being said, she adds that “there are definitely spirits living in that hospital. Every nurse has their ghost or spirit stories to tell from working there, especially during night shifts. I definitely have a few that freak people out. That’s part of St. Paul’s charm I guess.”

St. Paul’s has emerged as a leading provider for cutting-edge health care. Even if your name isn’t followed by the letters MD, RN, or LPN, it doesn’t hurt to be mindful of the awesome facilities and history this city has available for you. But if it does hurt, St. Paul’s is ready to help you out.

Images courtesy of the Vancouver Archives and UBC Library Collection

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Stevie Wilson is an historian masquerading as a writer. After serving as an editor for the UBC History Journal, she’s decided to branch out with a cryptic agenda: encouraging the people of Vancouver to take notice of their local history and heritage with You Should Know, a Scout column that aims to show you the things that you already see. Just nod your head and pretend you’re paying attention.

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TEA & TWO SLICES: On Crazy Young People Talk And The Waldorf Jumping The Shark

by Sean Orr | The Age of Agenda: Prime Minister Harper unveils grand plan to reshape Canada. Declare war on Denmark; use remaining polar bears as drones; start using seal meat to feed aging seniors; all retirees get two votes; free hip replacements if you volunteer for the campaign.

Canada’s demographics, he warned, pose “a threat to the social programs and services that Canadians cherish.” Preserving those social programs will likely mean cuts elsewhere.

In other words? Students, artists, small businesses, and single moms – y’all are fucked. Because to retrofit energy-inefficient buildings and invest in public transit is just crazy young-people talk.

Housing bubble is really a balloon: BMO’s Sherry Cooper . And we all know balloons don’t pop. They just sail off into the atmosphere until you can’t see them anymore.

And introducing micro-populism: Mayor takes issue with parking meter bylaw. If we’re getting that specific, can we make it illegal to walk under awnings with an open umbrella?

Why The Waldorf Hotel is the hippest place in town. And with that, The Waldorf Hotel is no longer the hippest place in town.

The Behind-the-Scenes Campaign To Bring SOPA To Canada. And why it will more easily pass into law than in The States.

If we’re going to mimic our neighbour to the south, can we at least follow their lead on this?

Confession: Landmark is a Cult.

Bonus: Bear 71.

SCOUT LIST: The 10 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours… Read more

TEA & TWO SLICES: On Police Priorities, The East Van Rent Hike And Holy Saint Leonardo

by Sean Orr | Vancouver cops send innocent man to the hospital. Because most bank robbers stop to take out the trash in the middle of a police chase. Morons.

Take a bite out of crime: Police dog attack sparks Vancouver lawsuit. Meanwhile, organized crime controls the ports, where drugs and weapons flow in and out, and targeted hits in fancy restaurants continue without let up. But a skateboarder breaks a window? Yeah, fuck that guy up!

I won’t tase you bro: Transit cop says using Taser against drunk man ‘sickened him’. “I don’t think they are quite as safe and useful as I once believed.” That is exactly how I feel about cops, transit or otherwise.

Will young homebuyers say goodbye to Vancouver for good? Disguised in this is a weird truism: what Rennie and Co. were selling this whole time was a lifestyle. Lured in by granite countertops and chrome fixtures, all these couples bought condos downtown. But now, all of a sudden, they have a family, and nobody wants to live next to one of those (they smell like farts and influenza).

Lapdog Land: Editorial: Vancouver’s ‘unattended’ dog bylaw should be scrapped. Wherein we have abandoned the idea of raising families (having replaced them with pets).

Location is everything: 45% rent hike ‘unbelievable,’ East Van tenants say. So, no matter how shitty the building, if you live in a ‘nice’ area where other buildings are charging way more, you get dinged by proxy. Does that mean if you live in an area where rents were low, but your building was super nice and the rents were high, you could get them to match the market geography? Nope.

I guess we’re all just going to have to start stealing more bikes: New VPD property office: home to hundreds of stolen bicycles. A rotating rack of 400 bikes? That sounds like it could also be in the MOV.

Nevergreen Line: $1.4B Evergreen Line to open by 2016. Coincidentally, that is also the year Hell will start hosting hockey games.

Last resort: DiCaprio thanked for putting dead ski resort on road to rebirth. Is there anything he can’t do?

MORNING PROCRASTINATIONS: On Graceful Robots And Scoring Sad Sex From Your iPad

by the Editors | Around the Scout office this morning, we were scared shitless by the fact that a Coronal Mass Ejection will arrive to Earth from the Sun at 1,400 miles per second today, but we were distracted when we found out that Matthew McConaughey had reprised his iconic role as “Wooderson” from Dazed and Confused in a music video. We were convinced by this illustration on the Islam vs. Christianity debate, and we laughed through some alternate scenes from Return of the Jedi. We were proud of the #Occupy activists in Davos, Switzerland (who doesn’t love igloos?) and we got bummed about the present and future of American political finance reform (wherein corporations, special interest groups, and Las Vegas billionaires decide who will win or lose primaries and elections). Our spirits were momentarily resurrected by Steve Dogs, but then they were dashed by the prospect of a Canadian SOPA. We were amazed at the news that YouTube traffic had risen 25% in the past 8 months (to a now steady 8 billion hits per day) and we were made desirous of this kickass, all-weather notebook. We dreamt about replicating New York’s High Line park on either of Vancouver’s parallel viaducts (Georgia, preferred) and we liked the look of Abraham Lincoln in colour. We were totally gobsmacked by – and joined in the standing ovation for – this robot that flies with the grace of a seagull, and we dug the 2012 Fall/Winter lookbook from Woolrich John Rich & Bros. Last, we were momentarily stunned to discover that people were literally fucking their iPads, and we agreed that American were pretty well screwed when it came to their everyday graphic design consumption. Only then did we get to work. Happy Tuesday, Scout readers. Make it count.

SCOUT LIST: The 10 Things That You Should Absolutely Do Between Now And Next Week

by Michelle Sproule | The main objective of this website is to scout out and promote the things that make Vancouver such a sweet place to be. We do this with an emphasis on the city’s independent spirit to foster a sense of connectedness within and between our communities, and to introduce our readers to the people who grow and cook our food, play the raddest tunes in our better venues, create our most interesting art, and design everything from what we wear to the spaces we inhabit. The Scout List is our carefully considered, first rate agenda of super awesome things that we’re either doing, wishing that we could do, or conspiring to do this week. From our calendar to yours… Read more

MORNING PROCRASTINATIONS: On Original Tweets And Meg Ryan Re-Living Her Orgasm

by the Editors | Around the Scout office this morning, we read about 10 actors despising their own films and watched this awesome trailer for The City Dark. We laughed our asses off at the continuing dissolution of the Republican Party a la Newt Romney and wondered about the evangelical obsession with sex. We thought about getting in line for this all-in-one breakfast station and remembered how Twitter worked in highschool back in the early 1990′s. We watched this food porn three times and thought a lot about taking a road trip to Yosemite. We worried that our country was becoming a jingoistic petro-state led by right wing asshats and mocked the hell out of space wine. We stared at photos taken of puddle reflections and watched a Filipino traffic cop bust some seriously sweet-ass moves. We learned a little about the women of Francis Bacon and applauded the affection behind this Vespa workstation. Last, we dug this mohawk made out of weed and felt a little like pandas. Only then did we get to work.

Happy Monday.

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