“Clash Of The Titans” Advance Screening Tickets Up For Grabs

SCOUT is sponsoring Vancouver’s March 31st exclusive advance screening of Louis Letterier’s remake of the 1981 cult classic, Clash of the Titans. The new version, an effects-driven tale, stars Sam Worthington (Avatar), Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient), Liam Neeson (Schindler’s List), and Pete Postlethwaite (The Usual Suspects). It tells of the mortal son of Zeus defending Greece and the Heavens after Hades rises to wrest control over both. As you can see from the clips above, it looks pretty intense. Not exactly The World According To Garp, but we all make exceptions for art, and that Kraken at the end of the trailer is gnarly. If you join us with a double pass of your own (you and a date), invent your own mythical creature in the comments. Be as descriptive as you like. The best ones win tickets, starting now.

PS. Consulting your Monster Manual for aid in this contest will result in the confiscation of your 20-sided dice.

World Water Day Observed With “Blue Gold” At Rhizome Cafe

You can count on East Broadway’s Rhizome Cafe to always come up with some pretty solid community-oriented events. This week they’re screening the documentary Blue Gold (by the same producers as “The Corporation.”) which will be followed by a discussion on local efforts to conserve and protect water. It’s all going down in anticipatory recognition of World Water Day on March 22.

In honour of World Water Day, we’ll reflect on organizing successes internationally and locally. What can we do nationally and provincially to protect our commons? We’ll screen the film “Blue Gold”. Information on other WWD events will be available. Proceeds will go to Partners in Health for water support in Haiti.

Find the Wiki on WWD here. | March 18 | 7 pm | Rhizome Cafe | Sliding scale $5 – 10

Target Marketing Attack By Heineken Leaves Fans Grateful

This is pure genius.

Let’s Hear It For The Hallmark Target Market That Waits In Line

St. Patrick’s Day is arguably the weirdest commercially non-denominational faux “holiday” going in North America today, right next to Halloween, Easter, and Christmas. It’s evolved, I think, into the baldest excuse to get drunk since becoming an alcoholic or digging the Toronto Maple Leafs. Instead of “let’s drop some LSD in the graveyard before begging for candy!” or “Christ is dead, let’s paint some eggs and scarf chocolate!” or “Jesus has been born to a mother who never had sex so here’s some lego and thanks for the stuffing” it’s something entirely even less sensical. It’s “let’s be inebriated enough by 6pm so we can beats the sunset with a Gastown soak of puke and urine!” Right on, bubba. Whatever turns your crank, religious freedom and all that. Nevermind that the 5th century saint wasn’t Irish (he was an Eton grad cricketer who dug The Who and flew Spits in the War) but was a right bloke who could neither empathize with wankers dressed in neon green Dr. Seuss hats nor even imagine post-pubescent ex-private school tarts dusting off their pleated skirts and pairing them with torn stockings a la Doc Martens. The fellow was about as Irish as most of the people in line, which means just about none at all. So cheers. Good luck functioning this morning, and be happy it was for a good cause…or something.

The Very Best Music Video In The World, Ever (Not Safe For Work)

This is Reggie Watts promoting his upcoming Comedy Central gig and the upcoming release of his new DVD, Why Sh#t So Crazy. The track is called “F@ck Sh#t Stack”. WARNING: this is definitely NSFW or even remotely intended for people running a deficit of humour. If we get a single letter of complaint over it, it’ll go straight to the shredder with the pieces subsequently burned. Enjoy, warned though you be (found via TheDailyWhat).

Heads Up: “I Want To Be Alone (With You)” At The Art Gallery…

From VAG: “FUSE goes lo-fi with a series of performances and environments designed to let you chill out, get down and take it easy. Get to know your neighbour by sending postcards to a stranger, enjoy free gifts by Natalie Purschwitz, performances by Carol Sawyer, Hello, Blue Roses and more. For more information on the series, visit the FUSE page.” This seriously sounds like one of the better FUSE evenings that the VAG has put on yet – or maybe we’re just all about chilling out these days after our move. Also keep in mind that this will be one of your last chances to catch Leonardo da Vinci: The Mechanics of Man. We hear the guy was pretty good.

March 19 | 6pm – midnight | VAG | $19.50

Canucks Deserve A Mascot That Could Destroy “Fin The Whale”

If I ever scream at a Cancuks game it’s usually at the team’s official mascot, Fin the Whale. He sucks as bad as irresponsibly farmed salmon. For serious, we provide for 294 consecutive sellout games and all we get as a sideshow is a dude in a whale suit democratically tossing t-shirts to the cheap seats and the grow-op bigwigs. WTF? He might bang the drum with the enthusiasm that comes courtesy of $25 an hour, but does he ever freely thump the living shit out of those apathetic corporate “fans” who slip out of the game early in overtime to beat the post-game exodus of the Great Unwashed? I think not. So let me say this (if I haven’t said it here or elsewhere already)…if the Bruins mascot (above) ever tires of his gig, he’s more than welcome at GM Place, and he wouldn’t want for friends.

Watch more of the golden dude’s unvarnished antics here.

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