Tea & Two Slices is a long-running news round-up by NEEDS frontman and veteran restaurant dishwasher Sean Orr, who lives and works in Gastown.

Via The Tyee: Jean Swanson’s Radical Plan to Transform Vancouver. Remember kids, radical just means “going to the root of”:

Yet some people in Vancouver’s business community worry that it’s a battle Swanson has a shot at winning. “She’s a devout, dated radical who wants to redistribute wealth, so if you’ve got any wealth in Vancouver you have to be fearful with her on council,” Neil McIver, portfolio manager and owner of McIver Capital Management at Canaccord Genuity and chief strategist for Wai Young’s Coalition Vancouver party in the 2018 municipal election. “The concept of Vancouver being a business-friendly city is out the window.”

Hm, I wonder what Vancouver’s richest man thinks? Wait! Now you can ask him directly! Ask Chip Anything. Oh man, I’m having way too much fun with this. “Remember when you supported Ken Sim for mayor?” “When the revolution happens, where will you hide?” “Would you rather eat chocolate pudding that tastes like shit, or eat shit that tastes like chocolate pudding?”

Alternatively, how does it feel to channel Donald Trump’s scorn towards the media? Lululemon founder Chip Wilson inducted into ‘Business Laureates of BC Hall of Fame’. Dude says fatties shouldn’t wear yoga pants, but yeah, it’s “people with lives that aren’t working for them trying to bring other people down in order to make themselves feel good.”

Actually, that does have a nice ring to it. Let’s call it wealth redistribution. We are coming to take it for ourselves, just like this otter: This river otter has been dining on koi at Vancouver’s Chinese Garden pond. Welcome to the resistance, little guy.

Related: Left-Wing Protests Are Crossing the Line. Nah, you just drew the line in the wrong place.

Protesters want judge fired after ‘disgraceful’ sentence given to sexual assault perpetrator. Link to petition in article.

Um… Cyclist throws own feces at car in Victoria. Best quote: “I just feel it’s a real downward spiral right now…of everything.”

Is Daily Hive now cashing Uber cheques? Share your Vancouver taxi horror stories with us.

Burn of the day:

Bonus: Photos of People Trying To Sell Mirrors Is One Of The Greatest Things Ever.