Always Fresh: Arrest made after irate woman flings feces at staff of Langley Tim Hortons. While I’m sure official explanation is that they denied her use of the washroom, I secretly hope it’s because she only got 11 Honey Dip Timbits in her dozen.

Another one: A 14th human foot — this one in a hiking boot — washes ashore in Canada.

Shame: London, Ont., physician Tarek Loubani shot in leg near Gaza border. Just one problem, CBC…there is no border. While it might seem like a minor semantic slip-up, it’s a major ahistorical trope consistently perpetuated by the media. Armistice line? Security fence keeping the largest open air prison in the world in a state of apartheid, unable to return to their homes? Much better.

Such revisionism is what leads to the media referring to the murder of 58 civilians as “clashes”. Or even that the protests are about the US embassy being moved to East Jerusalem instead of it being the 70th anniversary of the Nakba, or Palestinian exodus.

And it leads to our Minister of Foreign Affairs to get away with her own blatant Charlottesville “both sides” moment:

Of course, this would be surprising if we weren’t, in fact, living in a very similar parallel. We live on unceded Coast Salish territories. As occupiers, it makes sense that we support other occupiers.

Good for the NDP for finally taking a stance on this. PS don’t read the comments:

Outraged to learn that Canadian doctor and humanitarian, Tarek Loubani, was shot in Gaza yesterday by IDF soldiers, while providing medical assistance. Glad he is recovering but how can @JustinTrudeau remain silent on such indiscriminate violence?

— Jagmeet Singh (@theJagmeetSingh) May 15, 2018

Oh, and speaking of settler-colonialism: Ottawa to cover Trans Mountain losses due to B.C. obstruction. The perversity of the neo-liberal project laid bare. Socialism for corporations but not for the people. It’s our “too big to fail” moment.

If that’s not bad enough, they can’t even spell our province correctly. Maybe it’s time to rename it?

Shocking. The National Energy Board can't spell "British Columbia". #bcpoli #stopKM pic.twitter.com/WjM8mQWTJo

— Kai Nagata ?? (@kainagata) May 15, 2018

Satire of the day: Vancouver Parking Meters Now Accepting Tips.

Meme of the day:

The above image references last week’s viral racist tirade of British Columbia’s Kelly Pocha who has since been fired from her job. Cue the outrage from mouth breathers who don’t understand what free speech is. Perhaps the most disturbing part of the video is that the police don’t consider her words hate speech and that the men themselves were kicked out of the Denny’s. It’s a chilling parallel to the recent bout of incidences in America of white people calling the police on “suspicious” black people who aren’t doing anything wrong.

Speaking of people getting fired: Momager for Instabrat ‘Lil Tay’ fired from Vancouver real estate firm. There’s something gross about this. This little girl is clearly being coached. And while public figures should and will be held accountable it still seems tragic, not to mention a useful punching bag of distrust towards Vancouver’s fuerdai.

Tweet of the day:

People announcing a run for Mayor of Vancouver this week

Monday: Squamish councillor Ian Campbell
Tuesday: Trevor Linden, but he’ll only talk about why Jim Benning is a good GM
Wednesday: A different guy named Kennedy Stewart
Thursday: Baklava Man
Friday: Canuck the Crow

— Justin McElroy (@j_mcelroy) May 13, 2018

Bonus: Musqueam rapper Christie Charles named Vancouver’s poet laureate.

There will be no Tea and Two Slices Radio next week because I’m turning 40.