On Schooling Chip Wilson and Downloading the Death Rattles of Late Capitalism

Rainy night windshield on Pender Street | photo: Scout Magazine

There’s still time to vote for 2017’s Scumbag of the Year. It looks like Galen Weston of Loblaws is really running away with it.

Speaking of which, registration for your $25 gift card (that you are going to give to the food bank) is now open.

Too bad the ballot was put together well before this bombshell: Tim Hortons heirs cut paid breaks and worker benefits after minimum wage hike, employees say.

People are rallying behind a “No Timmy’s Tuesday” as a rolling boycott, but for me it’s more like “No Timmy’s Two Decades”.

“Fuck Tim Hortons. Fuck companies that cultivate a cutesy, down-home just-folks working class aesthetic, then take a dump on actual working people” – Charles Demers.

Meanwhile, Cineplex Could Raise Prices And Lay Off Employees In Response To Minimum Wage Hike. “CEO Ellis Jacob is looking for solutions to offset the new minimum wage”. Hey, maybe you could cram in another half hour of previews! Cineplex earned over $75 million in profits last year, so maybe Ellis Jacob could take a pay cut.

Ontario restaurant owner says wage hike means he’ll earn less than employees. “Wait we know the answer to this one. What is it bosses always tell workers when they ask for more? “If you don’t like it find another job” – Rank and File.

I love this threat about raising prices like they just learned that’s how a business fucking works. “I don’t raise my prices when the product price goes up.” Really? Then either you just suck at running a restaurant or you’re lying because I’m pretty sure if the cost of, oh let’s say limes went up, you’d make some adjustments.

Minimum wage hikes could cost Canada’s economy 60,000 jobs by 2019. What? No. That’s not even what the article says!

You could be forgiven for not knowing that the cited Bank of Canada research note had a positive conclusion about the effect of minimum wage increases on workers. A major claim of the Bank’s note is that, for workers, the benefits of increasing the minimum wage outweigh the costs in terms of labour income. First of all, the Bank is not predicting 60,000 pink slips but merely a slowdown in continued job growth. The 60,000 figure is a national, annual one and represents just 0.3 per cent of total employment. Monthly job growth has at times exceeded this number. – Michael Rozworski in They Tyee.

But what’s most interesting in these examples is that they’re tacit admissions that these CEOs just don’t value labour, and that this is why unironically and unapologetically seizing the means of production is starting to sound a lot more attractive to a lot of people.

If you were to tell me I would be advocating for communism 10 years ago I would have laughed or had some pithy comeback. But as I’ve said over the course of the last few years I’m a lot less funny and a lot more serious about finding an alternative to capitalism. And I’m not alone. “Fifty-one percent of Americans between the ages of 18 and 29 no longer support the system of capitalism”. That’s insane.

In case you missed it, here are some other noteworthy scumbags: Wealthy Bristol residents cause uproar by installing ‘anti-bird spikes’ to stop droppings hitting expensive cars.

This Randian cult-leader billionaire who gets his name on a school even though if we just taxed him properly we could build new post-secondary institutions and make them affordable: Design school named for Chip Wilson opens in Richmond, B.C.. Unfortunately, the school’s structure is wearing thin because some people’s bodies just aren’t made for design school.

This Senator: Sen. Lynn Beyak kicked out of Conservative caucus after refusing to remove ‘racist’ comments online. Oh good, now she can promote her hatred “on her own time, on her own dime.”

Another runner up for scumbag of the year, from the people who invented room mates, vending machines and a bus: Why the Raw Water Movement Is So Obnoxious. “It doesn’t just reveal Silicon Valley’s idiocy and love of capitalism. It exposes their disinterest in everyone else.” Remember this horse shit each time Gregor says he wants to make Vancouver a tech hub.

Opinion: Vancouver in 2018: 10 New Year’s resolutions for reclaiming our city. Yes. These are all really good ideas.

Add to the list “continue to resist racism”: Hero who thwarted racist Canada Line attack receives ‘best Christmas gift ever’.

There are 9 comments

  1. I don’t understand the manufactured Tim Hortons outrage, I mean like, its a few franchise owners that are implementing the changes not the entire corporation as a whole. CBC even states clearly in the article that it is a single franchise. This boycott is just another pointless millennial call to action which will result in no real change as usual.

  2. If you click your own link, you’ll see that Chip Wilson donated $8million to build that school. They’re not just “slapping his name on it”.

  3. “Fuck Justin Trudeau. Fuck politicians that cultivate a cutesy, down-home just-folks working class aesthetic, then take a dump on actual working people” – Me

  4. 51% between ages 18-29 no longer support the system of capitalism? If that were true, there would be an economic collapse that would eclipse any war or catastrophe combined. 99.99% of those young people are the major source of consumption of all sorts of capitalist products & services, and you just try to take that away from them.

  5. Erin that is the weakest argument ever. There are many hilarious memes lambasting that subject “oh you’re against capitalism, tell me friend do you own things”? Nobody who is dominated by a system are allowed to change it??

  6. Debbie the point is that he is slapping money down to generate a legacy when if he was just taxed properly he wouldn’t find the need. It’s pure egoism as is with almost all charity. It’s a farce that doesn’t actually change anything and just further entrenches the economic divide.

  7. Orr, it’s not an argument; it’s a reality. One cannot be dominated by a system in which they have immense freedom of purchasing power. That demographic is not changing our system, they are emboldening it. Venezuela needs change.

    And adding ‘ever’ to the end of sentences is a different age group; 13-17.

  8. Ha yeah maybe, but I come across this argument on the daily. Also take a drink anytime Venezuela is mentioned as a retort to socialism.

On More Feet Washing Ashore and Flinging All the Feces at Tim Hortons

Sean Orr's latest read of the local headlines finds parking meters accepting tips (satire) and more outrage from mouth breathers.

On Pillars of Altruism, the Price of Unity and Crashing the Housing Market

In his latest read of the local headlines, Sean listens to more whining from the over-privileged and gives credit to clergy for courage.

On Amazonian Pee Breaks and the Comedy of Rich Blowhards Decrying Class Warfare

In his latest read of the news headlines, Sean Orr finds out about abused feral peacocks (and also about some colourful birds in Surrey).

On the Terrors of Toxic Masculinity and Cops Not Pulling Triggers

The latest read of the headlines has Sean wondering about the minimum wage hike and how cauldrons brew in echo chambers.