TEA & TWO SLICES | On Electoral Aftermath, Renegade Yoga And Keeping Cocaine Receipts

May 25, 2017.

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by Sean Orr | Well it’s finally over. I think. The NDP won Courteny Comox by just 189 votes and barring any recount in Burke Mountain we are in the same position as election night. We have a hung parliament.

The final popular vote difference was 1,566. To put that in perspective, some of us have more Facebook friends than that.

So now the real politicking begins. And if you’ve been following #bcpoli for as long as I have, your deep disillusionment will be in overdrive. “Put simply, what happens next will be determined by a (potentially messy) combination of constitutional procedures, conventions, and political negotiations“.

Bob Rae reminds us that political leverage is fleeting:

The advantage of the “day-to-day” is that pressure can be brought on a daily basis. The disadvantage is that the pressure is constant and goes both ways. One of the reasons I argued for a longer-term approach was precisely to avoid the day-to-day game of Russian roulette, which earlier participants told me was very wearing on caucus unity and morale.

But with 59% of British Columbians voting for change, Clark is on her heels. Despite the media’s wishful thinking:

Here’s hoping for a bloody internal struggle that rips the BC Liberals back into two separate parties:

Related:

So despite the majority of population voting against pipelines, that bastion of democracy – our Prime Minister – says they are wrong. Again, doing wonders to stoke that Western Alienation.

But what else do you expect from a “a scrub with fuccboi tattoos”.

Amidst the clusterfuck of the Trump administration and Canada 150 propaganda, Canadians have been marinating in what journalist Jesse Brown calls our “Canadian humble superiority” – the widespread belief that Canadians are kinder, cleaner, and more rational than our billionaire machine-gun-toting neighbours to the South. Every Canadian’s wet dream “would be if you considered us just like you, but a little bit better,” he writes. But Brown thinks it’s time to shake Canadians out of that smugness.

Related: Celebrating 150 years of being nice. Barf.

This moose isn’t having any of it: Moose destroys Canada 150 Celebration Tulip Garden. The best political metaphor since yesterday when a sinkhole opened up in front of Mar-A-Lago.

The great brown hope? Rising star Jagmeet Singh could be Justin Trudeau’s worst nightmare.

“One of the defining tensions of Trudeau’s appeal has been the awkward fact that a man who presents himself as a champion of Canada’s postmodern future is such an archaic stereotype of traditional privilege. As the wealthy son of Canada’s wealthiest prime minister who worked only lightly prior to politics, Trudeau often makes clear that empathy is a learned skill for him.”

Also, being able to answer really, really, simple questions:

Please. All media. Just keep asking him this question. “How many times has he met with the Ethics Commissioner?”

And stop referring to his carefully set up photo-ops as “photobombs”: No, Trudeau didn’t photobomb those prom kids.

But he did do this:

Probably because the boomers that elected him are the actual problem: Amidst housing crunch, Vancouver has 800,000 empty bedrooms. Again, this is why they’ve lost their moral authority to judge Millennials.

Avocado toast be damned: Sky-high condo prices aren’t a supply problem.

The truth is the problem of high costs, and access to reasonably priced accommodation in our two major cities is not being addressed. That is a simple fact. People will say that the condo towers I highlighted are in downtown Vancouver, so what do you expect? Well, the fact is those prices set a standard for the region. They are driving up the cost of housing miles away.

But at least we can revel in our snarky Craigslist posts: $1500 / 110ft2 – Trendy Micro-suite $1500 (East Van)

So, while a majority government was snatched away from Christy Clark like a sea lion snatches a child,
Tourists line up to offer their children in sacrifice. /satire

Exhibit B: Photo of ‘naive’ hikers worries North Shore Rescue. The metaphors just keep coming. “Vancouver home buyers unaware they are standing on snow cornice”.

Canadian police in action: Hamilton journalists arrested — while covering a car crash

Schadenfreude of the day? Pemberton Music Festival: Millions owed all over town. Those poor coke dealers probably didn’t keep their receipts.

Related: Rogan on Canada, Cocaine, and Prostitutes. “Why do they call it Cactus Club? A lot of pricks?”

Related related: The Life and Death of Vancouver’s Hollywood-Powered “Slutton” Party Scene: “This Place Really Misses the Hookers”,

No fun city of the day: Park board shuts down free yoga classes at Dude Chilling Park. That’s enough to make me Child’s Pose for an hour. Alternate pun: They should just namaste where they are.

Bonus: Granville Island redevelopment vision includes bridge elevator, pedestrian span over Alder Bay.

#ScoutThis

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