TEA & TWO SLICES | On Trips To Portland And Who Asked For Another Browns Social House?

April 12, 2017.

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by Sean Orr | From dove to hawk in 60 seconds: Justin Trudeau: Canada Fully Supports U.S.’s ‘Focused Action’ In Syria. Are his poll numbers in a tailspin? Wait, where have I heard that before?

For Trudeau to ally (in spirit) with Trump in an illegal, unilateral strike that reeks of hypocrisy on the eve of the 100th anniversary of Vimy Ridge is a blatant doubling down on the founding myths of Canada that seek to legitimize imperialist war and injustice. What happened to not “trying to whip out our CF-18s and show how big they are”? 

Laying things plain:

The requisite protest: Hands off Syria.

And they’re off: B.C. Election 2017: The campaign has officially begun. This is one spin class you won’t be feeling better after.

Case in point, Keith Baldrey does his best BC Liberal press secretary impression: What’s in BC Liberals’ election platform? How is this not an ad? “The BC Liberals are clearly hoping ‘steady as she goes’ will resonate more with voters than their opponents more lavish spending promises”. For good measure the BC Liberals are going to mention Fast Ferries every five seconds. A la Lois Griffin:

Little Mountain advocates hold ‘Rich Coleman Vacant Lot’ ceremony 10 years after land-sale announcement. Awesome stunt but the least you could do is spell the premier’s name right you guys. (And you didn’t even spell it K-r-u-s-t-y!)

Cuts to bridge tolls promised as B.C. Liberals, NDP gear up for election. What looks like a battle for populist votes is a condemnation the entire mismanagement of the P3 model of public infrastructure. That Surrey bears the brunt of the costs smells faintly of classism and opens up the possibility of road pricing — something the NDP were forced to back down from decades ago after, you guessed it, populist outrage.

Of course, a cap on transit fares would be nice, too. I mean, $248 a month? I’ve been so out of touch in my Ivory Tower I forgot how expensive it is to be a prole: Can Young People Actually Afford a Fun Life in Vancouver? An Investigation.

It turns out that pretending you don’t spend $60 on weed every month helps precisely no one, so Salcito recommends drawing up a budget that includes line items for all your vices, your Portland getaways, that unfortunate but probable trip to Burning Man.

This is too real. I was literally just planning a trip to Portland.

The only election issue that should matter: Metro Vancouver homeless numbers jump 30% since 2014. Just remember, the BC Liberal campaign slogan is “a Strong B.C. and a Bright Future”.

Related: It’s basically just immoral to be rich.

Speaking of rich people. Did you know Vancouver has a special piece of the Agricultural Land Reserve for the wealthy to pretend like they are rural? It’s called Southlands and it’s a magical place: Vancouver farmer told by city she can’t raise chickens on farmland.

The farmer and her partner decided to lease the land in an effort to preserve it and be part of the local food movement at a time when the city has pledged to become a “global leader in urban food systems.”

Oops. What we meant by that was a few containers in a parking lot that is being heavily speculated on until we develop it.

Speaking of development (and reading and weeping), The Media Club is set to become another Browns Social House. Good grief.

Beaverton of the day: Jian Ghomeshi announces new podcast that will download to players without your consent.

Scan of the day:

Yelp of the day: The ice field was too cold: Negative online reviews of Canada’s national parks.

My child did the booklet for a badge. The staff asked my child do every page. One of the pages need to find out 6 numbers in the whole town. Just for fun, why so serious. In national park , we should find wild animals not for finding numbers. This is not homework. Before we leaving, we suffer this poor experience. My child is sad.

Bonus: Archeologists confirm Heiltsuk village site three times older than Great Pyramids.

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