by Sean Orr | It can’t happen here, right? Banks’ exposure to loans backed by residential real estate more than $1 trillion. Hey remember, like, a month ago when everyone was freaking out about foreign investors and I kept saying what about the conditions we set up to enable this crisis? Yeah, well…

I give credit to the finely tuned algorithm I’ve constructed on Facebook. It gives me access to people like John Haggerty. After reminding us that Canada’s banks were secretly bailed out in 2008, he writes:

By the way, we’d all be wise not to believe anybody’s predictions at the moment. Certainly not the “it will rebound quickly!” folks who are quoted in the article, but not the doom and gloomers either. The truth is that nobody knows where we’re going from here. It’s an unprecedented situation. The only thing we know is that everything will be done to insulate the banks from consequences. It will be ordinary people, and the economy at large, who suffer. And then we’ll all enjoy more feel-good stories about how resilient Canada’s banking system is. And then I will puke. A lot. Again. If this following paragraph isn’t enough to give you chills about the Canadian banking system’s out of control power, I don’t know what is:

“A Canadian lender can foreclose on a property, sell it to recover as much as possible, and then pursue the borrower further for any losses even to the extent of garnishing future wages. This is pretty unique to Canada. In most other countries, and notably in the U.S., if a bank forecloses, it de-facto gives up the right to pursue further damages from the borrower. Because of this, Canadian banks are likely to collect a lot more from the borrowers and thus limit their losses even in the case of large defaults.”

Let that sink in for a second. Now peep this horrifying photo from David Wolfe Carroll…

Or maybe not: Is Canada Really Sitting on a Real Estate Bubble That’s About to Burst?. I don’t believe in anything no more. I’m going to law school.

But we all know the real source of our economic woes: Top economist says Canadians have too many hobbies. “People need to pick ONE hobby and stick with it,” says Denny, “Partaking in a second hobby is a waste of time. It’s time that could be spent being productive.” Ha! I learned that from GI Joe: pick one arcade game that you can play well as opposed to playing a whole bunch of them where you just don’t know what the hell you’re doing.

Cue the inevitable rage from people who still don’t know that the CBCs This is That show is satire.

Precarity and the never ending now: Workers tough to find in pricey Vancouver rental market. ‘I’m more likely to find a unicorn than a good sous-chef,’ says restaurant owner. Shots fired!

Clearly it’s time to get out of the restaurant business and into the business of carefully curated media manipulation! Mike Smyth: Premier Clark has spent nearly $1 million on photography. Normally, this would be the part where I list all the things that Premier Clark is not spending money on…

Mother of man killed in donation bin remembers ‘quirky, silly and kindhearted’ son. So…wait a second, this has happened four fucking times? This is one of those things that you look at and imagine aliens watching us and being, like: “nope, still not ready”.

I was never notified: Accessibility a.k.a the Public Part of Public Space: My Letter to Vancouver Mayor and Council. “It comes down to how you imagine public space, which in turn comes down to who you include in the word public.”

That’s a bingo! Nimby Bingo, that is.

Why Are Canadians Being Banned from the US for Admitting They’ve Smoked Weed? Yeah! And another thing, how are they allowed to ask if you’ve been arrested before? I’ve been arrested, like, four times. I don’t have a criminal record, but they never ask me that. What the hell is wrong with these people?

I’ll let Gene Wilder (RIP) answer that headline…

And speaking of morons: Wanting Justin Trudeau Dead.

Related, albeit somewhat elitist: How racist white people are pissing away what little political power the working class has left.

It’s our fault: “If I only had a brain,” One Crisis of Many in the Canadian Left:

As others have discussed, this unwarranted assumption of intellectual superiority and complete information alienates working class voters and others not culturally steeped in the coded language and mores of liberal academia.

Leads to self-radicalization? Vancouver police discover explosives in Mount Pleasant storage facility This place was a jam space for many Vancouver bands. The owner is remembered as “the nut job with the dog who would bust everybody’s balls about everything” and “a super-frazzled, crazy Ed Harris”.

Most Canadian heist? Goalie swipes cases of brew from beer store. Was the getaway car a zamboni?

Feel good story of the day: Hungover customer brings heaps of business to struggling Alberta fish and chip shop. Never, ever, under-estimate the power of a good hangover.

Bonus: Why no food, not even kale, is ‘healthy’. ‘We are against the power of words. Against power’.