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On Whining Politicians, Thieving Crows, And Animating Gentrification

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by Sean Orr | Christy Clark cabinet issues order-in-council to get around court ruling on environmental assessments. Now where on earth would BCers get the idea that we are ruled by an oligarchy? Fucking hippies, amirite?

Rich Coleman agrees: People just need to get up and whine every day: housing minister on criticism. Whines the man who gets his salary paid by whiners.

Even the BBC are getting into the act. Whine, whine, whine: Vancouver’s ‘freak show’ property market.

Vancouver has hundreds of addresses linked to Panama Papers. Still waiting for a Douglas Coupland post-modern mini-series that follows loveable slacker and struggling actor Gil O’Brien who becomes trapped in the role of a Bad Real Estate Agent and is forced to answer questions like “how’s the water pressure” from a man in a trilby for the rest of eternity only to realize that the whole thing is just a money laundering scheme.

Sorry, I’ve been obsessed with the Twitter account Shit Pitches.

Greenest City: Rise of Condos Means Razed Trees, Bird Evictions. If only the birds would write saccharine “Dear Vancouver” letters saying why it is that they’re leaving the city. Then maybe someone would take action.

90% of Metro Vancouver residents want major transit improvements right now: survey. We don’t want to vote for a tax increase to pay for transit; we just want it to happen magically.

Related: Transit Fare Review. No option to create a free downtown transit zone? Boo.

Don’t fence me in: City councillor wants to put a halt to Burrard Bridge suicide barriers. “It would also remain as an ongoing reminder to the people of Vancouver that our current civic government does not consider the maintenance of major heritage assets in a serious manner or engage with our citizens in a transparent and meaningful way.” And yet, “The Empire State Building, the Duomo, St. Peter’s Basilica, and Sydney Harbour Bridge were all suicide magnets before barriers were erected on them.”

The coming age of Big Weed: Bill Blair blasts unlicensed pot shops as ‘reckless’. Nobody could have possibly seen this coming.

Attempted Murder: Police shoot man in McDonald’s parking lot.

More than 20 officers were at the scene, including one who was forced to chase down a crow that picked up a knife with its claws and flew a short distance before dropping back in the parking lot. The crow, which had a red band attached to its left leg, also tried to make off with a pair of eyeglasses in the lot and steal gear belonging to a television camera operator. Locals identified him as “Canuck,” a crow that has become an online sensation.

Alternate headline: Crow steals knife, diverts attention away from another failed attempt by the VPD to de-escalate.

Kelowna woman warns others after terrifying ordeal at U.S. border. Brutal.

Bonus: Adrian Teacher & The Subs hit fast forward on gentrification.

On Ken Sim’s So-Called “Swagger” and ABC’S Class War

Sean Orr is back from his hiatus with a rundown of the local headlines that have been running on a ticker tape through his mind over the past six months...

On Post-Election Recuperation, Platform Paradoxes and Refund Communities

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr finds irony in "safety, affordability, and sustainability", and shouts out a bunch of amazing local organizations working on the frontlines.

On Running for City Council, Playing Whack-a-Mole with Homelessness, and the Public Washroom Deficit

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr finds a park ranger with a grudge, a gross misuse of air quotes and Tripadvisor slander.

On Living in a City Preoccupied with Street Cleaning, Chandeliers, and Campaigns Against the Homeless

In his latest read of the local news headlines, Sean Orr hones in on the recent Langley shootings, and the ongoing criminalizing and dehumanizing of the homeless population.