On 612 Hipsters And The Grinch Who Stole Christmas To Score Heroin

image4

by Sean OrrHarper sings Sweet Child O’ Mine. Ironic that this song first appeared on the soundtrack to Bad Dreams (because watching this gave me some). This screenshot makes things better. Oh, and it looks like they got a new drummer.

Speaking of bad dreams: Promises vs. ‘political speeches:’ Tories’ honesty questioned on support for injured veterans. Important stuff, but does this have to be your opening line? “It was a cross-country battle for injured military veterans on Wednesday” (emphasis mine). If only there was an editorial cartoon that summed everything up instead.

In response to the Yaletown petition to remove homeless shelters: Remove the Selfish Yuppies from the City of Vancouver.

The Province (completely missing the point to the surprise of nobody) writes: “…as of Wednesday afternoon, 612 people had signed the petition. It was unknown how many of the signatories were Hipsters…”

But perhaps more damning than a tongue-in-cheek counter-petition are some cold, hard, stats: Vancouver police crime stats contradict Yaletown homeless shelter foes. Go figure.

A totally different police stat:

The rent is too damn high not damn high enough: Housing minister warns of possible hikes under rent-control system. Whoa, whoa, whoa – wait a second now! There are rent controls?

I warned you, didn’t I? But you didn’t list to me…Minister warned about booze prices. Suzanne Anton: proving Hanlon’s Razor wrong like it ain’t no thang.

Why did Green trustee back NPA for VSB chair?. Well, let’s ask her: Regarding my decision in the School Board Chair Election. Although, as Nicole Joliet quips, “if you don’t want to look like you support Chevron, don’t vote for a dude whose party explicitly supported Chevron…”

Snakes on a plain bagel: Men Throw Snake At Tim Hortons Worker Over Diced Onions.

Grinch caught on camera stealing Christmas decoration. OK, but the grinch hated Christmas and wanted to ruin it for everyone in Whoville because he had a black heart. This guy probably just wanted some black tar heroin. Big difference.

Bonus: Sean and Lorri get snowglobed for mental health and you should, too.

There are 0 comments

On Developers Stomping Feet and Doubting that Vancouver is Awesome

A read of the local headlines finds Burb Panzers on fire, bad decisions abounding and plenty of self-serving bullshit.

On Boondoggles and Seeking Treatment for Vancouver’s Infectious Superficiality

A read of the local headlines reveals bad drivers, horrible politicians and vacuous yearnings in the shallows.

On Childish Nincompoops and Vancouver’s Growing Inability To Staff Itself

Sean Orr's latest read of the local headlines reveals a labour shortage and the Millennium Falcon in Surrey.

On Nude Oil Workers and Visual Metaphors for Tax Evasion

Sean Orr looks at the latest headlines and discovers satirical pitches, shallow sports cars, politics as usual and a mountain of garbage.